Comedian Lists Nine Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

I DO�.. WANT TO KNOW MORE: Comedian Lists Nine Questions to Ask Before Getting Married


New York, NY 10003

March 27 2006

New York, NY -- In the Wall Street Journal (March 27, 2006), Jeff Opdyke listed the nine questions partners should ask each other before getting married which all had to do with finances. “Who cares about that crap?” asks three-time Writers’ Guild Award winning sitcom and comic screenplay writer Sarit Catz. “I'll admit, money is important in making a marriage work, but there are a lot of other elements at play. If another paper, say the Main Street Journal, ran the article, they’d ask better questions.”Having once written and produced hits like “Full House,” “Coach,” “Soul Man” and other series, plus optioning two comic screenplays, Sarit took time out from Hollywood to start a family and a stand-up comedy career. “Most of my act is about being married and having kids so I have a pretty good idea of what people should ask each other,” says Catz. She cites nine questions she wishes she'd asked her husband before they got married:1. How much hair does your father have on his back? • Obviously I had already seen my then-fiancé's back but I had no idea that a little patch of hair here and there would combine to form a single giant shag rug all over his butt, back, and up and out of his collar. • Perhaps I would have been tipped off if I had known that his father's nickname was "Fur."2. How loud is your father's snoring? • Again, I already knew my then-fiancé snored a bit (don't tell my parents). But, I found the quiet, rhythmic sound reassuring and even cute. Little did I know it would develop into the ground-shaking, ear-splitting scourge of my nights. • It would have been helpful to know that his father snored like a grizzly and sent both his mother and the dog running from the room on many occasions.3. How much hair did your grandfathers have on their heads? • Is it God's sick joke that at the same time hair starts growing out of a man's nose, ears and butt-crack, it stops growing out of his scalp?4. Is it physically possible for you to take a dump without reading the newspaper? • I'm thinking without the reading materials, the bathroom time would be cut at least in half. I mean, forty-five minutes is a little too long to invest in a poop.5. What exactly is lactose intolerance and what are the ramifications thereof for the innocent bystander? • Have you ever smelled a pile of tires burning in a garbage dump? That's what I wish for after my husband has an ice cream.6. Can you go through a full day without hocking? • My husband can hock a loogie pretty much at will. And he will hock them frequently. One of our neighbors was so disgusted by his habit of hocking in our driveway every morning before he leaves for work that she actually sold her house and moved away. I miss you, Fran. Please call.7. Do you have a fascination with nature shows? • Apparently, the feeding habits of the two-toed sloth are so gripping that it becomes physically impossible to tear oneself away for the time it takes to discuss, say, the fact that the house is on fire. • The Betty Ford clinic is investigating the possibility of opening up a program for this addiction. In the meantime, just say no to the National Geographic Channel.8. Do you have a physical disability or handicap that will make it impossible for you to pack lunch for an elementary school student? • I don't remember taking a course in college on PB&J. In fact, I'm pretty sure I received no formal training in brown-bagging whatsoever. And yet, I've managed to master this difficult skill set. • Researchers on the Human Genome Project are trying to isolate a gene on the Y-chromosome that makes lunch-packing simply impossible for men to master (of course, most of the researchers are men looking for an excuse).9. Will you always stay as kind, funny, generous, and loving as you are before the wedding? • Luckily for me, my husband has. And, notwithstanding what I've learned would be the answers to the other eight questions, I think I'll keep him. • After all, this is the only question that really counts, isn't it?About Sarit Catz:A recognized comedy expert, Sarit Catz began her comedy career in radio, creating, writing and producing three award-winning comedy services for ABC Radio Networks and other nationally syndicated services bringing her jokes, voices, song-parodies, and other bits to every market in the nation, from New York’s WPLJ to LA’s KLOS. Sarit went on to become a television writer/producer with credits that include “Coach,” “Full House,” “Soul Man,” “Talk to Me,” “The Crew,” “Café Americain,” and “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.” In the feature film arena, Sarit wrote and sold options on two original screenplays currently being marketed to studios by producers. She has won three (3) Writers’ Guild of America Awards and been named a semi-finalist in the ScriptapaloozaTV screenwriting contest. When Sarit’s children were born, so was her stand-up comedy career. Not only do the kids drive Sarit crazy enough to run screaming from the house and into the clubs, they also provide her with plenty of material. She has played numerous comedy clubs including The Comic Strip, Stand-Up New York, Gotham Comedy Club, Comedy Cellar, New York Comedy Club, Boston Comedy Club, Yuk Yuk’s, The Improv, Rascals Montclair, Palisades, and West Orange, Jenkinson’s, Uncle Floyd’s, and many more. She is currently the Head Writer for the “Bob Gonzo Show,” a sketch/variety show appearing on RipeTV, the new on-demand network, on the internet, and in syndication. She is a semi-finalist in the 2006 “Great Canadian Laugh-Off” and is currently competing in the invitation-only “Gilda’s Club Laugh-Off.” For more information, visit www.princessofcomedy.com