Wedensday... Oct 12th

Today was wed. Oct. 12th ...

I am wondering if in my life I will forget his date 10/12/2005

It started as a lucky day... I was wearing my Jane Mansfield type dress but left my dead cell phone at home...While driving I thought why did I leave it? Shall I go back and get it?

No was the easy answer.

I took the road to drive along the Pacific Coast ... That's the least amount of pleasure I can give myself each day ...

I passed by the cafe at the intersection ... the smell of fresh coffe burnt my nostrils and the sight of the young man behind his laptop, drinking leisurely his cup and gazing at the monitor was such a familiar yet desirable scene that sent me off to the heaven of day dreaming ...

The road soon brought me back to reality

Arrived at work just to find a note at my desk that I will present to VP of my group in less than 15 minutes ...

Good thing I felt ready but I had to run on my heels to get the color copy of my chef d'heuvres

It was awesome ... I made sense ..He agreed ... I smiled ... They smiled bigger and the room was full of cheesy tye nods of supportet mikonim khar jooon!!!!

And khar joon went back 2 her desk ...

The day went on ... it was nice ... not eventful but nice...

Till I decided to call Brandon and follow up on my last and biggest hope to draw the line of END to my long, unfinished affair with USCIS...

It was then that the world collapsed...
Wait a minutes ... I guess it was me who collapsed
Or better to say something in me
And let me be straight ... it was my heart ... Are babam jaan ghalbam bood ke talapi az oon bala oftad va oon paeen vasat e zamin pakhs shod raft pei e karesh

Very easily and straightforward , Brandon tells me that the FOIPA reply from FBI that states I am not a criminal does not work 2 finish my divorce file from INS...

Something is wrong ...so wrong ... don't know why ... I am just thinking God .. why all these happen 2 me or at least I feel that way...

My life is in a direction totally the opposite of what I had always thought to be exciting and I can't see why ... or even what can I change....Eversince my feet touched the doorstep of US Embassy in Turkey in 1999 , I got cursed ... the curse of immigration fear and anxiety and it's with me...chasing me nonestop

Then I decided to go and see turtles can fly ( Lak posht ha ham parvaz mikonand)

At the Iran-Turkey boarder , there are Kurds living..Kurds of Iran...the Kurds