Thursday, April 08, 2010

ASSHOLE

You know the term: " Asshole"?

I am sure you say: Yes, of course...

And probably more curiously you'll ask me: Why? Why are you asking?

And here is my answer:

I thought I knew the answer as defined by dictionary until I met a real one. A real , especially branded : ASSHOLE.

Then I learned, probably I knew nothing about ASSHOLES and how you can be such an ASSHOLE!

It all goes back to where I work( no names mentioned as I am not seeking any trouble or any damages to any one's reputation but if readers who happen to be familiar with this place or this person, can figure out who I am talking about, I am not responsible for their wit!) which I believe has a good number of them( ASSHOLES, I mean! ). Actually, they should have it written in employment application somewhere that I happened to miss it or someone by mistake tick marked it for me! That one and also the most essential role of socializing in this environment: Smoking! You are either a player which means Smoker or not... And most important decisions are made when people chat unsolicited to the Higher Management in their smoke breaks. Amazing, ha?

Anyway, let me not diverge and go back to the sweet subject of how I have had the pleasure of working with an ASSHOLE.

Here is an ASSHOLE career path:

They are loud. They talk a lot and quickly without thinking through. They hold the rest of the world liable but themselves and if things did not turn as expected, of course the whole universe including all heavenly angels, CFO, CEO, CTO, CPU and whatever Cxx that you can think of it is CCd in their e-mails. This is just their beginning to ensure that their entry position is secured and that they make enough noise to get attention and to get promoted.

These people have ideas but ideas that are not well thought of are not certainly to the best interest of company and no one else in their team and here is when ASSHOLENESS comes handy. They advertise the idea, push for it, make another group like IT accountable for it and then ride! They become responsible and left and right they try to find things that are UNACCEPTABLE without thinking even for an eye blink: What is it that I or this project is trying to achieve?

Here is what goes on in their mind:
Well, there is money, there is bunch of people working, no one knows what is it that they really want but that is not important as long as I can define a moving Target and when they don't hit the target I tell them you did not deliver!

Brilliant!

This is called ASSHOLE methodology... It is a special philosophy that requires certain talents as not everyone can be as bold as to change things every two days and never assume himself responsible for... Plus the whole bulk of work that you do is never appreciated but a ting bit of mistake goes under magnifier to be reported to VP ... after all that tiny bit of 0.000095% is why we are not successful and can not go live with application... Even when it is not true, ASSHOLE has capabilities to convince that I am the customer and IT is my servant so you better be ahead of me... If I don't know what I want, IT needs to still deliver that.. Since I happen to not know what I want, I can be changing it so often that no one knows what the reality is... And still my ASSHOLE butt is saved!

I don't know how much of it made sense to you... I'm sure that there are other people dealing with ASSHOLES in their work and life... It's just that I am living in the village of ASSHOLES and needed to share my experience!