Khepeleh

Desensitized?!

2010-08-02T11:18:00.000-07:00

OK... I think I have understood by now in my life that you can't change anyone in this world. That's from a logic pov though. From an emotional and feeling wise, I guess I will never really understand it or to say it in more exact terms I will never stop being hurt.

What is it in daily life that makes us become desensitized to each other sensitivities? Is it the miracle of sleeping in the same bed and opening your eyes to see the same person beside you? Is it the simplicity of expecting certain feelings are always there for you? For example feeling that you are loved no matter what you do, and how much effort you put, so let's just take it easy and not put that much burden on myself!

It is the challenge of living together. I think that's why living prior to getting married is not a good idea. You simply get used to the person and take that person for granted. What attracts us to each other at the beginning is the similarities then it becomes how each one tries to make the other one happy and then simply when you have the person beside you, you forget how hard you tried to have that person... It's then that you forget how simply taking her picture makes her happy... how she is sensitive about certain subjects which are so naively stupid sometimes but hurts her...

May be I am the same way... I know I have forgotten how I was.. I know that life is eating away my soul, piece by piece... actually it is not life that is eating it but it is the burden of earning means for a living while maintaining my sanity between stress and the love for the wide eyed kid who poses me questions with her eye?

I guess I will find out one day but hopefully not too late...

Meanwhile I miss ... I miss the feeling of ... ok.. let's leave it...

" Madar e Bache ha"

2010-07-13T12:07:00.000-07:00

یه روز و روزگاری که من هنوز فسیل ما قبل تاریخ نشده بودم و کتاب می‌خوندم و خلاصه هنوز آدم بودم یادم میاد که توی کتابهای فارسی‌ یه اصطلاحی بود که مردای حاج آقا مآب استفاده میکردن. اون هم عین بود که به زنشون که در بازی موارد هم زن اولشون بود میگفتن: "مادر بچه ها"! من همیشه خیلی‌ از این قضیه بدم می‌اومد و هی‌ فکر می‌کردم که عین یه جوری کم کردن ارزش زنشه که توی برای من مهم نیستی‌ ولی‌ این که مادر این توله‌های نازنین هستی‌، مهمت می‌کنه و من باید بدارمت!

حالا خودم دارم میبینم که نه بابا فقط حاج آقاها نیستن که اینقد گلن... بابا پیشرفته تراشون هم همینند ! واقعا از وقتی‌ آوا اومده ، من فکر می‌کنم که این اتفاقیه که افتاده که من در مقام مادری ، فقط دارم ظاهر میشم و بس! یکی‌ نیست بگه من قبل از هر چیز زن بودم و هستم... با عواطف و احساسات خودم... مثل این که جنابعالی عاشق من شدین که بعدا این فینگیلک ظهور کرد.. جرأت داری بگو... و جرأت داری انتظار داشته باش که به جز ۲ روز و نه بیشتر چیزی عوض شه!

من به یه نتیجه رسیدم که عوض هم نمیکنمش.. اگه میخواین زن خوشبخت و جوان و راحتی‌ باشین... دنبال درس و مرس نرین... مغز هم نداشته باشین بهتره... ایرونی‌ جماههتش که عاشق اینه که یه احمق

بیاره که هر کاری بکنه ، فکر کنه ...این مرد نابغه است و من احمق ..چه جور به عقلم نرسید... حتا اگه واقعا هم اینطور فکر نمی‌کنین...اگه اینطور رفتار کنین، خوشبخت میشین ... پول خیلی‌ مهمه... هر کی‌ میگه نیست، تو این دنیا زندگی‌ نمی‌کنه یا درویشه... اگه قراره آدم ، آخر کار با این هم سود و عقل و فهم ، از صبح تا شب جون بکنه، مادر خوبی‌ هم باش، خودش هم زندگی‌ نداشته باشه که شب بیاد بغل دست آقای " مادر بچه ها" باشه، بهتره که حد اقل ، یه "آقای "مادر بچه ها" پدیا کنه که وزنش از طلا باشه و دستش به دهانش برسه که کلفاتش براش قورمه سبزیش رو بپزن!

ASSHOLE

2010-04-08T13:09:00.000-07:00

You know the term: " Asshole"?

I am sure you say: Yes, of course...

And probably more curiously you'll ask me: Why? Why are you asking?

And here is my answer:

I thought I knew the answer as defined by dictionary until I met a real one. A real , especially branded : ASSHOLE.

Then I learned, probably I knew nothing about ASSHOLES and how you can be such an ASSHOLE!

It all goes back to where I work( no names mentioned as I am not seeking any trouble or any damages to any one's reputation but if readers who happen to be familiar with this place or this person, can figure out who I am talking about, I am not responsible for their wit!) which I believe has a good number of them( ASSHOLES, I mean! ). Actually, they should have it written in employment application somewhere that I happened to miss it or someone by mistake tick marked it for me! That one and also the most essential role of socializing in this environment: Smoking! You are either a player which means Smoker or not... And most important decisions are made when people chat unsolicited to the Higher Management in their smoke breaks. Amazing, ha?

Anyway, let me not diverge and go back to the sweet subject of how I have had the pleasure of working with an ASSHOLE.

Here is an ASSHOLE career path:

They are loud. They talk a lot and quickly without thinking through. They hold the rest of the world liable but themselves and if things did not turn as expected, of course the whole universe including all heavenly angels, CFO, CEO, CTO, CPU and whatever Cxx that you can think of it is CCd in their e-mails. This is just their beginning to ensure that their entry position is secured and that they make enough noise to get attention and to get promoted.

These people have ideas but ideas that are not well thought of are not certainly to the best interest of company and no one else in their team and here is when ASSHOLENESS comes handy. They advertise the idea, push for it, make another group like IT accountable for it and then ride! They become responsible and left and right they try to find things that are UNACCEPTABLE without thinking even for an eye blink: What is it that I or this project is trying to achieve?

Here is what goes on in their mind:
Well, there is money, there is bunch of people working, no one knows what is it that they really want but that is not important as long as I can define a moving Target and when they don't hit the target I tell them you did not deliver!

Brilliant!

This is called ASSHOLE methodology... It is a special philosophy that requires certain talents as not everyone can be as bold as to change things every two days and never assume himself responsible for... Plus the whole bulk of work that you do is never appreciated but a ting bit of mistake goes under magnifier to be reported to VP ... after all that tiny bit of 0.000095% is why we are not successful and can not go live with application... Even when it is not true, ASSHOLE has capabilities to convince that I am the customer and IT is my servant so you better be ahead of me... If I don't know what I want, IT needs to still deliver that.. Since I happen to not know what I want, I can be changing it so often that no one knows what the reality is... And still my ASSHOLE butt is saved!

I don't know how much of it made sense to you... I'm sure that there are other people dealing with ASSHOLES in their work and life... It's just that I am living in the village of ASSHOLES and needed to share my experience!

What the hell am I doing?

2010-01-20T12:21:00.000-08:00

As I sit here in my office and stare at the falling rain outside window, I am flooded with ideas. Idea of living a life that I don't. Idea of waking up and deciding for a day what to do instead of a predestined, pre programmed life. And no I am not talking about not working as in my life work is essentail. Work means dinero! Means getting to keep the ball rolling, means taking Ava to Disneyland, means taking her to vacation, means me deciding what shoes to buy. In all its banality, that is life. Those simple decisions and choices in life mean a lot if you can not go with your heart desire.
Falling rain, how I wish and only wish that I could sit in front of fire and stare at you falling on earth for fifteen minutes without blinking, without interruption. Yes, I can do it right now from my office but my mind tells me: Robot, go back to work and think about the pile of things that you need to think about. They pay you to think about them, their problems and finiding solution not thinking about rain!

Sometimes I have to pinch myself. Just to make sure I still have the human flesh and bone while my mind has been transformed into nothing but a well programmed robot.

I miss myself.

12773 Caswell Ave., #104, Los Angeles, CA | Powered by Postlets

2009-09-30T17:08:00.001-07:00

12773 Caswell Ave., #104, Los Angeles, CA | Powered by Postlets

Shared via AddThis

Pootin e Sarbazi Maghz ro Aab Mikone va Mooha ro Kachal...

2009-06-22T16:22:00.000-07:00

Yadam miad hamisheh az checkmeh hai e arteshi badam mioomad. Be nazarm hamisheh kheili bad rikht boodan. Meshki va bad gheiafeh. Fekr mikardam ke paha che beicharee ee hastan ke bayad oon too bemoonan va bepoosan. Enghad ke band e kafsh lazem dasht va saghesh boland bood! Oon joorab e araghoo ke az toosh darmioomad.. pif pif...

Yeki az familamoon ke sarbaz bood yadame ke chand bar oomad shab pish e ma bemoone. Yadame oon mogh be baradarm ke az man koochiktar bood va hamdast e kharabkari ham goftam ke ein pesar e az bas ein chekmeh ha ro pooshideh, maghzesh aab shodeh va moohash kachal shodeh. Oon ham harf e man ro bavar kard va gharar shod oon pesar e sarbaz e bad bakht ro nejabt bedim. Baray e ein kar ham sangai e tazeeni too kooze gol e nakhl e khoone ro var dashtim va checkmeh ro barash por kardim....

Vaghti oon beichareh mikhast bere padegan, yadam e ma khaab boodim vali dafe baadesh ke oomad khoone ma digeh chakmeh hash ro napooshid. Lebas e sarbazi tanesh bood vali kafshash mamooli bood...

Ye modat baad ke moohash ham daroomad, man be baradarm goftam ke ma nejatesh dadim az kachali.

Hala ke ein pootinhai e bad rikht e sarbaza ro didam ke too ein tazahorat ha jeloo mardom e ma vaimisan, yad e ein dastan oftdam... kashki mifahmidan ke pootin e sarbazi maghz ro aab mikone ve mooha ro kachal....

Where Are You?

2009-06-22T14:11:00.000-07:00

I am addressing all the human right activists, humanitarians, freedom fighters, politicians, decision makers, all people that say they support movements for freedom in the world, that they care about human rights, and democracy for all.

Where are you now?

Haven't you been watching the news on CNN? Iran has been headline of news for the past couple of days. It feels it has been going on forever. But still you are silent.

Don't you believe it? That's all I can think of it as with the advent of these new phones, I doubt that important people like you have not heard of this big news yet.

Mr. Chris De Burgh ... you traveled to Iran and mentioned how you liked Iranian people. Don't you think it is appropriate to voice your concerns over violence in Iran? Mr. Sean Penn, perhaps you can educate your fellow Hollywood stars about Iran and what is going on right now. If you raise your voice against violence in Iran, it will attract the attention of non -Iranians. It will make more and more people aware of torture in Iran and perhaps the international crowd can help.

As you all may remember, Iranians held a candle light vigil in Tehran in memory of all people who lost their lives in the tragic event of September 11th. Don't you think it is time to reciprocate the favor?

If in your heart, you consider yourself an advocate for human rights, we need your help. Right now. All we ask for now is to raise your voice in our support. To notify people around you. People in Iran need to see this action. To see that world supports them. It is at times of hardship and despair that support matters most.

Thanks for reading this piece.

To Neda's Killer

2009-06-22T11:39:00.000-07:00

Each of us have a life to live. There is no one but us that decides how to live that life. At points there are critical actions that can alter one's life forever. Actions that can haunt a person for a man's life...actions that can make them live the hell in life. Does anyone want to be a criminal? Even the thought of it is frightening but...

I know at least one person who has decided to be a criminal. To kill an innocent young woman by choice. The moment you raised that gun, the moment you pulled that trigger, did you ever ponder for a second that you are killing an innocent person? Did you think that you are becoming GHATEL? Did you think that everyone will be afraid of you as if you are infected by plague? Did you know that you have to carry the burdeon of that scene for ever in front of your eyes? Sleep will no longer be the solution to your pain. Her face, her neck bleeding, her body in her father's arms will be your nightmare for the rest of your life.

They thaught us at school some principles. I guess you know them too. Do not steal. Do not take what is not yours. How did you dare to take Neda's life? Were you the one who gave her life? Weren't you afraid of God or whoever you beleive that created her life, your life, my life?

I know that street"Khosravi" very very well. I grew up there and I've passed by that place many times in my life, enough to know that you; such a coward , could not have shot her from inside the crowd. You would have been shred into pieces in no time by people who are way braver than you are. Were you standing on the roof? Were you thinking you are safe? This is what was going through your head: " No one can see me. I just kill them from here and I can escape easily".

Escape to where? to who? Do you think there is ever an escape for you or the ones like you? Think about all the eyes that turned towards the direction of bullet. You were fleeing and saving your timid life. Running with all your power. But , those eyes will chase you. All of them every single minute and there is no refuge.... EVER.

You know how we have Nefrin - curse(making ill wishes for some one else) in Farsi? You are cursed by her mom. Her sobbing mother. Her faher carrying her lifeless body. All people who saw this, who got to know about this all over the world. Can your tiny brain understand this? I repeart: ALL OVER THE WORLD!!!!

Rest in Hell while she rests in peace in Heaven. If you are a person who can be in his shoes and read this, make your choice. Reconsider before raising that club, before shooting that bullet, before being violent, do not create a hell for yourself, the kind of Hell that even doom's day can not bring an end to it.

Burning in fire of regret evry day and sleeping through nightmare of chasing eyes....

Roohash Shad.

Bye Bye Cockroach!

2009-01-26T23:03:00.000-08:00

I am having one of those moments. I am not hurt, wounded, stabbed or for that matter nothing bad has happened to me but I feel pain. It is a sharp pain. It starts somewhere in the middle of my body and it radiates to my head. I guess it is my heart since it is an emotional pain I feel. Nothing physical.

Today, corporate America announced that they are laying off 50,000 people. As this gloomy day progressed, this number got even bigger. By the end of the day it hit 68,000 jobs being cut. That could easily be translated to 200,000 people, considering an average family of 3 members.

And I close my eyes, trying to see those families got impacted....

A couple who is expecting their first baby and so much need that valuable insurance plan to ensure mom gets proper care during her pregnancy and later for delivery....

The family with three little daughters where Mummy is a homemaker and Daddy is the main bread earner...

That sixty year old engineer who has served his company for thirty years and was just about ready to retire...

My list goes on and on. It makes my head spin.

It is sad. Trust me. Been there. Done that.

When I got laid off, it left a sour taste in my mouth forever. Plus I learned one big lesson:" The word: loyalty does not exist in Corporate America's Dictionary".

It took me a long while to digest my layoff. Not even sure if I ever did despite all my counseling and therapy sessions.

After apprehending the news which took 72 hours in my case back then, my first thought was: Where do I start again?

And that simple question...is so complicated. It is like having the history of my professional experience marching live in front of me. And I need to remember the moments, the details, the achievements, and find ways to market myself.

Market myself? Oh yeah... That is huge stuff... Job search needs a marketing plan and a sales pitch and a good sales man who knows how to network and reach out...

And if you are not a sales man, no worries. In the job search, you will turn into one.

You go on so much interviews and so many times you have to repeat the same phrases to recruiters that you become well-versed in your sales pitch. Beyond professionalism. I remember I could even see behind the phone when someones eyes glaze over while I was talking. It made me cut the crap and get to the point faster.

Although losing my job was hard, tough, emotionally as well as financially, I can't deny the big positive impact it had on me. It made me think about myself. What I've been doing?...Where do I stand?...Is this what I wanted? How far am I from where I want to be?

And that was fabulous.

To stop. To take a break from the life of a mechanical cockroach that I was. To observe this mechanical cockroach and wonder why it was programmed the way it was. Was it me or was it corporate America that made a cockroach out of me? Did the cockroach feel any joy or even sadness or may be disappointment?

At the beginning of job search, I remembered all the disappointments. All the negative stuff at my work that made me swear I'd never go back to the office again. And sure enough I did....at least for some , rather long time.

Now, that I had a chance for a fresh start over, I started thinking of what I needed to have in my new job to add some element of joy to the cockroach manner of life. Even put together a list, not very extensive but knew what I wanted exactly.

As the job search went on and I met more and more decision makers and I learned how bumpy this road can be, then the old workplace started looking shiny.

And I should say that every sunrise in my life, made that old office seem brighter and brighter. Especially when I started to realise it is not about what you know or your capabilities. It is about who you know and how you present that little mechanical cockroach: stylish, obedient, or a rebel, or may be a forward thinker?

I decided to let the cockroach be a passionate one. Get out of the shell of a mechanical one and may be not even be a cockroach anymore. Let it show some passion, pour enthusiasm and go for what really excites her. Unfortunately the outcome was not that promising. A stable cockroach with the dominant characteristics of a reliable, ever obedient servant is much better suited in the world of Corporate America.

The result was natural, I shifted gears and decided to hide the bright feathers I had put on this cockroach. Let it be the same rusty, brownish looking creature with hypnotized eyes.

The miracle worked and I got job offers.

It is all about marketing, about mesmerizing a decision maker enough with the fact that you are the mechanical cockroach in metamorphosis. And that they need you.

My heart goes to anyone who got laid off and their families. Best of luck in job search. If I can be of any help through my LinkedIn network or in any other way, please don't hesitate to contact me.

Law-Enforcement Agents in Recession Time

2008-10-06T10:46:00.000-07:00

The heart of rabbit is pounding hard as she cruises along the bushes to get home. With every single step, she knows that any moment she can be trapped. This forest is full of wolves. Hungry, angry, devastated wolves waiting for her tender flesh. Wolves already salivating at the thought of jumping at her and seeing the extreme of fright in her eyes. But despite all this, all this fear and paralyzing ansgt, she has to go on. Simply because life goes on...and she has to live right here in forest.

The story is a simple metaphor for police cars cruising the streets of Los Angeles nowadays. I am not sure if it is the state deficit or the global recession that has put the pressure on them. Turning them into non-human predators scanning every single movement of cars to find a reason to turn on their blinding roof lights and chase the poor captive.

And they are never short of excuses, reasons to stop you and give you a ticket. Whatever you say, however you try is like talking to a wall. Sometimes I feel talking to a wall makes more sense as you do not expect the least of intelligence that you would be anticipating from these so-called human police force.

Yesterday, it was a gorgeous day with the sun shining in a clear sky after a rainy night. A beautiful day to spend at Farmer's market with a friend to chit chat and buy some fresh veggies. As I strap the seat belt of my little baby girl, I feel excited for the fresh weather and the fine morning. Saturday was kind of a gloomy day with some rain. Although I love rain but nowadays that I work full time and have 48 hours of fun limit with my baby, I do hope for a better weather on weekend.

Anyhow, as I started, I figured it would be a nice idea to double check where we meet with my friend. So, with my lovely headset on, I make a quick phone call and we confirm where to meet around 11 AM. I hang up and a few minutes later I arrive behind the red light. I think to myself let's check the time and I look at my cell phone which shows 11:58... Surpisedly I take a look at my car clock which shows a 10:55. I am wondering in my head what is going on, when I notice the light has turned green and I need to go. I move on and just a second later I notice a police car beside me that suddenly shifts lanes and places itself right behind me. Next thing I know are the bright lights sending threatening signals my way.

I stop and a bulky white guy created just to ruin my day and perhaps the day of a few hundred other people in his life time comes to my window.

Officer: Insurance and driver license, M'me.

I pull my stuff together asking:
I: Why have you stopped me?

Officer: You were talking on the phone.
I: I was not...

His words are so shocking that I forget that I am wearing my beautiful headset and it is none of his business even if I was talking on my cell phone!

He gets my stuff and disappears... My little girl starts crying. As I see no action from him but standing by the wall, I turn to his side and open the window...Then I see his partner busy scibbling...what could be a potential, aweful ticket for no reason!

I: Officer, are you writing me a ticket?
Trying my best to control my voice and making it sound normal not annoyed!
Officer: Close the window, M'me.

I: But I did not do anything wrong!!!!!!

He looks away. The person who is supposed to be enforcing the law in the city is giving me a ticket for merely looking at my phone!!!!

I: Officer, here is my phone; you can see that I was not talking.
Officer: You were looking at it, impeding the traffic...

I am like big deal! Since when looking at your phone is a crime? Plus haven't you experienced a dozen times people who are distracted at the turn of the light and you need to honk your horn not to miss the light? Another plus: there was no traffic...it was a Sunday and street was clear by all means...

Partner officer who I guess might be in training comes forward with the ticket. My baby is crying so frantically and I am so frustrated by this unfairness that my heart is pounding... it's a rabbit trapped by the wolves...

I shake my Smart Phone in his face.
I: Officer, this is a smart phone( stressing the word smart by all means!), it has a log of all my calls, texts, activities, etc. You can see I was not using my phone; I was just looking at it as I was wondering about the correct time...

He simply ignores me and my request for him to look at my phone. Perhaps he thinks that my phone might bite him? Or may be he is afraid that he can not make his quota of the day for giving tickets and make the government richer? I don't know...All I know is that he hands me the pen to sign.

Officer: M'me I could have given you a ticket for moving violation but I did not.

I: I just moved on when it was green.

Officer: But you had a delay...

My baby screams. I sign the freaking ticket.

I get out of my car to unbuckle my baby and hold her and calm her down. She has had a good doze of fear on our day off. I look straight at the two so-called officers as they pull away. The one who gave me the ticket diverts his gaze, trying to avoid my offended, piercing look.

They leave and I am left with the thought of how unfair they were. To add salt to my wound as I resume driving to farmer's market, there is a jeep in front of me with the driver holding his bulky phone to his ear, talking. He talks and talks as we pass through 3-4-5 lights and no body stops him.

Now, I know why he and so many law breakers get away with it because the law-enforcement is after giving tickets for nonsense reasons to elevate the government financial gap not really enforcing the law...

I left home without...

2008-10-03T11:32:00.000-07:00

even seeing my daughter wake up today....
It was dark
the room was dark
and I could only see her precious butt pointing upwards...
in the amazingly funny position that she sleeps...
And it's me hovering over the bed...
thinking I need to leave
And I'll be away for straight 8-9 hours before
I can see her again...
touch her soft skin...
Emrge in her big, brownish eyes...
And let my heart go light as she smiles and giggles
Showing off the gap between her front teeth...

It's hard being a mom

But then thinking about the paycheck
It releives me that it's there
for us...
for her...

And today is a Friday...
Happy Friday....

After a long long time

2008-09-29T11:38:00.000-07:00

I am writing here after an awefully long time...actually I miss you Khepeleh Jaan! The reason was simple...
It was corportae america lack of respect for human being..
Plus the fact that we live in an everchanging world of unceratinities
And if you are wondering what I mean by this bold statement read on
I was LAID OFF while on maternity leave...
Scary... ha?
Yeah...when Ava Goli was only a weak old and I could hardly walk after that killer C-section, I got calls from a recruiter at K-Force..
I told her that I am on maternity leave and by law I can not seek another employment opportunity
God... I am naive..so naive
Let me go back
I need to write this as a novel...
May be I will sell it and get rich to be able to spend more time with my baby and write and write...
So get ready you are about to read the first pass at
The Miserable Chronicles of a Job Hunter
It's a ride...
Get ready and stay tuned.

And now we want a baby, what happens next? Part I

2007-12-16T06:12:00.000-08:00

My nails have gone into a shock. This is the unbelievable fact that the Doctors agreed upon. There are some weird looking lines and dents on my nails due to a trauma. And guess what. That trauma was my delivery.

I have such a dramatic, unique delivery experience that I finally decided to write about it. It would be hard to do a full spiel version of it for every single one of my friends over the phone.

I don't want to bore you with details of how I, we decided to have a baby. All I can say is that the biggest trigger was after I got sick in a Southern America country. It was then and there that I felt the power of having someone/people to care for as a family. The other thing that I experienced painfully was the ugliness of selfishness and being egocentric.

Anyhow, after my flight landed in LA in September 2006, the next big call I made after calling my hubby to pick me up from the airport was to call my OB.

Now, this one was a new OB for me due to the fact that my former OB would not accept any type of insurance anymore! And that would be kind of , sort of expensive especially if planning for a pregnancy.

So, one fine day @ 8: 00 AM I show up in her office in which the daylight pours in and I tell her we have decided to have a baby but not so fast, but in a way that the baby is born before I turn 35 and now I am 34. And being the lovely, logical, American Doctor that she is, she understands that what I need is to start right away trying. Of course, I haven't understood yet that the moment that you decide to have a baby, it does not happen next day or next month. The reason I say this is because many of my friends who will read this think like me. We always think that it is a matter of our decision. And especially for us, immigrant ones that never everything seems to be fitting perfectly to have a baby, we have an extra bunch of reasons/ excuses to deal with. So, summary: Friends, Foes, Folks...getting pregnant might take time, so plan accordingly!

And the I want to get pregnant journey begins. And by a journey I mean it. You really have to prepare for it. When the ovulation happens, when you should have an intercourse, when you should test. God, that 's a hell of lot planning at least for me.

The ovulation test sticks were the funniest part. You pay 20 bucks for a 2 of these test thingees and you pee on them and boom they are gone! So, I decided to try the 7 day one and sometimes that sounded such a waste. One pal re commanded buying it from 99 cent stores. I never went for it since I had realized I don't want to waste any time! So, the first time was kind of fun, we were still experimenting. But then when I realised that we have to schedule our busy lives around GOD knows when to have sex, there came the funny part.

That having planned sex in the middle of the week nights...now, if you are married for a couple of years and you come home tired, forcing yourself to have sex is not exactly like watching Lakers game. Any fun thing when you need to plan for it and do it this way and that way , the fun flies right out of the window.

And even the best part is when one is travelling and you don't want to miss that precious moment that happens once in month. After all, a year has no more than 12 months and so you have no more chances than that ! 1 out of 12 that is pretty a big chunk!

So, we slowly planned our lives around it. Once even my hubby had to drive 200 miles overnight to save the precious moments when the eggs inside me were boiling hot to meet cool, sexy sperms in him. And guess what, the result was that single line in pregnancy kit which means none !

So, after like three/four months I was like : This is tough! A game that you have to play carefully but you have no idea for how long?! Any game like that gets boring even if it's playing a slot machine in Vegas when you have endless number of coins and each time you play , you know you have a chance of winning that big, juicy, red BMW convertible spinning around !

Anyhow, one fine day in January when experimenting with different brands of these pregnancy kits just for keep it fun sake, I came up with two sticks instead of one! And since I was born a always double check it before announce it type of a person, next thing I did was running all the way to Savon to indulge and buy one of those more expensive but dummy proof ones that shows the words pregnant/not pregnant!

So, I have the test , I came back home and with my crime partner we test and guess what it shows the precious words : pregnant! And after the first jumps up and down, I am like what if this is not working right, I have to check with my OB.

And here we have brave me in OB's office telling them what I had seen in test sticks. I have test sticks neatly wrapped in tissues in my bag just in case. After all in such cases you need OB/nurse to still believe that you are not hallucinating.

And the big news is confirmed! I am a prego! And then I am like OK, how am I supposed to feel? I am not talking about morning sickness or anything of that physical nature, I am thinking feeling wise. It's like they say there's a baby somewhere inside me, but where, what, what am I supposed to be feeling? Is that all right to be wondering like that?

And technology, God bless it has an answer to all these confusions in my head struggling with my happy part of the brain. Doctor sends me to sonography and it was there and then that I felt in love with... no there was no baby there...with a point. There was a point the size of a walnut may be and Susan kindly told me that it's my baby. The point was not even moving which but I could feel it was live. There was another life in me ! It was superb, yet strange! Hey I am not that kind of a person that feels all the time : oh, sweet, great, cute. Sorry to disappoint you but hey that's who I am so bear with my logical, wanting to make sense out of everything nature as you read along. I can promise you if you are in the same boat, you will have a fun ride. And if you are not, hey just read on, what have you got to lose? Just adding another 5-10 minutes to that bunch of God, I wasted my time.

So, here I am out the door with a Black and White print of my so called tummy with a black point in it called our baby. I could not walk. There were too much stuff going in my head. I rush to the restroom, unzip my pants and let my belly out. I stare at it and ask: baby are you there? There is no movement inside me but there is a new vibe in my heart. It pounds faster as I am handling my new emotions. And then I discovered a big fact. All these years that I talked about abortion so easily, what a bull shit, none sense speaker I was. Don't get me wrong. I was/am/will be 100% pro abortion right, but now I understand that it is a huge, huge decision to make, that indeed from even the very early on, there is life growing inside the woman. I just hope that no woman ever faces that situation and I hope if they do, they don't get a chance to do a sonography. To me , that can make it a lot harder.

So, we celebrate the Life inside me! The Life that is growing because of us! Some sort of pleasure neither of us could experience without the other, without our love.

And as the initial excitement settles in me, my brain switches to baby delivery mood. And my quest starts for facts, figures, methods, right and wrongs.

And now I am tired, I'll tell you the rest in my next episode! :)

Yek eshgh va sadha esm

2007-12-05T00:11:00.000-08:00

Khosh daram ke har rooz nami novin naham bar koodakam
Ava sultan e azizam, madarat gorbeh sultan havashai e gharib dard
Nokhst tu ra sultan munchkin e aval namidam
Va na chandan dirtar soli goli
Va angah Mash baghar vaghti faryadha mizani
Va gol bagher angah ke chon gol mishekofi
Gah ham mash soleiman va gol soleiman
Va dar roozi khosh be Tooba andishidam
Be yade beheshti ke az an ghadam bar sarzamine zendegani e ma nahadi
Va einchenin bood ke boobie
Har chand ke madare tajdaram hamchenan tu ra Bibi naz mikhanad
Va baray e man avay e shirini hasti ke didanat zendegi ra rangi sabztar mibakhshad.

2007-12-04T23:49:00.000-08:00

Another day went by and I am getting close to date I need to go back to work. While there are exciting things to think about but the thought of being away from my little Boobie makes me v. sad. The thought of missing all these wonderful first time moments. The chance of seeing her smile first thing in the morning. The chance of washing her tooshi in the morning and get how excited she gets when I open her diaper! OMG... this is sad... I wish there was a law and some enough money that I could stay with you Boobie for like 6 more months...Boobie I know we need each other like flower needing sun...you are my sunshine boobie..your presence cheers me up every single day and your smile brighten my heart...How can I survive? I am just hoping for a miracle my boobie...God, I trust you....may be you can make it happen...may be a Neiman Marcus fashion manager falls in love with my designs and I get rich...may be more people love my stuff enough to buy them...I don't know boobie...All I know is that I love u...

2007-12-04T23:35:00.000-08:00

This is the most amazing creature I have met...She changes every day and sometimes I feel like she changes several times a day. While her outside appearance changes so rapidly, her evolution is constant but not as fast. May be she takes her time to digest us, the envioronment and the mindset of people that surround her.
Her focus in life is getting milk and for that she kills. Not that she takes a weapon and attacks us but she cries so bitterly, so hard that you melt. You just leave the task at hand, that unfinished meal and rush to feed her.
She loves to move her little legs in the air when we undress her...may be that's how we all are but we decide to hide those less than perfect bodies and that's how we come up with dresses. Well, apart from winter and cold weather stuff or may be fashion thinees...I love this creature...it just takes one smile to get me into doing what she desires!:)

Transformation

2007-11-18T07:07:00.000-08:00

And with the baby comes some sort of an alert implemented in your nervous system. It is the most powerful of all sensors as it works with the slightest change in breathing of that lovely creature lying next to you. In a way that you forget you were so deeply sleeping and you roll over to take her into breastaraunt! You forget about your own sleep and while she's is hungrily devouring the breast, you just open your eyes and get mesmerized by the beauty of this creature having a fiesta on your nipple...accompanied by the melody of her greedy sucking noises, you have the opportunity of watching the most perfect show of all times. The continuos show of creation and nurturing. And that is indeed the greatest show of all times. As without this show, the mankind was doomed to diminish many many moons ago.

Imagine what you want

2007-05-30T11:36:00.000-07:00

They say try to visualize what you want to happen to you and it will come true.

What do I want?

I want the mortgage of our house paid so no fret over it all the time which is scary.
I want to write regulaly and be more confident about it and that I am going the right direction. I have to finish up my current story and polish the old one and try 2 get them somewhere. I have a great imagination and coming up with stories is not a problem for me. Also, I need to keep my friends and pals around me. I have met some v. cool people that can help me with this goal. I need 2 be more dilligent in keeping contact with them.

Ultimately I want to spend more time with Ojel. Unless I find a way 2 make more money and make ends meet..that is just a dream , a utopia and I will spend more of my shiny days behind the computer in this corner office

This can be my ideal day:

Wake up
Shower
Write for 2 hours... it's like 10 AM
Go with Ojel 2 Yoga or beach for 2 hrs 12 PM
Come home - have lunch 2PM
Nap time for Ojeli and Mummy 4 PM
Storytime for Ojel and Reading time for mummy 6 PM
Meet with friends/ Watch Movies/ Have fun with Ojel / Just leave her 2 Farbod after 6 PM
Dinner @ 9-10 PM

OOF!!! That sounds great....I'll include working on my cafepress shop and more reading and excercise somewhere in this lovely schedule as well

Baby Names

2007-05-21T10:41:00.000-07:00

Nika
Yassmina

ABC Bingo

2007-04-16T11:36:00.000-07:00

What people can notice about me quite easily is my love for colors. I live a life of brightest colors!!! My paintings are as colorful as nature and my wardrobe definitely competes with it. The cheerful colors speed up the circulation of my blood and make me think better! And that is the secret to my creativity!

I come up with imaginary characters that only a few selected know about them. The creatures that each have their own personalities, ups and downs . Interestingly enough this amusing characters come from different parts of the world. Having explored enough cultures in this global village, I can claim that their personalities are quite genuine.

The ensemble of these qualities makes my life exceptional! As a passionate writer who works at Corporate America in capacity of an Engineering Manager to pay the bills, I have a tough time chaining myself to my office desk from down to dusk. But I keep the brightest smile ever and let my presence shine over the gloom of a pay check to pay check life of engineers/people surrounding me. All these could not have been made possible without my being so lucky as to have such strong imagination and passion for life. Viva la vida!

That's why I think you should put me on the show :)

Povrecito

2007-03-28T07:56:00.000-07:00

How do u know how the little pea in the pod doing?

That's my concern... I'm all the time thinking if Jooni is doing OK esp. that jooni is so quiet so far,,,povrecito jooni :)

1386

2007-03-19T10:24:00.000-07:00

در اين سالي كه در پيش است
نمي دانم چه تقديري مرا فرموده اي،
ليكندر آغاز طلوع روشن سالي كه مي آيد
كمك كن تا رها سازم ز خودمن
كوله بار يك هزار و سيصد و افسوس
هزار و سيصد و اندوه
تو لبخند رضايت را عطايم كن
بفهمان زندگي زيباست
كريما، دستهاي گرم و لبخندي، عطايم كن
خداوندانمي دانم چه تقديري مرا فرموده اي
امابراي مردمان خوب اين وادي
عطا فرماهزار اميدهزار و سيصد آگاهي
هزار و سيصد و هشتاد بهروزي
هزار و سيصد و هشتاد وشش لبخند زيبا را

Maaaman Babaam... Khoone por az nooreh...

2007-02-16T14:30:00.000-08:00

Vaghti az rah miresi, vaghti dar ro baaz mikoni, too khooneh noor hast, seda hast, khoone hamisheh khali hala por az garmi va mohabateh.

Mohabati ke jaari misheh va adam roo too khodesh ye joori zoub mikoneh...
OOnjoori ke chizaee ke biroon montazretan digeh kheili barat mohem nistan..

Too damagham jashne..oon ham che jashni, basaat e soor va saat ...
Kheili sadeh ast ...roo ojagh por az ghablemeh haee ke atri midan ke ooo.. adam faghat mast nasheh, shans oovordeh

Vaghti forood miam roo mobl, dastam naz misheh , patoo room mindazan va aab az aab too delam tekoon nemikhoreh...

Khodaya hamisheh hamin joor bood?
OOn moghe ha ham ke man khoone boodam, iran boodam zendegi hamin bood?

Be cheshasoon ke negah mikonam, mibinam are hamoon adaman , chizi taghir nakardeh.... hamoon garmi , hamoon safa...

Va ein manam ke hamisheh mahroomam!!!

Manam ke har char sal ye bar ein garmi be soragham miad

Manam ke tazeh oonam ba 100 ta ena va anzalna giram miad...

Nemidoonam... man tanham ke ein hes ro daram ya baghieh adamai e dor az pedar madareshoon haminjoor poosteshoon ghelghelak misheh vaghti mibinaneshoon? :)

Sundance Reviews

2007-02-15T17:02:00.000-08:00

DISCLAIMER: THESE ARE NOT MY OPINION. I'M JUST RECITING A ROUND UP OF FILMS I RECEIVED IN CASE ANYONE WANTS TO READ IT.

THE FILMS:

PREMIERES:

CHICAGO TEN

I did not understand much of this movie but it was an intense and well-made one... the only problem for me personally was that I did not care for the subject matter that much...these are things that happen when u are foreigner 2 a country's hostiory!

Bret Morgen's Chicago 10 is an engaging and timely film that does a great job of combining historical footage and newly created rotoscoped animation into a seamless documentary/narrative that not only recounts an important event in American history, but reflects the emotionally charged atmosphere of the time. It looks at the events building up to the highly publicized protest of the 1968 Democratic Convention, and the following trial in which activists Abbie Hoffman, Jerry Rubin, Black Panther Bobby Seale, and 5 others were tried for inciting to riot. At the time, the nation was divided against the backdrop of the Vietnam war - and hippies and activists such as Hoffman organized public protests of the war itself, of capitalism, and for a change in the country's direction. Hoffman's offshoot of the hippie movement, known as the "Yippies," came to the media forefront with their protest at the Democratic Convention - the film gives a bit of history on the formation of the movement, and, more importantly, has a distinct point of view - it doesn't try to be a newscast or impartial documentary, and that's what I liked about it. Too many films today lack a clear direction and viewpoint, so kudos to Morgen for taking a stance. The film's timeliness is exemplified by Lyndon Johnson's announcing the troop escalation in Vietnam, and a number of other events which harken ever so close to the situation in Iraq today. While I would have liked to have seen this point driven home a bit more, the film stands on it's own, and was indeed one of the standouts of the festival.

SON OF RAMBOW
Got distribution!!!!!!

A truly delightful film written and directed by Garth Jennings (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy), Son of Rambow takes us on a nostalgic journey to the 80's as seen through the eyes Will, a young boy, constrained and sheltered by his strict Christian upbringing, who finds an unlikely friend with the school troublemaker Carter. Inspired by a copy of the film Rambo: First Blood - they each push their boundaries and tap into their creativity to go where only their dreams can lead them. Inspired, uplifting, and heartwarming, this film takes us back to the sense of joy, dreams, and unlimited possibility of youth, and at the same time reminds that all our dreams are possible if we simply reach for them. A tribute to Jennings' direction are the incredible performances delivered by the two young lead actors, Will Poulter and Bill Milner. Among the high proliferation of dark, edgy, and otherwise disturbing films that are usual festival fare, this film's joie de vivre was refreshing and wonderful, and a must see for anyone who likes to feel good.

GRACE IS GONE

Sad Sad SaD....don't forget tissues... After the movie feels like leaving a funeral!

Written and directed by Sundance veteran James C. Strouse, Grace is Gone is a poignant and touching film about a man's inability to deal with the death of his wife - or more accurately, his inability to tell his two daughters that their mother is gone, which results in a road trip to an amusement park with numerous stops at chain restaurants, malls, and any other detour that will forestall the inevitable. While it is pointed out that she lost her life on the battlefield in Iraq, this film is much less an anti-war statement than a character piece - and the characters are brought to life with John Cusack's moving portayal of Stanley, the father, whose great performance is even outshined by newcomer child actors Gracie Bednarczyk and Shelan O'Keefe who play the daughters Dawn and Heidi, respectively. Not only is this some of the most realistic writing of child roles I've seen in awhile, but the touching performances bring an even higher level of believability and sensitivity to the film. Not to be left out is Alessandro Nivola's standout performance as Stanley's loafing anti-war brother, who brilliantly offsets the drama of the film with his upbeat yet multi-dimensional performance. Strouse chose not to open the film with the typical and formulaic "happy family" setup - and I applaud his decision to think out of the box and create a more realistic and deeply dramatic scenario. From a writing standpoint, I would have liked to see a bit more or an arc for Stanley's character - some back and forth on whether to tell the girls, and a few obstacles and difficulties to propel him through his arc. Completely annoying was the way-too-obvious product placement with a close-up of every store sign they happened to drive past. Also to be noted (no pun intended) is the touching, articulate, and dramatically appropriate music score by composer Max Richter. It's no big surprise that this film won the Dramatic Audience Award and the Waldo Salt Screenwriting Award.

SNOW ANGELS

Writer/director David Gordon Green brings this small town drama to life with impeccably crafted dialogue and top notch performances that convey the warmth and cruelty, levity and pathos, and the fairness and injustices that pervade everyday life. The multi-faceted plot and characters ring true and are at once simple in their purpose but complex in their unfolding, as an origami. There are several stories here which are brilliantly connected. Sam Rockwell's superb and multi-dimensional performance as Glen, disconnected and separated from his wife Annie, who tries to find some semblance of meaning through their daughter Tara, and an interesting mix of religion and alcohol, gives an honest portrayal of his good intentions which are executed with poor judgement. His almost-happy-but-slightly awkward relationship with his daughter is exceptionally written, and is reflective of the many other complex but realistic relationships in the film. Kate Beckinsale gives a great performance as Annie, caring but overwhelmed with her life - and although I think she may have been slightly miscast in this role (just too beautiful to be completely believable as the wife of goofball Glen in this small town setting) - she brings a high level of depth to her character. The story of Glen and Annie is intertwined with Annie's affair with Nate (dynamic performance by Nicky Katt), the slightly simple-minded husband of one of Annie's co-workers (heartfelt performance by Amy Sedaris). Subplots emerge with angst-ridden teen Arthur (Michael Angarano), who fantasizes about Annie, who is flattered by the attention and slightly flirts with the idea of a fling with him; but the decision to leave this completely unresolved was brilliant - just as in real life there are so many possibilities (romantically and otherwise) that don't end some tragic definitive fate, but hang as possibilities that just haven't happened yet, and were simply never followed up on. Realism to the nth degree. The young-love subplot between Arthur and awkward-but-cute schoolmate Lila (wonderfully played by the adorable Olivia Thirlby), while a bit underdeveloped, still has you rooting for them, and gives you that much wanted warm fuzzy feeling. Further subplots between the parents of several of the characters add the little touches that give the characters depth and humanity. It's truly refreshing to see writing where all the subplots and stories actually tie in and relate on a deep level, and it's this very quality that gives this film the high level of emotional impact that makes it one of the true standouts of the Sundance festival.

JOSHUA

If you like Omen, wtach this!

Directed and co-written by George Ratliff, Joshua is a film that gets outside of the box and transcends genres. It is the story of an upwardly mobile New York family, their newborn daughter, and their son, Joshua. Joshua is a child prodigy who happens to be jealous of the newborn daughter, and of course decides to use his intelligence for evil, doing bad things to his little sister and purposely sending his mother into a maniacal post-partem depression, and doing everything in his power to break up their happy little family. Hauntingly played by Jacob Kogan, Joshua is a hybrid of Damian from the Omen and the Bad Seed - a blazer and tie wearing, maladjusted, emotionally stiff child…with a cold, calculating demeanor, and a complete disregard for, uhm, human life. The script's brilliance lies in its ability to continuously cross the thriller/dark comedy line - you're laughing out loud one moment, and feeling shivers up your spine the next. This is no easy feat to accomplish, and the exceptional dialogue in this film has a lot to do with it. Sam Rockwell gives his usual great performance as the loving but suspicious father, and Vera Farmiga unfortunately give a very one-dimensional, overwrought performance, and while the script didn't give her much else to work with, that seems to be her only mode in her other film at Sundance (Never Forever) as well. The choice to keep the scenes mostly during daylight bring home the fact that terror doesn't have to exist only in the darkness of night, which makes it all the more frightening, and this was a superb decision on Ratliff's part. The weak points of the film were that Sam Rockwell's character seemed to change motivation on a dime, suddenly going from caring father to openly hostile without any real basis, and also Vera Farmiga's completely underdeveloped character and one-dimensional performance. The twist at the end could have been set up and emphasized a bit better as well. Luckily, the film's fresh outlook, incredible dialogue, and genre-bending viewpoint made this an extremely enjoyable watch - a must see for fans of psychological thrillers, horror, dark comedy, or anyone with an extreme dislike of little baby sisters.

NEVER FOREVER

Written and Directed by Gina Kim, this film had an interesting plot line that was rich with possibility: Sophie's ideal life being the perfect wife for her successful Korean husband is in jeopardy when he is unable to get her pregnant - so she secretly initiates a series of encounters with an illegal immigrant that has all the physical features of her husband - so she can get pregnant and have her husband believe it is his, and therefore save their marriage. All goes along as planned, until the arrangement begins to unravel and threatens to destroy the very relationship she was trying to save. While this scenario is rich with possibility, the execution was so one dimensional and lacking in any sort of emotional engagement that I could barely make it through the film. Sophie was played by Vera Farmiga, who had one tone throughout the entire film - tortured. Okay, in all fairness, she actually had three tones - from tortured, to morose, and back to tortured again, with a slight stop at sullen. The film seemed to be one long scene of Sophie looking tortured and angst-ridden after another. There was no emotional connection to her character whatsoever, or any of the other characters, for that matter. Her character was disconnected from both her husband and her immigrant lover, who were also both disconnected. While we are repeatedly told on a very surface level that Sophie and her husband Andrew (played by David McInnis) have the "perfect life," we're not only never shown this, but we're shown the exact opposite on a continual basis - that they're completely disconnected and unhappy, so it's impossible to believe this wonderful scenario that we keep being told is the case. McInnis does a good job with his extremely limited role, and the standout of the film is Ha Jung-Woo, who plays Jihah, the illegal immigrant. With regard to the costume design, the bizarre choice to put Sophie in antiquated ruffled and ribboned outfits made her look more like a 19th century schoolteacher than any sort of "perfect wife" - at least not a perfect wife from this century. I think the reason I liked the love scenes in this movie was not so much that you get to see naked beautiful bodies doing a beautiful thing, but more because it was a break from having to look at Farminga's ridiculous costuming. But come to think of it, the sex scenes all had a tortured, disconnected, and dispassionate vibe to them, making them unenjoyable to watch as well. As to the music score, composer Michael Nyman's usually brilliant work in films like "The Piano" make me really wonder if he actually wrote the frequently off-the-mark, dramatically inappropriate music for this film. It actually hurts me to give this negative of a review, but there truly was very little I actually liked about this film. In the film's defense, however, I heard there were a number of people who actually did like it - so if you like emotionally disconnected one-toned films with a bad score and worse costume design, then you should rush out and see this one right away.

ROCKET SCIENCE

Written and directed by Jeffrey Blitz, this was also one of the gems of the festival, and garnered the Sundance Dramatic Directing Award. While on the surface, this is one of the typical "maladjusted teen with limited social skills come of age" type of films, its clever dialogue, great casting, and large amounts of heart make it a very enjoyable watch. Reece Thompson plays the shy, stuttering Hal Hefner, is likeable and believable, and has good screen chemistry with his unlikely love interest Ginny Ryerson (adorably played by Anna Kendrick), who recruits him to be her partner on the debate team, even though he has a major stuttering problem. There are lots of great little moments, including the parents whose couples' therapy consists of playing a hilarious version of a Violent Femmes song on a cello and piano. Definitely worth the watch, Rocket Science is scheduled be released by Picturehouse on August 10th.

PADRE NUESTRO

Directed by Christopher Zalla, Padre Nuestro was the winner of the Dramatic Grand Jury Prize. As usual, my tastes seem to run quite a bit different than the Jury members at Sundance - while the film had some good performances, and an interesting scenario, and was well directed - the script fell quite a bit flat for me. Not a character arc to be found, no "set up and payoffs" - none of the details that make for tight writing, or a truly emotionally engaging script. The story centers around Pedro (Jorge Adrian Espindola), who illegally crosses the border from Mexico to find his father Diego in New York - only to have his belongings, and identity, stolen by his new "friend" Juan (Armando Hernandez). While Pedro is lost and wandering the streets of New York, Juan then searches out Diego and poses as Pedro to attempt to steal supposed riches. In Spanish and English, this film had one of the worst subtitling jobs I have seen, leaving out huge gaps of dialogue. While all three leads were completely believable in their roles (with the standout being Jesus Ochoa as Diego the father), this film could have been a true standout if as much attention had been paid to the character development as other aspects of the directing, art direction, and cinematography. Kudos also to Paola Mendoza in her role as Magda.

ADRIFT IN MANHATTAN

Directed and co-written by Alfredo de Villa, Adrift in Manhattan interweaves three stories about adapting to loss, kinship, and reliance on others, with a well-shot New York City as the backdrop. The stories center around Rose (Heather Graham, in a type of role we haven't seen her in before), an optometrist dealing with the pain of losing a child and her inability to relate to her estranged husband; and Simon (Victor Rasuk), a withdrawn teenager with a more than slightly unnerving relationship with his obsessive mother that borders on incest, whose creative outlet seems to be stalking Rose and surreptitiously photographing her; and Tommaso (wonderfully played by Dominic Chianese), an aging artist who is going blind, but hopefully can win the affections of his somewhat younger co-worker Isabel (heartfelt performance by Elizabeth Pena). For my tastes, the Tommaso/Isabel storyline had the most engaging characters, but unfortunately the least amount of screen time. As with any "multiple storyline" films such as Adrift, I like to see a level of interactivity between the stories - where the actions in one story have ramifications and effect in the other(s), which makes for truly tight, cohesive writing. While de Villa did a nice job of setting that scenario up, I would have liked to see it kicked up one more notch. That aside, if you're into the dark/angst/tormented fare that is typical of most film festivals, this could be the film for you.

TEETH

Directed by Mitchell Lichtenstein, Teeth is about a teenage girl who just happens to have teeth in her private parts (aka the "Vagina Dentata" myth). Not sure what to say after that, other than the film relies on the obvious shock value to make its point with overly lengthy shots that show the outcome of her vengeful actions that would leave even the heartiest of males cringing. And while I'll admit there is more intelligence to the writing here than the Troma-esque film that I was expecting, without the aforementioned "obvious shock value" this would be a mediocre film at best. Whether the "OSV" takes it down the drain, or makes it the hilarious and empowering social statement of the decade, I'll leave up to you. Audiences were highly polarized on this film, as might be expected. The main character (wonderfully played by Jess Wexler, who received the Jury Prize for Acting) goes through a somewhat predictable arc - starting as a prim, proper, and pure high school girl that is one of the leaders of her "chastity group" that has pledged to remain virgins until marriage, and then changing from the sexual victim to the sexual avenger, as she learns and soon becomes accustomed to the fact that she now needs a dentist where the rest of don't. I guess this brings a whole new use for the "floss bikini"…

DOCUMENTARY COMPETITION:EVERYTHING'S COOL

irected by Daniel B. Gold and Judith Helfand, Everything's Cool could be described as a kind of Michael Moore meets Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth. Upbeat and whimsical at times, but with a dead serious message - we're all in deep doodoo if we don't address the issue of Global Warming soon. While an Inconvenient Truth uses hard hitting facts to make it's point, Everything's Cool attempts to connect with the people who couldn't relate to the earnestness of Al Gore's approach by the use of humor, colorful animation, and zany characters. It makes it point well, and indeed serves it's purpose - while the folks who are a fan of AIT might not take this film seriously, that's okay, because they've got Al Gore's earnestness to win them over. This film serves its purpose precisely because it will relate to all the people that Al can't reach. And if you're still not even slightly concerned about Global Warming after watching both of these films, well then I guess you think everything's cool.

PROTAGONIST

Written and directed by Jessica Wu, Protagonist started off as a documentary on Euripides and classic dramatic structure, but ultimately became the chronicling of the sagas four real life contemporary men, and the parallels of their journeys to Euripedes' principles and ideas. Entertaining and visually fascinating, Progatonist makes use of puppetry to re-enact scenes from Euripides plays - that also reflects the lives of her subjects - a bold approach that is both timeless and refreshing. Making reference to all the ways in which we are surrounded by story, Wu makes use of everything from home movies, drawings, flip-book animations, and the passages from the Bible that not only bring the classic traditions of the past into the present, but show the timelessness of the plights and ultimate redemption of the four modern day men. I had no idea what to expect when walking into this movie, but by the time I walked out, I was thoroughly entertained, engaged, and even learned a thing or two about classic story structure, not to mention being a new fan of up and coming filmmaker Jessica Wu.

MANDA BALA (SEND A BULLET)

Directed by Jason Kohn, Manda Bala explores the less glamorous side of Brazil - not the beaches, Carnivale, or samba dancers, but political corruption, kidnapping, and the side industries which they spawn - which have literally changed the face of the nation in recent years. Opening with a frog farm used as a front for money laundering, the film starts at the bizarre and paints an offbeat, but never trivialized, picture of the state of affairs in Brazil. One of the central figures in the film is Jader Barbalho, a corrupt tycoon who has used his political positions to evade prosecution for embezzlement and money laundering. Kohn also interviews both kidnappers and kidnapees in examination of the thriving kidnapping trade, which seems to have spawned a number of side industries including a plastic surgeon whose specialty is reconstructing ears that have been sliced off, bullet-proof automobiles, and private helicopters which seem to have become standard issue for wealthy Brazilians. The prevailing system seems to be that of the rich stealing from the poor and then the poor steal back from the rich, in a continuous cycle. A big kudos to the filmmakers, who literally put their lives on the line to make this film, and received death threats if the identities of some of their interviewees are revealed.

OTHER FILMS - OUT OF COMPETITION:YEAR OF THE FISH

Writer/director David Kaplan has put together a fresh take on an old Chinese folktale (more commonly known as "Cinderella" to western audiences), set against the backdrop of a massage parlor in New York's Chinatown. Ye Xian, the "Cinderella" of this story (a heartfelt performance by newcomer An Nguyen, who already has several more films in the works), is sent by her father to America to work in a massage parlor run by the cruel Ms. Su, the "wicked stepmother" character (brilliant performance from Asian star Tsai Chin of Memoirs of a Geisha, The Joy Luck Club, etc.). Being strong of spirit and unwilling to resort to prostitution to pay off her debts, she is forced to perform all the cleaning, cooking, and other menial labor. Corrine Wu's performance as the "not-so-evil stepsister" is noteworthy as well, adeptly traversing the range from evil to compassionate, as she ultimately comes to the aid of Ye Xian. I expect we'll be seeing a lot more of Wu's work in the near future. Hettienne Park plays the evil stepsister to the hilt - you love to hate her. Randall Duk Kim (Memoirs of a Geisha) plays several roles in the film, including the mysterious Auntie Yaga, who introduces Ye Xian to her Fairy Godmother, in the form of a goldfish, and Ken Leung provides a handsome and likeable "Prince Charming" character in this tale.Kaplan has made very tasteful use of rotoscoped animation (animating over live action film) - using a new technology has not only allowed him to complete the film in a fraction of the time (and at a fraction of the cost), but more importantly gave him more creative control over the final effect. Sometimes rotoscoping can be highly stylized, but Kaplan made a great choice to use a more subtle effect, which allowed more details of the actors' actual performances to come through - I believe ultimately this made for a more emotionally engaging film.Kudos also to a wonderful music score from composer Paul Cantelon - I was humming the themes in my head throughout the rest of the festival.From a writing standpoint, the well-defined characters and tightly knit structure kept you engaged from start to finish. While the Ye Xian character was strong in that she preserved her spirit by not allowing herself to be subjugated into prostitution, I would have liked to see her take a more active role in freeing herself, rather than passively awaiting her Prince Charming. Also, once Johnny (the Prince Charming character) finds Ye Xian, I would liked to have seen a bit more dramatic tension, and push and pull, such as "I've found her, but now I can't have her," etc. Kaplan had actually set this up beautifully, when Johnny found Ye Xian, only to learn (mistakenly) that she was a prostitute. Instead of simply loving her anyway and riding off into the sunset, much more drama could have been added by him going away based on thinking she was a prostitute, and Ye Xian's character could then have become active, rather than passive, in finding him again and making things right. As it was, it all resolved a bit too quickly and easily for my tastes.Even with my nit-picking, this was a well done film that is sure to win your heart, as will the talented cast.

SMILEY FACE

Written by Dylan Haggerty and directed by Gregg Araki, Smiley Face is one of those films that you just can't help but like. Anna Faris turns in an absolutely hysterical performance as the loveable, if not misguided, Jane - who also happens to be quite the pothead. One thing leads to another, and what should have been a relatively simple day of going to an audition spins wildly out of control, with a series of madcap adventures that get her from point A, stoned at 9:17am, to point Z, sitting on a ferris wheel having a conversation with a disembodied voice about corn chips and orange juice, while about to be arrested for stealing a highly valuable and rare historical document. While on one level this film could have been a brainless sort of a one-joke-wonder: "I'm a pothead and therefore I'm slightly clueless and say and do one stupid thing after another" - Faris' uncanny ability to add novelty to each variation makes this film ultimately a wonderful, fun, zany ride in the day of your not-so-average pothead. The writing is adequate, but it's truly Faris' top notch performance that saves this film from being a campy collection of repetitive stoner jokes relegated to B level obscurity, as she makes every scene a treat to watch. As mentioned in the Sundance guide, "Araki deftly pokes fun at pot culture while affectionately embracing it" - and one thing is for sure, that pot smokers and non-smokers alike will laugh their funnybone off during this film.

WAITRESS

It is a tragedy and true loss to the filmmaking community that writer/director/actress Adrienne Shelly was not here to witness the praise and success of her film Waitress - she was tragically murdered last November, even before hearing that the film was accepted to Sundance, or that it has since been picked up by Fox Searchlight. The film's broad appeal is due to the smart, tight writing of the script, which makes you laugh as well as feel for all the characters in the story, as well as heartwarming and believable performances from a top-notch cast. The beautiful Keri Russell stars as Jenna, a waitress who can't stand her jerk-of-a-husband Earl, doesn't want his baby (that she just happens to be pregnant with), and simply wants to make pies at the diner where she works. She happens to have a great talent for making pies, and an even greater talent for coming up with interesting names for them, such as "I Hate My Husband Pie," "I Don't Want Earl's Baby Pie," and a number of other names that, while they give you no clue as to the ingredients, certainly clue you in to the frame of mind of the baker. Jenna's regular pre-natal doctor is replaced by the handsome but insecure - and also married - Dr. Pommater (Nathan Fillion), whose charm, intelligence, kindness, and success is a welcomed change from Earl's stupidity, selfishness and overall jerkhood. Without giving away too much of the plot, let's just say that the jerk becomes an even bigger jerk, gets dumped, and something wonderful happens regarding the pies. The supporting roles were all wonderfully cast with great and endearing performances from Jeremy Sisto, who plays a delightfully idiotic Earl, Andy Griffith as the old, wise, kind, and sex-crazed owner of the diner, Cheryl Hines as the sexy co-worker, Eddie Jamieson as Ogie, the awkward suitor of Dawn's affections, and last but certainly not least Adrienne Shelly, as lovable as ever in her role as Dawn.This film is fun, funny, and quirky, yet touching and endearing, and has all the qualities necessary for a breakout film and big success at the box office. How wonderful it would have been for Adrienne Shelly if this had been her launching pad instead of her legacy, although a fine legacy it is.

BUGMASTER

Adapted from Yuki Urushibara's well known graphic novel (or "manga") Bugmaster (aka Mushishi), this film is poetic and beautifully shot (in Japanese with English subtitles), and tells the story of Ginko (Jo Odagiri), the healer who expertly manipulates bugs (mushi), small creatures which effect, both negatively and positively, life and its essence - they are "the phantom soul of nature breathing inside every living thing…and the dead." Ginko meanders the Japanese countryside (as does the plotline), and encounters various people with ailments that he is able to diagnose and cure with the appropriate use of various bugs - it would have been great to tie these various stories together, or tie them into the ultimate resolution between Ginko and Tokoyami, but instead they are unconnected and many subplots seem to be left hanging. While the overall feel of the picture is a wonderful combination of magical and mystical, and dark and menacing - the film is hampered by the fact that the over-complicated and frequently rambling plot is difficult to follow, and further exaggerated by having to read the subtitles - in other words, you really have to pay attention to understand what the heck is going on. The CGI, however, is top notch - the effects are subtle and tasteful, rather than over the top - i.e., they support the story, rather than vying to be the center of attention. The music score is interesting and compelling, and makes featured use of the didgeridoo - musical purists may wonder what an aboriginal Australian instrument is doing in a turn of the century Japanese story, but for me, the haunting sound it creates was apropos to the dramatic feel nonetheless - I'm more of an absolutist: if it works, it works. Even with the film's shortcomings, if you're a fan of manga, fantasy, or beautiful filmmaking, this film is definitely worth a watch.

SLIPSTREAM

Written and directed by the revered Anthony Hopkins, Slipstream is, well, one whackjob of a movie - and I mean that in the best possible sense. By his own confession, Hopkins' intent was to "break every rule of conventional filmmaking." Using top-notch production and post production personnel, as well as some of the most talented actors in the biz, what Hopkins has created is an experimental film of the highest order; however, without the extra bit of "oomph" from said top talent, this could have easily become no more than something akin to what a film student might have created as an experimental class project, and a bad one at that. But having a cast full of actors such as John Turturro, Michael Clarke Duncan, Christian Slater, Camryn Manheim, Jeffrey Tambor, Kevin McCarthy, and of course Anthony Hopkins, not to mention technical talent such as cinematographer Dante Spinotti (X-Men 3, L.A. Confidential, etc.) certainly has its advantages. Using (or over-using) numerous editing and other devices such as frequent jump cuts, quick reverse/forward transitions, small repeated snippets, etc., Hopkins' intent was to portray a dream state - to see a story in the non-linear timeframe of a dream, complete with non-sensical transitions, non-sequiturs and just plain random events. In that sense, he succeeded tremendously. The film is at once the story of a screenwriter who is losing his mind, and at the same time a movie about the making of the movie where the reality and the meta-reality co-exist and collide all at the same time. While I don't see much in the way of a theatrical run, this film may indeed develop a significant cult following on DVD, judging from the hugely positive audience response (especially if they include some significant additional content, and the much needed director's commentary). Run of the mill? Definitely not. Self indulgent? Maybe. Breaks all the rules? Definitely yes. I'm still not sure, but I think I actually liked this movie, but I couldn't begin to tell you why.MISS NAVAJODirected by Billy Luther, whose own mother was crowned Miss Navajo Nation in 1966, this film gives insight into the Navajo culture, and the high level of prestige and responsibility associated with being crowned Miss Navajo, but even more so the hard work, determination, and perseverance required to even be in the running. The pageant's focus is on honoring and strengthening the Navajo culture and internal beauty, rather than focusing on more superficial qualities such as swimsuit competitions or even talent. As the winner will become an ambassador for the entire Navajo nation as well as a role model for other young Navajos, the young women are required to have a degree of fluency in the Navajo language (in danger of dying out), as well as significant and detailed knowledge of Navajo history, culture, and religion, and even practical knowledge such as being able to single handedly butcher and prepare an entire sheep - definitely something you won't see in the Miss USA pageant! While a bit slow in pace, the sincere and heartfelt delivery makes this an enjoyable watch for anyone interested in learning about the Navajo culture.

DARK MATTER

As the winner of the Alfred P. Sloan Award, I had tickets to see this film on the final day of the festival, and was quite dismayed that Sundance had cancelled the screening simply because it was also part of a regular public screening at the tiny little theater at the Sundance Resort, close to an hour's drive away from the main festival in Park City. I can't for the life of me see the purpose of shortchanging all the people who worked so hard on this film for such a completely non-relevant reason. Having heard absolutely rave reviews from numerous people, I was quite looking forward to seeing it - so even though I'm not able to write a review, I thought I'd help make up for the lack of respect Sundance showed this film, and let you all know that, judging from the overwhelming response I heard, it's definitely worth a watch.

SHORTS:THE FIGHTING CHOLITAS

This short, directed by Mariam Jobrani, was given an Honorable Mention by the Sundance Shorts Jury and tells the tale of a group of Bolivian women who push the limits of their culture by performing acrobatic wresting stunts in full cultural dress for sold out audiences every week. Well told story, nicely shot and edited. I'll also add that I had the pleasure of eating dinner at La Casitas at the table next to the filmmakers one evening, who were some of the most fun, friendly, and lively people I've met - I lost count of how many tequila shots passed from their table to ours, and to the rest of the restaurant… :)ANIMATION SPOTLIGHTThis collection of animated shorts ran the gamut in terms of both animation styles, and storytelling ability:One Rat Short - top notch professional level 3D animation, and a well told, tender but surreal love story between two rats. Directed by Alex Weil.Duct Tape and Cover - I believe this used the original (but craftily edited) audio from the US government's ludicrous safety campaign from the fifties "Duck and Cover" (in the event of a nuclear attack, simply hide under your desk!) in a satire about what Homeland Security would have us do in a current state of emergency. Funny idea, but very run of the mill animation and illustration - I suppose they were going for a retro look. Directed by Yong-Jin Park.Phantom Canyon - A young woman randomly wanders around and encounters strange creatures - not much here in the way of interesting storyline, but some interesting animation. Directed by Stacey Steers.Destiny Manifesto - Apparently this was an exploration of the visual and psychological parallels between the American western frontier and the conflict in the Middle East, but I don't think I would have figured that out without having read it in the program - using a "Monty Python" style of animated oil paintings and several other animation techniques, director Martha Colburn created a unique look for this film. I found the music score to be inappropriate and almost annoying.Paulina Hollers - Very unique and interesting animation style, going back and forth from animated wood carvings to hand drawn animation. Directed by Brent Green.Dreams and Desires-Family Ties - About a woman who becomes overly obsessed with her new digital video camera, but not much of an interesting story. Animation was purposely sloppy, but nicely stylized. Directed by Joanna Quinn.Everything Will Be OK - Light in tone, with fun, sarcastic, goofy humor, the voice-over is the star of this film - for a short in the animation spotlight, however, the animation was crude, minimalistic, and completely uninteresting at best. Close your eyes, and just listen, and you'll be entertained by this piece. Directed by Don Hertzfeldt.SHORTS PROGRAM 2Overall, I was sorely disappointed with the quality of filmmaking in this collection of shorts. As I mentioned in last year's roundup: "For my tastes, there are no excuses just because a film is a short film – it still needs a beginning, middle, and end – the characters still need to go through some type of arc, or at least there needs to be a point. Pretty much all the films in this collection failed on that end (as do sooooo many other short films in general), which is too bad, because some of them did a very good job at either creating a unique and interesting palette of characters or an interesting world. A great start - now do something with it! Just my thoughts.Dad - if you like the visual of long, extended shots of gratuitously naked geriatrics dancing, this one will knock your socks off. There was almost a character arc for the son, but it was rather forced with no real impetus driving him to his resolution. Thumbs down. Directed by Daniel Mulloy.Magnetic Poles - Supposedly this is the story of a girl in a bad relationship who finally has had enough. The relationship is implausible, as the boyfriend has no redeeming qualities whatsoever to qualify that any girl would even be with him to begin with, and rather than a character arc or story, we just see one example after another of the boyfriend continuing to be the same jerk, and her continuing to put up with it, until the end, when she finally leaves. The opening scene where a cockroach crawls up her nose was certainly a unique device, but I didn't really see its relevance to the story. There were, however, gratuitous naked scenes for your viewing enjoyment. Thumbs down. Directed by Maria Rosenbum.Doorman - This short explores the line between perpetrator and victim in a story dealing with a homosexual affair between a doorman and tenant in a NY apartment building. This one comes closer to hitting the mark, and has some powerfully emotional moments, but no real resolution or arcs make it slip a few notches. Again, plenty of gratuitous nakedness, which still does not make up for holes in the writing. Notably good performance from the lead actor, however.Death to the Tinman - This short truly stood out among this collection, and actually won an Honorable Mention from the Sundance Short Jury. Director Ray Tintori took the original story of "The Tin Woodsman of Oz" and completely tweaked it, making it entirely funny, yet still tragic. Goofy fun, with a good music score.Graceland - About an Elvis impersonator who travels the countryside from Bangkok with an impersonator of another type - this film seemed to have no point whatsoever. Directed by Anocha Suwichakornpong.Happiness - with an underlying sadness, this film explores the line between what we think will make us happy, and what will actually make us happy, and what we're willing to do to achieve it. This film makes a nice point at the end, but if it weren't for a few nice moments in the middle, this film could almost be one of those "ten-minute-setup for-a-single-punchline" type of shorts, which also fall short (no pun intended), in my opinion. Directed by Sophie Barthes.SHORTS PROGRAM 5This collection of shorts was far and away better than Shorts Program 2, but still apparent (but to a significantly lesser degree) was the recurring theme of incomplete writing, underdeveloped ideas, or lack or character development. There is a distinct difference between shooting a "scene" as something to put on your demo reel, and creating an actual "Short Film" - a scene or demo doesn't require character development, arcs, or resolutions, but once you call something a "film," you really should consider having something at least resembling a completely developed idea.Family Reunion - A New York Lesbian has trouble coming out to her family - no real arcs or resolution here, and no obstacles or revelations that add anything new to this overly re-hashed theme, which stopped being edgy for it's own sake a long time ago. Good performances from the actors made this bearable to watch. Directed by Isold Uggadottir.Der Ostwind - A German World War I flying ace accepts a challenge from a mysterious American pilot, possibly at the cost of his life - and learns something about himself, and the true meaning of honor. Top notch writing - at last! A unique and interesting story, complete with character arcs and a resolution - yes it can be done, even in only 11 minutes. Add to this incredible and top notch effects and animation, and solid performances. This is everything a short film should be, and then some. Kudos to director Kohl Glass.Conversion - This film explores (on a very surface level) the effect that Missions have on Navajo tribe life, when a little Navajo girl finds a picture of Jesus. Great production value, but rather lacking in story and development. Directed by Nanobah Becker.The Oates' Valor - A piece about personal pride and forgiveness between a father and son. A fair directing job by Tim Cahill makes this quite watchable, but not quite outstanding.

Zarin - Wonderfully shot - if the writing were nearly as stunningly beautiful as the cinematography in this short, this would be an incredible film. About an Iranian prostitute seeking to escape her life, the plot, character development, and resolution are virtually non-existent. Lots of overly long, drawn out scenes - this film could have accomplished in two minutes what it did in twenty. Directed by Shirin Neshat.Salt Kiss - this Brazilian film (in Portuguese with English subtitles) is an engaging, funny, dramatic, and at times subtle film with a heart. The storyline centers around the carefree Rogerio, who attempts to bring his recently engage best friend back to the single life. Based on real people, the person who played Rogerio was not an actor, but the actual person - no wonder his performance was so believable (and entertaining!). The ending fell a little short, but a worthwhile watch nonetheless. Directed by Fellipe Gamarano Barbosa.Songbird - aptly screened before the feature Teeth, this film is a different sort of short, about an overbearing husband, wifely revenge (Janet Chiarabaglio as the wife), and very strange eating habits. Very original and stylized production values, and a unique story make this worth a watch - maybe not during mealtime, however.

Valentine

2007-02-15T16:58:00.000-08:00

Az oon rooza bood ke be kheili ha fekr kardam va delam vase kheilia tang shod...dast be ghalam bordam va oomad...vay ke cheghad Farsi khoobe chon hamishe toosh asoon chiza meiad va sari minevisam... baray e har kalameh ham mooham ro nemikanam....

Va az oon 50 ta email shayad ye 10-12 ta javab oomad vali hamoonaee ke oomad made my day... baazi vaghta adam fekr mikone ke ghalbe arzesh tapidan dare

Sundance 07 Sales

2007-01-29T15:47:00.000-08:00

Big sellers

— “Crazy Love,” Magnolia.

— “Grace Is Gone,” Weinsteins.

— “King of California,” First Look.

— “La Misma Luna,” Fox Searchlight/Weinsteins.

— “Teeth,” Lions Gate/Weinsteins.

— “Dedication,” First Look/Weinsteins.

— “Joshua,” Fox Searchlight.

— “In the Shadow of the Moon,” THINKFilm.

— “My Kid Could Paint That,” Sony Classics (with A&E keeping some TV rights).

— “The King of Kong,” Picturehouse.

— “The Signal,” Magnolia.

— “Over the GW,” Seventh Art.

— “Son of Rambow,” Paramount Vantage.

— “Waitress,” Fox Searchlight.

— “How She Move,” Paramount Vantage.

— “Weapons,” After Dark Films.

Oscar time!

2006-11-17T12:39:00.000-08:00

Khepel Joonam namir baabaa!

2006-11-17T12:26:00.000-08:00

Maahi e khepele azizam dare marg baazi mikone...
Marg baazi ye baazi e khatarnaki e ke e maahi nazi ke kheili ham azize he aday e mordan dar meiare
Va
Sahebesh ham ke e khar e ashegh e
Dastmal be dast
Abghoore mirize oon ham koja?!

Saaf too acquarium!

Angel Heart

2006-11-16T15:30:00.000-08:00

A fantastic movie...actually my type of movie...

Opening scene... cats and dogs fight from a distance in a creepy alley.. it's cold, steam rising from sewage, night, snow everywhere... the animals find the corpse of a man that blood has covereed his face..So it totally make us pose the question- who is this guy? Why is he dead? Who killed him? It provokes our curiosity 2 go further.

It starts off with Mr. Angel who seems to be a rather clumsy, mediocre detective... chewing gum, walking, it's a cold place...

Phone rings..an old phone... Angel in his messy office...He talks on the phone... jots down some notes and open his drawer...we see that he has a gun....He finishes his talk saying asshole 2 the phone- We get to know his name through this phone conversation.. writes down some foreign name

We see him walking down the same street again..some black lady having some trouble.. they talk about Lucifer kingdom...He comes across a group with what seems 2 be a motivational speaker

It is a church like place where he meets another formal guy(6) and he takes him inside... we see a hand with a cane... it's his client.. they are intriduced..Client checks his gun permit. We see a glimpse of an old fan in the cold weather

Angel: How did u know about me? 7:44 Just through the phone book?

They ask him if he knows a person called Johny Favorite

Deniro drinks sth and plays with his cane....we see his nails... long and polished

Page 10- We know that he is set to find sb for the client!

11-12 Finds a clue in a hospital..
12-Finds the name he hears in hospital in a phone back and goes 2 the place... dark, derserted and cold.... breaks the lock of an old bldgfull of hanging clothes like military ones...
We get more data visually about the person he's searching for like he's used 2 morphine..
16- old guy comes home...more info about who Micky searches for

Again a fan starts working ... when he puts the old guy in room we see the shadow of the fan...

10-20 His first round of efforts 2 find the guy in 2 locations

Micky goes by and passes by a church when 2 black num girls are reading Bible but a mirage like thing... I love the symbolics

22- In a diner...coffee, cigars and old key that belongs 2 the the door of Dr house
He's sitting in a diner, thinking plays with the keys

23- Grabs a amorphine and goes back 2 Dr 2 find he's dead holding the pic of a woman..Bible beside him... Micky makes it look like a suicide

25- Day- st- meets a girl who seems 2 know bried=f and then enters a place whree again we see one of those fans working.... He fills D with info...we see Robert's nails that plays with the egg and then what he says about eating soul - he has a ring with star on it... Micky wants be out as he is a murder suspect but then End of First Act

And BORAT fever!!!

2006-11-03T13:53:00.000-08:00

And Borat fever is everywhere in LA!

Halloween the most exciting char was Borat... All sorts and shapes... And these 3 Borateers I have no idea how they had found the perfect Boratish one-piece swim suit!!!!:)

Finally Io y Nachos libres!!!!

2006-11-03T13:49:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Parissa for taking the wonderul pic!! :)

Me and Persian Businesses in LAbad!

2006-10-30T20:24:00.000-08:00

Persian culture has never ceased to surprise me. Ever since I came to Los Angeles, the number of such cases has increased exponentially!!! And so has been the fun of ever increasing shock!

When I first came to Los Angeles, I learned that Iranians are an integral part of the business in the society. Any normal person would think:” Oh wonderful! I'm sure people of my land are more sympathetic, as we experience the same feelings in exile. “

Alas I was so damned wrong! I don’t want to bore you by going through the details of my unfortunate events with Iranian-based businesses, so I confine myself to the world of beautification. If you a re a psychologist or anthropologist or any one with some psycho analysis background, perhaps you can give me your take on as why is this the case with our genes.

Be a female on the surface of the earth and your first and foremost concern is to look reasonably good. And that “reasonable” is so relative that no measure can be defined for it. So, after landing at Los Angeles and more specifically getting setteled at startling downtown Los Angeles near USC, I realized that my surroundings is a hybrid of Mexican and African Americans which for me would be kind of hard to follow their hair style and tastes. So, my logical next move seemed to get on the bus, take a 2 hour ride thanks to the unbelievable ineffeicient public transportaion and end up in Westwood:The empire of numerous Persian hairdressers.

With a student budget, freshly off the boat, the colorful labrynth of which salon to choose sounded daunting. I decided to shop around, so almost paved the Westwood Persian Quarter with my little steps, asking for prices of their services.

Some were so customer friendly that was simply unbelievable and to my immature heart, it was really heart warming. Almost all wanted to make me blonde. My dark complexion was screaming: "Don’t turn yourself into a puppet doll!" So, to listen to my inner voice, I went with some Hairdresser lady who thougt my being loyal to natural brown color is not that boring. This happened to be same choice as God as I was born with naturally brown hair!

Without going into details, in my third visit I got enough courage to let her touch my eyebrows. I was invited to a relative's house same day in Westwood and it kind of sounded inevitable to look good. The Hairdresseer lady said that she’d dye my eyebrows first and then pluck them. I nodded as to me it sounded like chicken and egg, had no idea which came first. Plus she was a professional so simply I trusted her. Afterall, playing with a tweezer at my leasure was not that much of a rocket science, I just preferred to pay a professional and be safe.

When she was done, I felt that I look wierd and asked her if I look allright. She reassured me that all was fine.

So, happy bird comes out and as I was waiting for my better half to join at the corner of the street, I happened to meet myself in a window shop and guess what? There was a girl with strange stuff around her eyebrows. It was dusk time so was not real sure why is this the case. But I did not have to wonder any more as the look in my hubby’s eyes was more than enough: “What happened? Your eyebrows are all bruised up”.

I returned to her right away just to hear that I am very nazok narenji and it will go away. Again she was the professional and such people you trust, isn’t that true?

Next morning I woke up to see a girl with horrible scars on her eyebrows. Besides looking aweful, it sounded swollen and terribly painful.

My next meaningful move to save my visage was to run screaming to the USC student health center. Doctor told me that she has used too much of some chemicals and it has aggravated the sensitive tissue around my eyes and it is an obvious malpractice if I want to pursue it further!

Talking to my pals and other beauty experts later I learned you never dye and pluck eyebrows rather the vice versa and that it’s a basic role that everyone know! Obviously except me and that hairdresser lady!

I called her to let her know what happened. And my God, the friendly lady now turned into a real monster, denying that she did anything wrong and that all was alright. I wonder how she could judge about my bandaged eyebrows through the phone! Anyhow , I am not into this suing business stuff but that made me say Adios to all lovely Persian hairdressers working hard in Westwood!

This was the initial step in losing my trust in fellow Iranian businesses. But I had not completely given up! Still I was into this notion that the Iranian genes would mean something between us…and of course something good.

It was years later, I was totally away from any sort of Persian stuff business except for some foodstuff that I could hardly find anywhere else and that was fun.

One fine night, after a visit to my lovely, local video store, I rushed to the next shop to buy a shampoo real quick. First time there. As always the multitude of products beat me and made me bring my choices to the gentleman behind the counter. I asked him which he would recommend better for my curly, color treated hair. He opened his mouth and the Persianness poured out. Of course I had no intention of revealing: "Hey, I’m Persian too!" Good thing is I don’t look/sound Persian. People mostly go to South America and Spain when guessing about where I come from.

Anyhow, the guy vetoed all my choices in 2 seconds. Saying that they are all chemical based and he’d suggest if I can spend money to go with Vegan shampoo which was pretty expensive: a small bottle for $27!

That made me curious and obviously curiosity killed the cat! I asked him specifically if that shampoo would be good for curly hair like mine and he replied: Shampoo has nothing to do with curls and it would be fine. So, I said:" OK, I take it but if I don’t like it or feel that I’m going bold, I’ll bring it back!" We shared a laugh and then he asked where I come from.

Ok, big moment.
Me:I’m Persian, too!
Man: Well, you don’t sound Persian!
Me: Yeap…I bet you don’t see many Persians here.
Man: Some… not many… there is a bunch of them in a building near here.
Me: Omidvaram ke ein shampoo khoob bashe , man az shampoo ye bad aasabam khord mishe chon mooham mishe pashm e gorbeh…
Man: Naa , ein aalie… negah konin hamash tabieee…

He shows me the bottle which says: %100 vegan…

Man: Plus I give you 20% discount as you are Persian!
Me: Sweet! Ein Persian boodan be ye dardi khord… Man ke ziad kehiri azash nadidam az doostan.
Man: Are baba….

So, sharing an almost mutual feeling for our fellow Iranians, I broke my promise of not dealing with Persian businesses in my beautification portion of life and went for it. I paid about 60 bucks for the shampoo and conditioner and got back home hurriedly to try it!

Next day, the result was aweful, My curls had gone flat and I looked like a cat soaked in mud so all hair sticking to my scalp. I gave the shampoo set a second chance and decided that’s it! I’m returning this baby!

So, I go back to shop, see the man in Bermuda pants, leaning against the pillar, smoking at the Sunday afternoon sun.

Me: Salam… Ein shampoo be kale man nasakht…Oomdam passesh bedam…
Man: Chi hastesh?
Me: Purology
Man: Ein ro pas nemigiram..
Me: Chera?
Man: Chon karkhoone pas nemigire..
Me: Vali shoma ein ro be man nagoftin plus ein shampoo curl hai e man ro mikoshe…which is different from what you said.

The man shrugs.

Me: Can I change it at least?
Man: No…
Me: What do you mean? I paid almost 60 bucks for these two…

Man shrugs again.

Me: This is unfair… you gave me wrong info… plus all beauty shops take their stuff back for exchange within two weeks … that’s a general rule

Man is silent.

Me: I should have known not to deal with a Persian
Man: Persians are nothing but a headache…

And I left without a word…To hell with my 60 bucks…The situation is more grave… When, we ourselves go with the notion of being nothing but a headache…what do we expect from the world?

IR Logo

2006-10-04T10:38:00.000-07:00

Logo

2006-10-03T17:22:00.000-07:00

Button to subscribe-test

2006-08-14T14:20:00.000-07:00

Chantale

2006-07-03T07:49:00.000-07:00

is leaving... I'm sad... will miss her and that is strange ... it's one of the rare instances after I left Iran that a friend is leaving and I feel how I will miss this person... she was an exceptional person... I hope u'll come back 2 LA and I hope that u get ur movie made... I am sure that u will chantale... u are an exceptional person... one of the rare instances of human being that Khepeleh met on earth

Mi Nacho Libre

2006-07-03T07:42:00.000-07:00

Nacho Libre that is my kind of movie... I loved every bit of it... emotional...sensational and very easy to connect... I think this Jared Hess is great with creating chars that you feel I don't know them but yes they exist and I enjoy watching this...I did not feel this way with Napeleone Dynamite at all.. I thought it was boring to death but when I went 2 SLC and talked to Utah people, I realised what a revolution that movie has made in their lives... that was powerful...
Now... Jack Blackis so well-fitted in that role... I liked how it started that as a kid he has been an orphan himself and he stole things 2 make that cape for himself and then he grew up 2 be still the cook...
I liked the way he served food...That movie has indeed memorable chars... Jack black in stretchy pants and esqueleto.... the Mexican boxing and the faces of people andNanjo... that fat boy with those hanging cheeks was the best... all was so unreal yet beleivable and enjoyable...I loved the way it ended with their field trip in that dilapidated bus....

Cars

2006-07-03T07:37:00.000-07:00

Cars truly aweful movie...no stoy line what so ever... the only fun part is that the chars are cars which tears off its excitement after 5 - 10 minutes...absolutely did not like it and dragged myself with unenthusiastic eyes to watch it till the end... I can not beleived it has grossed over 100 million dollars

Devil wears Prada

2006-07-03T07:27:00.000-07:00

Devil wears Prada Call it chickflick or whatever you may... I loved the movie... truly entertaining and God... good acting... Meryl Streep awesome as ever but I loved this new girl:Ann Hathaway .. liked her look, acting and all...
The script is totally fluid and great...Aline Brosh McKenna has done a great job... when I saw her.. I was astonished as she is a size 0 or 2 herself.. considering that she has kids... that was a first shock for me. She talked about how she got the job... several had written the script for this movie based on the novel that sold well but did not have good reviews on it and then she steps in... a woman and God this is a story that needs to be told by a woman ... How are studio execs so dumb as to think that men esp. a male writer who might not care less for anything but his outfit can even think about Fashion let alone write about it? Well, some exceptional guys ... but I guess the role of thumb suggests a female writer

delam gerefteh

2006-06-24T17:01:00.000-07:00

delem gerefteh bad joor...kheili ye joor e tanhaee hastam az oon modela ke engar akharin adam e rooy e zaminam... ye alam kar darram vali tarjih dadam 2 kaloom benevisam... shayad ham bala beiaram... her chi esmeshe...ghati kardam ke chera va che joori... man donbal e chi hastam va cheghad daram khodam ro gool mizanam... vaghti narahatam va nafasam dar nemiad va oom yeki fagha miad ke bekhabe ... akhe ein cheghad nazdikie? han? man kojam?
delam vase babam tang shode...vase khoone ....vase oon facareh vasat e hooz ke ye ordak bood va az dahanesh aab mioomad... hamishe fekr mikardam ke ein ro kei sakhte... vase derakhta ... vase khodam nemidoonam deltangi az oon chizast ke darmoon nadare hata age man too ein diar gom sham va mahv sham va tooy e mardomak e adama i e cheshm aabi be donya beiam
...
Chesham rang derakht e
Rang e khak e
Rang e hamoon deiar e
Ke saye ash az kahroba e

Man va tu
Tu ke cheshat rang aab e
Delet ham rahi be rah e
Ghorbatam door az cheshat e

Az ham savaeem

Ham ghabile ke na
Faghat ashenaeem.

Kashki khali mishodam... kashki yeki soozan mizad khodam mitarakidam vali ghalbam por mishod...

Kashki mojeze mishod ... donya mehraboon mishod

Vali ta oon mogh
Man meimoonam va ye donya bahaoone
Baray e nakardan e karai e nesfe moonde

Keywords for love design

2006-06-18T18:29:00.000-07:00

love calculator, i love you, find love, valentine's day, love horsocope, love, romantic gift, i love you, holidays/occasions, valentine's day, i heart, romance, love horoscope, unique romantic gift, gift for lover, love gift, Mom, peace, peace sign, valentines, sexy, date gift, woman, love calculator, personalized romantic gift and her is LOVE!

A short glossary of film-festival terms

2006-03-28T13:33:00.000-08:00

A short glossary of film-festival terms:

"Festival fuzz: An altered state of reality that kicks in about Day 2; marked by an inability to remember what you're watching, what you've just watched and what you'll watch next.

The George Romero shuffle: Named after the cult horror movie director, this is the staggering, foot-dragging gait common to cinephiles emerging from their last film of the day, especially following a midnight movie.

Festival phobia: The irrational fear exhibited by some film fanatics that they will somehow miss whole days of the festival.

Walkout: When a 'cine-nut' leaves a screening because the film is so godawful bad.

Rocky Horror Trailer Show: Mocking the festival trailer shown before each and every film by taking to the aisles and acting out different parts.

Festival funk: The profound depression that descends late Sunday night on the last day of the festival. Appetite dies, body functions slow"

Comedian Lists Nine Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

2006-03-28T13:30:00.000-08:00

I DO�.. WANT TO KNOW MORE: Comedian Lists Nine Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

New York, NY 10003

March 27 2006

New York, NY -- In the Wall Street Journal (March 27, 2006), Jeff Opdyke listed the nine questions partners should ask each other before getting married which all had to do with finances. “Who cares about that crap?” asks three-time Writers’ Guild Award winning sitcom and comic screenplay writer Sarit Catz. “I'll admit, money is important in making a marriage work, but there are a lot of other elements at play. If another paper, say the Main Street Journal, ran the article, they’d ask better questions.”Having once written and produced hits like “Full House,” “Coach,” “Soul Man” and other series, plus optioning two comic screenplays, Sarit took time out from Hollywood to start a family and a stand-up comedy career. “Most of my act is about being married and having kids so I have a pretty good idea of what people should ask each other,” says Catz. She cites nine questions she wishes she'd asked her husband before they got married:1. How much hair does your father have on his back? • Obviously I had already seen my then-fiancé's back but I had no idea that a little patch of hair here and there would combine to form a single giant shag rug all over his butt, back, and up and out of his collar. • Perhaps I would have been tipped off if I had known that his father's nickname was "Fur."2. How loud is your father's snoring? • Again, I already knew my then-fiancé snored a bit (don't tell my parents). But, I found the quiet, rhythmic sound reassuring and even cute. Little did I know it would develop into the ground-shaking, ear-splitting scourge of my nights. • It would have been helpful to know that his father snored like a grizzly and sent both his mother and the dog running from the room on many occasions.3. How much hair did your grandfathers have on their heads? • Is it God's sick joke that at the same time hair starts growing out of a man's nose, ears and butt-crack, it stops growing out of his scalp?4. Is it physically possible for you to take a dump without reading the newspaper? • I'm thinking without the reading materials, the bathroom time would be cut at least in half. I mean, forty-five minutes is a little too long to invest in a poop.5. What exactly is lactose intolerance and what are the ramifications thereof for the innocent bystander? • Have you ever smelled a pile of tires burning in a garbage dump? That's what I wish for after my husband has an ice cream.6. Can you go through a full day without hocking? • My husband can hock a loogie pretty much at will. And he will hock them frequently. One of our neighbors was so disgusted by his habit of hocking in our driveway every morning before he leaves for work that she actually sold her house and moved away. I miss you, Fran. Please call.7. Do you have a fascination with nature shows? • Apparently, the feeding habits of the two-toed sloth are so gripping that it becomes physically impossible to tear oneself away for the time it takes to discuss, say, the fact that the house is on fire. • The Betty Ford clinic is investigating the possibility of opening up a program for this addiction. In the meantime, just say no to the National Geographic Channel.8. Do you have a physical disability or handicap that will make it impossible for you to pack lunch for an elementary school student? • I don't remember taking a course in college on PB&J. In fact, I'm pretty sure I received no formal training in brown-bagging whatsoever. And yet, I've managed to master this difficult skill set. • Researchers on the Human Genome Project are trying to isolate a gene on the Y-chromosome that makes lunch-packing simply impossible for men to master (of course, most of the researchers are men looking for an excuse).9. Will you always stay as kind, funny, generous, and loving as you are before the wedding? • Luckily for me, my husband has. And, notwithstanding what I've learned would be the answers to the other eight questions, I think I'll keep him. • After all, this is the only question that really counts, isn't it?About Sarit Catz:A recognized comedy expert, Sarit Catz began her comedy career in radio, creating, writing and producing three award-winning comedy services for ABC Radio Networks and other nationally syndicated services bringing her jokes, voices, song-parodies, and other bits to every market in the nation, from New York’s WPLJ to LA’s KLOS. Sarit went on to become a television writer/producer with credits that include “Coach,” “Full House,” “Soul Man,” “Talk to Me,” “The Crew,” “Café Americain,” and “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.” In the feature film arena, Sarit wrote and sold options on two original screenplays currently being marketed to studios by producers. She has won three (3) Writers’ Guild of America Awards and been named a semi-finalist in the ScriptapaloozaTV screenwriting contest. When Sarit’s children were born, so was her stand-up comedy career. Not only do the kids drive Sarit crazy enough to run screaming from the house and into the clubs, they also provide her with plenty of material. She has played numerous comedy clubs including The Comic Strip, Stand-Up New York, Gotham Comedy Club, Comedy Cellar, New York Comedy Club, Boston Comedy Club, Yuk Yuk’s, The Improv, Rascals Montclair, Palisades, and West Orange, Jenkinson’s, Uncle Floyd’s, and many more. She is currently the Head Writer for the “Bob Gonzo Show,” a sketch/variety show appearing on RipeTV, the new on-demand network, on the internet, and in syndication. She is a semi-finalist in the 2006 “Great Canadian Laugh-Off” and is currently competing in the invitation-only “Gilda’s Club Laugh-Off.” For more information, visit www.princessofcomedy.com

La Femme A cote

2006-02-08T17:20:00.000-08:00

I saw this movie last night at Skirball center...A Truffot movie of obssesive love...Makes me think that people live a life time together and seem normal and happy but their heart is with some one else and as soon as they are unleashed ... tey are back into that somebody!!!

I had no idea that he lived his life with Fanny Ardent...she has an exotic look and then when he was to die, he goes back to his wife ... well, may be a lover is better than wife? Wife is like home, always there and u can return to her whenever u feel like... it never gets upset or angry...

Director of Ray: taylor Hackford was there ... This film had inspired him to be the diector at the level he is now...amazing .. He sounded a nice guy ...Afteral I can not imagine many people iin here love those kind of character based no action no killing movies...

James White

2005-12-25T20:02:00.000-08:00

James white is the writer of Ray.

From Kentucky.Red Money was his first by Seydeny Poittier.Lives in SM with his wife Liz and 3 kids and their ca Neo. Represented by ICM. March 23/2005 in WGA

Transgender deaths illuminated

2005-12-25T19:19:00.000-08:00

Transgender deaths illuminated
JOYCE LIN/daily bruin senior staff
Fifth-year music history student Amy Huyunh participates in a vigil for those who died in the past year as victims of violence against transgendered people.
By Anthony PesceDAILY BRUIN CONTRIBUTORapesce@media.ucla.eduTwenty-eight transgendered men and women are known to have died in the past year as a result of hate crimes. Monday night, students gathered in De Neve Plaza as part of the international Transgender Day of Remembrance in an effort to commemorate their deaths. This year marks the seventh annual Transgender Day of Remembrance, but Monday's candlelight vigil and march were the first time events commemorating the day were held at UCLA. Over the last decade, more than one person per month has died because of transgender-based hate or prejudice, according to the Transgender Day of Remembrance's official Web site. Four speakers – a community member, a UCLA alumna, a graduate student and last year's Queer Alliance president – spoke about their experiences dealing with transgender issues that included hate, violence, discrimination and identity issues. One speaker, while telling the story of how she realized her gender identity, said, "If you're like me, you ran like hell for 45 years before you faced who you are." Though this event was primarily to remember those who have been victims of transgender hate crimes, Christina Chala, a UCLA women's studies alumna and volunteer at the event, said it was also to "move others to action" on transgender issues. Earlier in the day, students lined Bruin Walk with posters commemorating those who had died.
JOYCE LIN/daily bruin senior staff
Students participate in a march from De Neve Plaza to the LGBT center on campus as part of the international Transgender Day of Remembrance.
Monday evening, 28 people stood in front of an audience as candles were lit and each told the story of one of the transgendered people killed this year. The stories included accounts of stabbings, shootings and rapes, all because of the victim's gender identity. As the vigil progressed, many onlookers stopped to listen to the speakers and examine the depictions of the victims in posters that were hung around the plaza. Several passers-by also stopped to join the audience. "All of the numbers, statistics and science take away the humanity of what is happening, but when you see, talk to, and hug someone, it really humanizes them," said Jeremiah Garcia, a second-year art student who attended the event. But in addition to the positive responses from the attendees, there were several people who laughed and sneered as they walked by the event. Though there have been no reported crimes recently committed against transgendered people on campus, Georgina Wakefield, a fifth-year American literature and culture student and QueerXGirl president, said minor acts of vandalism against the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community do happen at UCLA and need to be addressed. There have also been a few incidences of transgendered people moving out of campus residence halls because of the gender-segregated environment, Wakefield said. In response to perceived inaction about transgender issues, the audience filled out action cards after the vigil, pledging their commitment to transgender issues. The cards were affixed to a banner carried by students during their march to the UCLA LGBT Resource Center. More onlookers were attracted as the marchers walked down Bruin Walk past the Wooden Center while chanting, "Hey, hey, ho, ho, trans-phobia's got to go." Monday's event was part of an ongoing effort by student groups to promote awareness of LGBT issues on campus. "We feel like the UCLA community is insulated. We wanted to bring something here that would connect the campus to outside issues," Wakefield said.

List of script sites

2005-12-06T15:26:00.000-08:00

www.script-o-rama.com
www.imsdb.com
http://www.dailyscript.com/index.html
http://www.simplyscripts.com/
http://www.weeklyscript.com/
http://www.simplyscripts.com/full_movie.html
http://www.awesomefilm.com
http://www.joblo.com
http:///www.twiztv.com
http://www.weeklyscript.com
http://www.awesomefilm.com
http://www.geocities.com/classicmoviescripts/
http://www.movie-page.com/movie_scripts.htm
http://geocities.com/kingrr/
http://geocities.com/emruf5/
http://geocities.com/emruf1/
http://www.moviescript.newmail.ru/
http://www.kokos.cz/bradkoun/movies/
http://geocities.com/emruf0/
http://corky.net/scripts/
http://www.moviefreak.com/
http://www.movie-page.com/movie_scripts.htm
http://www.scifiscripts.com/msol/
http://sfy.ru/
http://www.Triggerstreet.com

Aaajab

2005-10-26T16:55:00.000-07:00

Aaajab dastanieh .. Man vaghaan delam misoozeh ke mardom dastan e mazhab va eteghad va eina ro ba oon che ke dare too oon keshvar e gol va bolbol migzareh ghatti mikonan ....dirooz vaghti e-mail e behzad ro didam ke bei rahmaneh be hame chi va hame kas takhteh be esm e ein ke eslam chenin va chenan ...delam gereft .. be nazar e man ageh ma einghad ahmagh bashim ke bezarim az ye chizi ke mitoone khoob bashe , bezarim estefadeh konan ke sar e ma ro shireh bemalan dalil beshe ke oon chiz e badi bashe .. that's me ... man dastan e emam Hoseein hanooz ashkam ro dar maiareh va behesh ehteram mizaram ke kari ro kard ke behesh eteghad dasht .. dorsot , ghalt ya har cho ... kheili az ma az jomleh khodam , faghat zer mizanim .. ye oomr ro sar e zer zadan migzaroonim va bas ...

High Tension

2005-10-14T15:37:00.000-07:00

High Tension…

It’s a horror movie with all the blood and brutal killings but has a fresh breeze into the horror cinema because of the way it establishes the story and also the wonderful twist in the movie esp. how the twist is revealed.

Now I want to see what I liked in this movie as a horror movie:

During the scores at the beginning, there are images of a creature... may be a girl that has been beaten and is bruised and also is murmuring that nothing comes between us any more… The focus is on two pairs of feet clasped on top of each other and swinging…

The movie begins with one of the girls running in the forest as a victim of a brutal attack on her trying to seek refuge…It builds suspense … makes you think that yeah this is the poor girl that is being chased and she jumps into the road for help.

A car pulls over and she screams at the window that she needs help.

It has all been nothing but a dream as the girl: Maries waked up at the back sit of the car from this nightmarish dream.

The story begins very happy and normal. Alex and Marie driving together. Marie drives and Alex offers to help. It states that they are college girls going home to take a vacation from partying and rather concentrate on studying. They have cool music on the way that establishes a cool, happy tone.

There is a shot at an old, rusty truck with a crazy looking man that is doing something to a head of a woman and then throws it out of the window. The head falls on the ground and we see that it’s the cut head of a woman. This shot establishes that there is something scary going on.

Now Marie drives, they stop on the way and Alex vanishes into a corn field in the night, Marie looks for her and boom here is the moment tat with every turn of each leaf you feel boom that is the moment … yeah that man in the truck is going to grab her … it give you the chill but doesn’t turn the chill to cheese so basically it turns as a joke hat Alex was playing on Marie

They arrive at Alex Parents’ house. We don’t get to know them much but just we know that she has a dear younger brother and parents. Marie is kind of strange in her encounter with parents.

They have a chat about Alex former bf and we can see that Marie is kind of getting upset. She leaves home for a cigarette and while sitting on the s wing at night, she sees the naked body of Alex, taking a shower. May be that is the ignite . As she comes in , goes to her room and with her jeans lies on bed with her head phones and starts masturbating as soon as she reaches the orgasm….
The truck arrives; the crappy truck at night, the driver knocks. Father open the door and is killed brutally is the worst sense of manner so is Hendrix, the cute dog. The killer has a blade and is not shy in using it on any parts of the body of the victims.

Marie is afraid 2 death. She arranges her bed as if no one has slept on it and dries the sink of the bathroom. Tries to use phone but there is no phone plug. You really can get into the fear of Marie as she is about to be killed by this guy and that is no joke. The guy comes in , checks everything, very cleverly even the bed springs to make sure that no one has slept on it. Finally he leaves and Marie sends out a sigh of relief…

The murderer kills the mum while Maries sees all as she hides inside the closet at the parent’s bedroom .. Alex has her mouth shot and her hands all in chains handcuffed to her feet. Marie tries to calm her and you are all the time on the verge of the chair thinking … You, shit head why do u speak so loud? The truck man is going to kill u next.

The little boy cries and we see the truck man chases him and kills him with a shut gun.

He comes back grabs Alex and puts her in the back of his dirty truck full of blood stains , gets her pic out of the album and drives away … Alex is trapped in the truck but tries opening the door with knife and finally succeeds as he pulls over to the gas station …

Alex goes in and the gas station man gets killed by the clever truck man … now , Marie follows her and the battle between Marie and the man and all this time you believe that it is just an ordinary horror movie but…

As soon as she’s done with killing him, the DA shows us the tape at gas station that it’s Marie that killed the gas station man and it all goes on that the brutal killer of Alex family was no one but Marie because of her lesbian love … darn clever?!

Wedensday... Oct 12th

2005-10-12T21:47:00.000-07:00

Today was wed. Oct. 12th ...

I am wondering if in my life I will forget his date 10/12/2005

It started as a lucky day... I was wearing my Jane Mansfield type dress but left my dead cell phone at home...While driving I thought why did I leave it? Shall I go back and get it?

No was the easy answer.

I took the road to drive along the Pacific Coast ... That's the least amount of pleasure I can give myself each day ...

I passed by the cafe at the intersection ... the smell of fresh coffe burnt my nostrils and the sight of the young man behind his laptop, drinking leisurely his cup and gazing at the monitor was such a familiar yet desirable scene that sent me off to the heaven of day dreaming ...

The road soon brought me back to reality

Arrived at work just to find a note at my desk that I will present to VP of my group in less than 15 minutes ...

Good thing I felt ready but I had to run on my heels to get the color copy of my chef d'heuvres

It was awesome ... I made sense ..He agreed ... I smiled ... They smiled bigger and the room was full of cheesy tye nods of supportet mikonim khar jooon!!!!

And khar joon went back 2 her desk ...

The day went on ... it was nice ... not eventful but nice...

Till I decided to call Brandon and follow up on my last and biggest hope to draw the line of END to my long, unfinished affair with USCIS...

It was then that the world collapsed...
Wait a minutes ... I guess it was me who collapsed
Or better to say something in me
And let me be straight ... it was my heart ... Are babam jaan ghalbam bood ke talapi az oon bala oftad va oon paeen vasat e zamin pakhs shod raft pei e karesh

Very easily and straightforward , Brandon tells me that the FOIPA reply from FBI that states I am not a criminal does not work 2 finish my divorce file from INS...

Something is wrong ...so wrong ... don't know why ... I am just thinking God .. why all these happen 2 me or at least I feel that way...

My life is in a direction totally the opposite of what I had always thought to be exciting and I can't see why ... or even what can I change....Eversince my feet touched the doorstep of US Embassy in Turkey in 1999 , I got cursed ... the curse of immigration fear and anxiety and it's with me...chasing me nonestop

Then I decided to go and see turtles can fly ( Lak posht ha ham parvaz mikonand)

At the Iran-Turkey boarder , there are Kurds living..Kurds of Iran...the Kurds

Some points from Done Deal

2005-10-04T18:49:00.000-07:00

NewLineCinema
Tapestry Films
David Kramer of UTA is an agent that has made sales for two comedy writers.

Universal Pictures will pay seven figures for Joss Whedon's "Goner." The fantasy thriller is about a young woman's journey, which involves a lot of horror and heroics. Mary Parent and Scott Stuber will produce. Whedon will also direct. He was repped on the deal by Chris Harbert of CAA and attorney Sam Fischer of Ziffren, Brittenham, Branca, Fischer, Gilbert-Lurie, Stiffelman & Cook.

David Auburn will write "St. George and the Dragon" for high six against low seven figures. Auburn was repped by William Craver of Paradigm.

J.R. Moehringer' memoir "The Tender Bar" sold to Scott Rudin Productions for a high six figures against seven figures. The drama focuses on a boy, growing up not knowing his father, who finds surrogates by haunting the Manhasset pub where his uncle is the bartender. The boy goes on to become a copyboy at the New York Times and to eventually winning a Pulitzer prize for feature writing at the L.A. Times.

Title: Love and Other Dilemmas
Logline: A feisty woman is determined to have her perfect wedding day and come hell or high-water nothing is going to stop her regardless of the fact that she's nine-months pregnant, gets robbed, is kidnapped and is led to think her fiancé is dead... and then, there's her grandmother's curse.
Writer: Deborah Peraya
Agent: Linda Saint of The Saint Agency
Buyer: The Goodman Company
Price: n/a
Genre: Dark Comedy
Logged: 10/3/05
More: Option. The Goodman Company's Ilyssa Goodman and Clarity Films' Clare Hodge & Alex Raffe will produce. Larry Di Stefano will direct.

Title: Eleven Minutes
Log line: Centers on the sexual awakening of a Brazilian woman as she heads to Geneva with visions of being a dancer. By the time she returns home, she is hardened and cynical after a stint as a high-priced call girl.
Writer: Paulo Coelho (author)
Agent: n/a
Buyer: New Line Cinema
Price: n/a
Genre: Drama
Logged: 9/21/05
More: Novel. Hollywood Gang Productions’ Gianni Nunnari, Nathalie Peter-Contesse and Craig J. Flores will produce. Hollywood Gang will distribute the film in Latin America.

http://www.lionsgatefilms.com/index_flash.php
ARTISAN ENTERTAINMENT
2700 Colorado Avenue, 2nd Floor
Santa Monica, CA 90404 U.S.A
310-449-9200
Fax: 310-255-3840
www.artisanent.com

http://www.trihughes.com/custom.html

Immigration Cinema

2005-10-03T13:36:00.000-07:00

سخنرانی ، سینمای تبعید/ سینمای مهاجر
سینمای در تبعید چگونه سینمایی است ؟
آیا تبعید فقط یک پدیده سیاسی و جغرافیایی است؟
موقعیت تبعید برای آفرینش یک اثر سینمایی چگونه موقعیتی است؟
تبعید و چگونه گی تاثیرآن بر ذهن وزیباشناسی بیان هنری سینماگر؟

شورش کلانتری، یک سینماگر تبعیدی از کانادا است. پایان نامه دکترا ی او تحقیقی در باره مقوله فیلمسازی درموقعیت تبعید و مهاجرت است. به دعوت جشنواره شورش کلانتری در یک سخنرانی و بحث و گفتگو ، به پدیده سینمای درتبعید و مهاجرت ازوایای مختلف خواهد پرداخت.

دعوت به همکاری
کمیته برگزار کننده جشنواره از سینماگران دعوت به شرکت دادن آثارشان در جشنواره می کند. همچنین کمیته برگزار کننده از پیشنهادها و نظریات تکمیلی دوستان علاقمند به جشنواره درراستای پر بار شدن برنامه ها ی آن استقبال می کند. لطفا پیشنهاد ها و نفطه نظرهای خود را یا از طریق پست الکترونیکی و یا آدرس پستی به دفاتر جشنواره ارسال نمائید.
پیشاپیش از همکاری شما سپاسگزاریم
کمیته برگزار کننده جشنواره

Exile Film Festival - Main Office
P.O. BOX 8003
42108 V. Frölunda
Sweden
TEL/FAX : + 46 (0) 31 14 54 47
Mail : info@exilefilmfestival.com

Exile Film Festival - French Office
Farrokh CHOUBAK
74 rue Escudier
92100 Boulogne Billancourt
France
Tél. : + 33 (0) 1 46 05 33 39
+ 33 (0) 6 32 35 59 82
Mail : farrokhch@yahoo.fr

Exile Film Festival, Canada Office
Shoresh Kalantari
3444 Rue St – Denis
Montreal H2X3L3QC
CANADA
Tel: +1 (0) 514 849 2705
Mail: shoreshmk@yahoo.ca

Exile Film Festival, USA Office
Hassan Mahini
901 North Greensboro St. Apt. E
Garrboro,NC 27510,
USA

Diaspora FilmFest

2005-10-03T13:34:00.000-07:00

EventInfo.ca - Canadian events calendar, nightlife and entertainment guide, and event listings

From the Turkish Diaspora:

En Garde by Ayse Polat. The heartbreaking account of a friendship between a teenage German girl and a Kurdish girl from Turkey. Friday, October 21, at 7 p.m. and Saturday, October 22, at 9 p.m. Both at Goethe-Institut.
Kebab Connection by Anno Saul. In this comedy of two Berlin restaurants the young nephew of a Turkish restaurant owner “collaborates with the enemy” to make a commercial for his Greek neighbour. Friday, October 21, at 9 p.m. and Saturday, October 22, at 6 p.m. Both at Goethe-Institut.
Otomo by Frieder Schlaich. The true story of Otomo, a black man seeking work and asylum in the German city of Stuttgart. However, all he finds is racism, police trouble and his final destiny. Saturday, October 22, at 4:30 p.m. and Monday, October 24, at 9 p.m. Both at Goethe-Institut.

From the Iranian and Afghan Diaspora:

645 Wellington by Kaveh Nabatian. The story of a group of immigrants who must leave their residence because the building may collapse. Free screening. Tuesday, October 25, at 6:30 p.m., followed by a panel discussion. Innis Town Hall.
Earth and Ashes by Atiq Rahimi. Rahimi’s debut film is based on his bestselling novel about an old man journeying across Afghanistan with his grandson, whose mother was killed in the bombing of their village. Sunday, October 23, at 6:30 p.m. Innis Town Hall. Color of Love by Maryam Keshavarz. This new documentary follows teenagers at a religious ceremony in Shiraz and documents their ways of expressing their attraction towards the opposite sex. Saturday, October 29, at 6 p.m. Innis Town Hall.
Color of Night by Oscar®-nominated filmmaker Shoresh Kalantari. Color of Night is based on a true story about a Canadian-Afghan man who marries a girl from his hometown but learns, when they return to Canada, that she is in love with another. Free screening. Tuesday, October 25, at 6:30 p.m. Followed by a panel discussion. Innis Town Hall.
Popular Music by Reza Bagher. Another box office success, Popular Music is based on a best-selling Swedish novel. From the viewpoint of an immigrant filmmaker, this is a 1960s coming-of-age tale about two teenagers in a remote city. Sunday, October 30, at 6:30. Innis Town Hall.
Taboos by Mitra Farahani. A daring documentary about sex and sexuality in Iran, Taboos is the first film with nudity and sexuality made in Iran since the Islamic revolution. Saturday, October 29, at 7:45 p.m. Innis Town Hall.

From the Arab Diaspora:

100% Arabica by Mahmoud Zemmouri. This musical, with Khaled in the main role, deals with the confrontation of Islamic fundamentalism and young Muslims in a suburb of Paris. Friday, October 28, at 9 p.m. Innis Town Hall.
Exiles by Tony Gatlif. The winner of the 2004 Best Direction prize at Cannes, Gatlif tells the tale of a French-Arab couple who embark on a musical journey to rediscover their roots in Algeria. Sunday, October 23, at 9 p.m. Innis Town Hall
Kopps by Josef Fares. This Swedish/Lebanese filmmaker returns with another hilarious comedy about a small town police station that is about to be closed because of a lack of crime. Sunday, October 30, at 4:30 p.m. Innis Town Hall
L’esquive by Abdellatif Kechiche. Winner of four 2004 César Awards (Film, Director, Screenplay, Actress), L’esquive tells the tale of Kerimo, age 15, who falls in love with a classmate and bribes his way into a play in which his love is the lead. Festival opening, Thursday, October 20, at 7 p.m. Innis Town Hall.
Nabila by Hakan Berthas. Nabila is a Muslim girl, a rapper, and an antiracist activist. In a society dominated by white men, this Muslim woman has a long way to go to reach success. Tuesday, October 25, at 9 p.m. Innis Town Hall.
Shouf Shouf Habibi by Albert ter Heerdt. This light comedy is about a Moroccan family in Amsterdam. The daughter of the family wants to become a fashion designer but her parents have a totally different idea. Wednesday, October 26, at 7 p.m. Innis Town Hall.
Littoral by Wajdi Mouawad. When a Lebanese man is found dead, covered with snow, his Canadian son, Wahab resolves to bury the body in the town of his father's birth. But it is not the idyllic village he envisioned. Thursday, October 27, at 9 p.m. Innis Town Hall.

From the Israeli Diaspora:

Kedma by Amos Gitai. Kedma is about the immigration of European Jews in the early days of the state of Israel. Saturday, October 29, at 9:15 p.m. Innis Town Hall.
Promised Land by Amos Gitai. A tale about the trafficking of women to Israel for prostitution, as told by this famous Israeli filmmaker known for his defined style and social viewpoints. Thursday, October 20, at 9 p.m. Innis Town Hall.

From the African Diaspora:

Four Women by Baker Karim. This beautiful movie follows four women who struggle with their angst over their trust and lust within their relationships, both with each other and with the men in their lives. Sunday, October 23, at 4:30 p.m. Innis Town Hall.
Otomo by Frieder Schlaich. See “From the Turkish Diaspora”.

From Caribbean Diaspora:

How to Conquer America in One Night by Dany Laferrière. After being separated for 20 years, two Haitian friends are reunited in Montreal. While dining the buddies take stock of their lives and dreams. Wednesday, October 26, at 9 p.m. Innis Town Hall.
Scent of Young Women by John L'Ecuyer. Festival’s closing. Sunday, October 30, at 9 p.m. Innis Town Hall.

From Pakistani Diaspora:

Yasmin by Kenny Glenaan. Having rebelled against her Pakistani upbringing, Yasmin had grown adept at juggling her Westernized working and social life with her traditional culture at home — until the attacks of 9/11. Thursday, October 27 at 7 p.m. Innis Town Hall.

Canadian Productions:

645 Wellington by Kaveh Nabatian. See “From the Iranian and Afghan Diaspora”.
Adaan by Ruba Nadda. Free screening. Tuesday, October 25, at 6:30 p.m. Followed by a panel discussion. Innis Town Hall.
How to Conquer America in One Night by Dany Laferrière. See “From Caribbean Diaspora”.
Littoral by Wajdi Mouawad. See “From Arab Diaspora”.
The Scent of Young Women by John L'Ecuyer. See “From Caribbean Diaspora”.

French Productions:

100% Arabica by Mahmoud Zemmouri. See “From the Arab Diaspora”.
Earth and Ashes by Atiq Rahimi. See “From the Iranian and Afghan Diaspora”.
Exiles by Tony Gatlif. See “From the Arab Diaspora”.
Kedma by Amos Gitai. See “From the Israeli Diaspora”.
L’esquive by Abdellatif Kechiche. See “From the Arab Diaspora”.
Promised Land by Amos Gitai. “From the Israeli Diaspora”.
Taboos by Mitra Farahani. See “From the Iranian and Afghan Diaspora”.

Swedish Productions:

Four Women by Baker Karim. See “From African Diaspora”.
Kopps by Josef Fares. See “From the Arab Diaspora”.
Nabila by Hakan Berthas. See “From the Arab Diaspora”.
Popular Music by Reza Bagher. See “From the Iranian and Afghan Diaspora”.

German Productions:

En Garde by Ayse Polat. See “From the Turkish Diaspora”.
Kebab Connection by Anno Saul. See “From the Turkish Diaspora”.
Otomo by Frieder Schlaich. . See “African Diaspora”.

UK Production:

Yasmin by Kenny Glenaan. See “From Pakistani Diaspora”.

The Diaspora Film Festival is an annual art forum dedicated to the celebration of films and videos made by artists living and working outside their countries of origin. These films explore such themes as immigration and social, ethnic and cultural diversity. The Diaspora Film Festival showcases works in all genres which push traditional boundaries in storytelling methods and which inform, provoke and inspire audiences. Visit www.diasporafilmfest.org for updates and more information.

Dastan e Dokhtran e Afghani

2005-10-03T13:27:00.000-07:00

ژيلا بني‌يعقوب
نقل از سایت روز

آمار دقيقي از زنان ايراني كه با همسران افغاني خود در هرات زندگي مي‌كنند وجود ندارد. مسولان كنسولگري ايران در هرات تاكنون توانسته‌اند بيش از ۳۰۰ نفر از اين زنان را شناسايي كنند، اما مي‌گويند كه تعدادشان خيلي بيشتر از اين هاست.

بسياري از اين زنان به اجبار پدران‌شان به همسري مردان افغاني در آمده‌اند. بعضي از اين پدران به خاطر فقر شديد در واقع دختران ‌شان را در مقابل مبلغ ناچيزي به مردان افغاني فروخته‌اند. بعضي از اين دختران متعلق به خانواده‌هاي پر جمعيت هستند و پدران‌شان به خاطر مشكلات اقتصادي و تنها با انگيزه كم كردن نانخورهاي خانواده، آنها را به مردان افغاني شوهر داده‌اند.

البته از نظر دورنماند كه در ميان اين زنان كساني نيز هستند،كه با عشق و علاقه فراوان و علي رغم ميل خانواده با اين مردان ازدواج كرده و به هرات آمده‌اند .

زنان ايراني در هرات در شرايط كاملا نا مناسب زندگي، و با فقر ومشكلات شديد اقتصادي دست و پنجه نرم مي‌كنند. اغلب آنها هيچ اطلاعي از حقوق خود ندارند، و در صورت مراجعه به دادگاه‌هاي هرات نيز مورد حمايت‌هاي قانوني قرار نمي‌گيرند.

در سفري كه اواخر زمستان سال گذشته به هرات داشتم، با بسياري از اين زنان ايراني ساعت ها به گفتگو نشستم و زندگي شان را از نزديك ديدم، حاصل اين ديده ها و شنيده ها را مي‌خوانيد:

الهه بريده بريده حرف مي زند، انگار كه سعي مي كند، جلوي تركيدن بغضش را بگيرد كه مكث هايش اينقدر طولاني است: "عشق فقط مي تواند يك ماه تو را اينجا نگه دارد، خيلي كه عاشق باشي، شايد يك سال دوام بياوري. اما من سه سال است كه آمده ام هرات. مي فهمي چه مي گويم! سه سال! انگار كه صد سال گذشته است اين سه سال بر من. طاقتم تمام شده است و نمي خواهم حتي يك روز ديگر اينجا بمانم..."

برقع آبي رنگش را جوري روي سرش جابه جا مي كند كه مي تواني گردي صورتش راببيني. چهره گندمگون و رنگ پريده اش در ميان سرمه‌اي تند مقنعه اش، غمگين تر به نظر مي رسد. قطره هاي درشت اشك تند تند روي صورتش مي دود. هق هق گريه نمي گذارد كلماتش را به خوبي بشنوي. همين كه مي خواهم آرام اش كنم و بگويم گريه نكن، پشيمان مي شوم، حرفم را مي خورم، به جايش مي گويم: "الهه جان من سه سال است كه با كسي درد دل نكرده ام. سه سال است كه با مادرم حتي تلفني هم حرف نزده ام...."
و دوباره صدايش توي هق هق گريه گم مي شود.

يک نمونه:الهه

الهه، دختر اهل خراسان فقط ۱۶سال داشت كه سه سال پيش در شهرستان مشهد عاشق يك پسر هفده ساله افغاني شد. پدر و مادرش هر دو با ازدواج آنها مخالف بودند. اما الهه عاشق در دل به حرف هاي پدر كه مي گفت " دخترم، تاب زندگي در افغانستان رانمي آوري "، مي خنديد.

همين كه ازدواج كرديم، خانواده ام با ما قطع رابطه كردند، و من هم بي آن كه به آنها خبر بدهم، همراه همسرم و خانواده اش به هرات آمدم. فقط شش ماه اول از زندگي ام رضايت داشتم، آنقدر عاشق بودم كه فلاكت زندگي ام را در افغانستان نمي ديدم.

به قول خودش شش ماه اول كه تمام شد، تازه فهميد كه نه آب آشاميدني سالم دارند، نه برق، نه بهداشت و نه حتي غذاي كافي براي خوردن. الهه مدت هاست كه تصميم گرفته به ايران باز گردد، به قول خودش بدون شوهر و يا با شوهر هرجور شده باز مي گردد. پاسپورت ندارد و چون بي خبر از خانواده از ايران خارج شده، حتي نتوانسته شناسنامه اش را از خانه پدري بردارد. چند بار به كنسولگري ايران در هرات رفته است و هربار در آن جا به او گفته اند: "شناسنامه هم كه نداري! حالا ما چطور مي توانيم به تو پاسپورت و يا حتي برگه عبور بدهيم."

آنها به او پيشنهاد دادند كه به خانواده اش در مشهد تلفن بزند تا لااقل مداركش همچون فتوكپي شناسنامه اش را براي آنها فاكس كنند تا بر اساس آن به او برگه عبور بدهند. الهه انگار وحشت دارد از تلفن زدن به خانواده اش كه مي گويد: " بعد از سه سال كه بي خبر آنها را گذاشتم و آمدم اينجا، با چه رويي به مادر بيچاره ام تلفن بزنم. خدايا! در اين سه سال بر مادرم چه رفته است." دلهره در صدايش موج مي زند:" اصلاً من از كجا بدانم كه مادرم الان در چه وضعي است؟ سالم است يا خداي نا كرده..." و لبش را مي گزد و دوباره گريه امانش را مي برد.

مي گويم: الهه! من به جاي تو بودم حتماً زنگ مي زدم. هم صداي مادر را مي شنوي و هم شايد مشكلت را حل كنند. برقع آبي را دوباره روي سرش جابه جا مي كند و مستقيم توي چشمهايم نگاه مي كند.

نمونه دوم:شعله

محله جبرئيل هم مثل بيشتر خيابان هاي هرات آسفالت نيست. برف و باران اين چند روزه، نابساماني خيابان ها و كوچه را بيشتر و رفت و آمد را دشوارتر از پيش كرده است.
من به دنبال منزل" شعله ضروري" مي گردم. زني از اهالي شهر ري كه با همسر افغاني اش بيش از هفت سال است كه در هرات زندگي مي كند. راستي كه چه سخت است پيدا كردن يك نشاني در اين شهر. اصلاً اگر چيزي به نام نشاني در اين شهر وجود داشته باشد. خيابان ها و كوچه ها در اينجا نامي ندارند؛ همچنان كه خانه ها شماره‌اي.

آنچه به عنوان آدرس به من گفته اند، همين است: محله جبرئيل، پشت حمام. راه كه افتادم، تصور مي كردم، پشت حمام فقط يك خانه چسبيده به آن وجود دارد كه شعله با خانواده اش در آن زندگي مي كند. اما حالا مي بينم پشت حمام يعني دهها كوچه باريك و تو در تو با صدها خانه و من بايد در يكي از اين كوچه ها شعله را پيدا كنم، چاره اي نيست. در اين شهر هر كس كه مي خواهد آدرس خانه اي را پيدا كند، بايد مشخصات ساكن آن خانه را بدهد.

و براي پيدا كردن شعله از ده ها نفريك سئوال مشترك مي پرسم: " مي بخشيد، شما مي توانيد به من بگوئيد شعله ‌خانم در كدام يكي از اين كوچه ها زندگي مي كند، با تعجب كه نگاه مي كنند. مي گويم" همان خانم ايراني كه شوهر و چهار بچه دارد." كوچه را كه پيدا مي كنم، نوبت پرسش بعدي است: " شعله خانم در كدام يكي از اين خانه هاست؟"

خوبي محله هاي هرات اين است كه تقريباً همه يكديگر را مي شناسند و همين باعث مي شود كه بالاخره خودم را به خانه شعله برسانم. سوز سرما دست هايم را آنچنان بي حس كرده كه به زحمت مي توانم بندهاي كفشم را باز كنم. وارد اتاق كه مي شوم، پاهايم يكهو خيس مي شوند، روي پاشنه پاهايم مي ايستم و به سقف نگاه مي كنم:" شعله خانم! سقف اتاقتان چكه مي كند؟" مي گويد: "چكه نه! زمين نم دارد، مثل ديوارها." مي گويم:"يعني انقدر نم دارد كه پاهايم را خيس كرد؟" سرش را كه به نشانه تائيد تكان مي دهد، روي زير انداز نازك اتاق دست مي كشم. موكت قرمز رنگ و نخ نما شده، آنقدر نم دارد كه به خيسي مي زند. دست هايم يكهو انگار يخ مي كنند. همانطور كه پاهايم يكهو سرد شده بودند و سرما انگار مثل يك موج به تمام تنم مي ريزد و تا استخوان هايم نفوذ مي كند. " شعله خانم! چقدر اين اتاق سرد است، چطور اين سرما را تحمل مي كنيد؟"

چراغ كوچكي را كه كمي آنسوتر است، به طرفم هل مي دهد و مي گويد: "خودتان را گرم كنيد." درهمان حال كه مي گويم منظورم اين نبود، خودم را به چراغ نزديك تر مي كنم و دست هايم را روي حرارتش مي گيرم. كمي كه گرم مي شوم مي گويم: منظورم اين بود كه چطور تحمل مي كنيد اين همه نمناكي و سرما را. با صداي گرفته اش مي گويد: تحمل نكنيم، چه كنيم؟ تازه همين چراغ كوچك را تا چند ماه پيش نداشتيم و كارمندان ايراني كه اينجا كار مي‌كنند ، براي‌مان آوردند."

شعله با لهجه مردم هرات افغانستان برايم حرف مي زند: "همسرم شاگرد مغازه قصابي پدرم بود. من راضي به ازدواج با او نبودم اما پدرم مجبورم كرد، مي گفت: اما آدم خوبي است. راست مي گفت اصلاً آدم بدي نيست و در اين هفت سال اذيتم نكرده. اما من مي خواستم در ايران زندگي كنم نه در هرات. هر جور كه فكر كنيد ايران هزار بار بهتر از افغانستان است. اينجا جاي زندگي نيست. روزها كه اصلاً برق نداريم. شب ها هم فقط دو سه ساعتي برق داريم، بين ساعت 7 تا 10 شب آب لوله كشي هم نداريم. با سطل از چاه توي حياط آب مي كشيم بالا. دكتر ها مي گويند آب چاه بهداشتي نيست، اما ما كه پول نداريم تا آب سالم از مغازه بخريم."

شوهر شعله با يك چرخ دستي در خيابان هاي هرات ميوه مي فروشد، درآمد كمي دارد، آنقدر كم كه يك سالي مي شد كه نه برنج خورده بودند و نه گوشت، تا اينكه گروهي از كارمندان ايراني در هرات در يكي ازاعياد مذهبي چند كيلو برنج، آرد، روغن و گوشت براي شان فرستادند. در آمدش انقدر كم است كه در همه هفت سالي كه به افغانستان آمده اند شعله فقط دوبار توانسته براي ديدار خانواده اش به شهرش ، ري، برود: "پدرم را سال ها نديده بودم كه مرد، وقتي هم مرد پول نداشتيم كه لااقل براي مراسم كفن و دفنش به ايران بروم. وقتي چند سال بعد، خبر بيماري مادرم را شنيدم، ترسيدم اين بار هم او را بي اينكه ببينم، از دست بدهم. مادرم از غم نديدن من مريض شده بود. براي گرفتن ويزا بايد چهل دلار به كنسولگري ايران مي دادم، اما پول كافي نداشتم. وقتي مشكلم را به آنها گفتم، قبول كردند ۲۰ دلار به من تخفيف بدهند."

" شعله! تو ايراني هستي و براي رفتن به كشور خودت كه به ويزا نياز نداري؟" مي خواهد پاسخم را بدهد كه سرفه نمي گذارد، پشت سرهم سرفه مي‌كند، سرفه هاي خشك كه مدام به سراغش مي آيد. چند دقيقه اي كه سرفه امانش مي دهد، مي گويد: "من خودم كه پاسپورت ندارم. عكسم داخل پاسپورت شوهرم است، يعني تابعيت افغاني دارم." اين بار مي پرسم" چرا شعله؟ چرا خودت پاسپورت نداري؟ آن هم پاسپورت ايراني ؟"
هاج و واج نگاهم مي كند و مي گويد:" شوهرم اين كار را كرد. مگر فرقي هم مي كند؟"

توي چشمهايش نگاه مي كنم، مي خواهم برايش بگويم كه خيلي فرق مي كند، مي خواهم بگويم اگر پاسپورت ايراني خودت را داشته باشي، هيچ فايده اي نداشته باشد، راحت تر مي تواني به كشور خودت سفر كني... اما وقتي مي گويد كه " شوهرم دلش مي خواهد عكسم توي پاسپورت خودش باشد و من نمي خواهم ناراحتش كنم." به جاي هر حرف ديگري مي گويم: "شعله جان ! چرا اينقدر سرفه مي كني؟" دوباره سرفه اي شديد می کند و بعد مي گويد:" مدتهاست كه مريضم، اما پول دكتر رفتن را ندارم." وقتي مي پرسم چرا نمي روي" كلينك ايراني‌ها" كه بيماران را به رايگان ويزيت مي كند، مي گويد كه" چند بار رفته ام، اما فقط ويزيت مجاني است، هر بار برايم دارو نوشتند و من پول نداشتم داروها را از داروخانه بگيرم، حالا ديگر به كلينيك ايراني ها هم نمي روم، چقدر نسخه بگيرم؟" راست مي گويد. نسخه اي كه به دارو تبديل نشود، چه دردي را از او دوا مي كند.

نمونه سوم: فوزيه

فوزيه پورعلي، زن ۳۵ ساله اهل مازندران را در مقابل كنسولگري جمهوري اسلامي ايران در هرات ديدم. چند ماه است تعدادي از زنان ايراني هر پنج شنبه به اينجا مي آيند تا كمك هايي را كه كنسولگري با كمك تعدادي از موسسه ها و تاجران ايراني مستقر در هرات گرد آورده ، دريافت كنند. كمك هايي از قبيل ۲۰ ليتر نفت، چند كيلو آرد و برنج و گاهي هم كمي گوشت.

برقع فوزيه كه كنار مي رود تن پوش كهنه اش را مي‌بینم كه آنقدر نازك است كه هيچ تناسبي با سرماي زمستان هرات ندارد و بعد چشمم به كفش هاي پاره اش مي افتد، كفش كه نه، چيزي مثل يك دمپايي پلاستيكي. انگشت پاهايش از سوز سرما سرخ شده. همانطور كه دست هايش را با گوشه برقع مي پوشاند تا از آن مانعي در برابر سرماي گزنده ساخته باشد، مي گويد: "رنگم را ببين، حالم را نپرس." به چهره رنگ پريده و خسته اش نگاه مي كنم كه خيلي بيشتر از ۳۵سال مي نماياند و بعد به دستهاي حنا بسته اش. كه لبخند تلخي مي زند و مي گويد: "بعضي وقت ها دست هايم را حنامي بندم، هيچ دلخوشي ندارم در اينجا جزهمين حنا... ۱۶ سال است كه در هرات زندگي مي كنم و در همه اين سال ها يك نفر هم به خانه ما ميهمان نشده. نامادري ام مرا مجبور به اين ازدواج كرد، چون مي خواست از دستم راحت شود. "

آهي مي كشد: " زندگي با نامادري كه آن همه اذيتم مي كرد، هزار بار بهتر بود از اين زندگي، هر چه زخم زبان مي‌زد لااقل شكمم سير بود. اما حالا چه بسيار شب ها كه من و چهار فرزندم سر گرسنه بر زمين مي گذاريم، چه بسيار روزها كه غذاي اصلي امان فقط نان است ونان، كاش لااقل نان تازه اي گيرمان مي آمد، نان خشك را توي چاي مي زنيم و به دندان مي كشيم.

كبرا زن ۳۱ ساله بابلي هم مي‌گويد:" پدرم كه مرد ، خانواده‌اش به زور مرا به يك مرد افغاني شوهر دادند و بعد از چند سال آمديم هرات ، در ايران كه بوديم يك چرخ دستي داشت و با آن سيب زميني مي‌فروخت . اينجا هم كه آمديم كارش همان بود تا اينكه فوت كرد و من و هفت بچه‌ام را بي سرپرست گذاشت ." دست‌هايش را جلوي صورتم مي‌گيرد :" ببين چقدر خشك است . با همين دست‌ها كه هميشه هم درد مي‌كند در خانه‌هاي مردم لباس مي‌شويم".

لحظه‌اي مكث مي‌كند و بعد مي‌گويد : خانم! ما هميشه صبحانه مي‌خوريم . هم صبح ، هم ظهر و هم شب . غذاي ما فقط شده نان خالي و چاي . نه بخاري داريم و نه نفت . پسرها هيزم جمع مي‌كنند ، توي منقل مي‌ريزيم و كمي گرم مي‌شويم . ميوه ما فقط هويج و شلغم است." اين را كه مي‌گويد ، فوزيه به ميان حرف‌هايش مي‌دود كه " خوش به حالتان كه وضعتان اينقدر خوب است ، ما سال هاست همان هويج و شلغم را هم نخورده ايم . ما بعضي از شبها همان نان خالي هم گيرمان نمي‌ايد و سر گرسنه بر زمين مي‌گذاريم چه برسد به هويج وشلغم ."

زهرا:نمونه ديگر

تازه رگبار تند باران تمام شده كه به محله" پل رگينه" هرات مي‌رسم . از اتومبيل كه پياده مي‌شوم ، يك جوان افغاني مدتي با تعجب نگاهم مي‌كند و بعد مي‌گويد : كجا مي‌خواهيد برويد، در گل فرو مي‌رويد و يك قدم هم نمي‌توانيد برداريد." مي‌گويم:" مهم نيست ، حداكثر اينكه خودمان گلي مي‌شويم و لباس‌هايمان كثيف ." مي‌گويد :" نه! فقط اين‌ها نيست ."

اين بار سراغ زهراي ۲۵ ساله ، زن ايراني و شوهر افغاني ۶۰ ساله‌اش را مي‌گيرم. نشاني پيچ در پيچ چند خيابان و كوچه را مي‌دهد و ما به راه مي افتيم . خيابان‌ها و كوچه‌هايي كه راه رفتن در آن اصلا ساده نيست . با هرقدم برداشتن مقدار زيادي گل و لاي به كفش‌هايم مي‌چسبد و در هر چند قدم هم به ميزانش افزوده مي‌شود.

... يكهو پاهايم به زمين مي‌چسبد و هر چه تلاش مي‌كنم نمي‌توانم پايم را از زمين بلند كنم . دستم را محكم روي ديوار يكي از خانه‌ها مي‌گذارم و با فشار زياد سعي مي‌كنم ، خودم را از اين وضع نجات دهم . اما نمي‌توانم. پاهايم بدجوري در ميان انبوه گل و لاي محبوس شده ... عاجزانه به اطراف نگاه مي‌كنم شايد كه كسي به كمكم بيايد. اما كسي حواسش به من نيست. دوباره از ديوار كمك مي‌گيرم و بالاخره يكي از پاهايم را به سختي از توي گل‌ها بيرون مي‌كشم .آنقدر گل به كفش‌هايم چسبيده كه چيزي از كفش‌هايم را نمي‌بينم. با هر مصيبتي آن يكي را هم بيرون مي‌كشم. پاهايم ديگر محبوس نيست ، اما با اين همه گل ولاي ، كفشهايم آنقدر سنگين شده كه به سختي مي‌توانم قدم بردارم. چند نفر آن جلوتر توي گل فرو رفته‌اند. صداي جوان افغاني توي مغزم مي‌پيچد كه" توي گل فرو مي‌رويد و نمي‌توانيد قدم از قدم برداريد." حالا معناي حرفش را مي‌فهمم . من هيچ وقت تصوري از باتلاق گل نداشتم و چه ساده‌دلانه با او گفتم كه مهم نيست . حداكثر لباس‌هايم گلي مي‌شود." به سختي گام بر مي‌دارم . يك دستم را به ديوار گرفته‌ام و پاهايم را با زور زياد و با چند كيلو گل با خودم مي كشانم .

در همين محله زهرا ، اهل تربت جام مشهد را ديدم ، يازده ساله بود كه پدرش او را به يك مرد ۴۷ ساله افغاني شوهر داد:" پدرم از بي پولي و فقر زياد بود كه اين بلا را بر سر من آورد ، مي‌خواست از نان خورهايش كم شود. من آنقدر كم سن وسال بودم كه اصلا نمي‌فهميدم شوهر يعني چه ؟ پدرم هم هيچ سوالي نپرسيد و من را به او داد. شوهرم هم در برابر ازدواج با من صد هزار تومان به پدرم داد. چند سال اول در همان تربت جام زندگي كرديم و الان ده سال است كه به هرات آمده‌ايم."

تربت جام كمي ان سوي مرز ايران است و فاصله زيادي با اين شهر ندارد. اما زهرا در تمام ده سال گذشته فقط يك بار توانسته به زادگاهش سفر و ديداري با خانواده اش تازه كند:" نه پول كرايه ماشين دارم و نه پول گرفتن ويزا براي بچه‌ها . من حتي پولي ندارم كه به مادر بيچاره‌ام تلفن بزنم . از آخرين باري كه با مادرم تلفني صحبت كرده‌ام چهار- پنج سال مي‌گذرد."

خانه كوچكشان عبارت از يك اتاق است ، با ديوارهايي كاه‌گلي . اتاقي كه در ورودي ندارد و يك نايلون سفيد كه با چند ميخ به ديوار كوبيده شده ، نقش در را بازي مي‌كند. روي نمد پاره پاره‌اي كه كف پوش اتاق است، جابجا مي‌شوم. سرما آنقدر غير قابل تحمل شده كه خودكار را به سختي توي انگشت هايم نگه داشته‌ام. چرا در اين خانه چيزي براي گرما بخشيدن وجود ندارد. نه يك بخاري و يا يك چراغ ؟ و نه حتي يك كرسي كوچك ذغالي؟

زهرا مي‌گويد:" تا چند روز پيش وسط اتاق كرسي گذاشته بوديم. اما ذغال تمام شد و پول نداشتيم كه دوباره ذغال بخريم . تازه‌گي‌ها كارمندان يك شركت ايراني يك چراغ والور كوچك به ما داده اند، اما نفت نداريم كه روشنش كنيم." مي گويم:" زهرا ! چطور اين سرما را طاقت مي‌آوريد؟ شب ها كه هوا سردتر مي‌شود، چه مي‌كنيد؟" مي گويد:" پتو مي‌اندازيم روي‌مان . هم شب و هم روز . پنج نفريم اما چهار تا پتو داريم . بيشتر شب‌ها تا صبح از سرما مي‌لرزيم و خوابمان نمي‌برد."

نوزاد چهار ماهه‌ زهرا گوشه اتاق افتاده و يكريز جيغ مي‌زند. به چهره رنگ پريده نوزادش كه نگاه مي‌كنم، مي‌گويد:" بيچاره از گرسنگي جيغ مي‌زند. خودم كه شير ندارم يه او بدهم . همان چند روز اول بعد از زايمان، شيرم خشك شد. چيزي نمي‌خوردم كه شير داشته باشم . پولي هم در بساط نداريم كه برايش شير خشك بخرم . فقط چاي و آب جوش به او مي‌دهم . طفلك جان ندارد، ببين چقدر لاغر و زرد است." بچه يك ريز از گرسنگي گريه مي‌كند . مادر با نگراني نگاهش مي‌كند . همينطور پدر شصت ساله‌اش كه خودش را دريك پتوي قهوه‌اي افغاني پيچانده.

وقتي از پيرمرد در باره شغلش مي‌پرسم ، همسر 25 ساله‌اش به جاي او جواب مي‌دهد: " چه شغلي ؟ در هرات براي جوان‌ها كار پيدا نمي‌شود، چه برسد براي پيرمردهايي مثل او . رنگش را ببينيد، از زور سرما حال ندارد از خانه بيرون برود. تمام پائيز و زمستان همينطور گوشه اتاق مي‌نشيند. بهار و تابستان بعضي وقت‌ها مي‌رود كارگري." صداي گريه نوزاد حالا ديگر قطع شده، آنقدر جيغ زد كه از رمق افتاد. نفس‌هايش تند و بلند است . سينه‌اش خس خس مي‌كند و بيمار و رنجور به نظر مي‌آيد. مي گويم: "زهرا ! بچه بيمار است. نه؟ هيچ وقت او را به پزشك نشان داده ‌اي؟" مي‌گويد:" بله . تازه‌گي‌ها بردمش كلينيك ايراني‌ها ... و با عجله از زير نمد نسخه‌اي را مي‌كشد بيرون و به دستم مي‌دهد :" اين هم دواهايش. اما پول نداشتم كه بخرم ."

مهری: نام مستعار

تعداد آنها كه عاشق شدند و به ميل خود با مردان افغاني ازدواج كردند، نسبت به آنها كه به اجبار پدران و به خاطر مشكلات اقتصادي به همسري اين مردان درآمدند، بسيار اندك است. يكي از اين دختران عاشق يك دانشجوي ۲۰ ساله اصفهاني است كه از من قول گرفت كه به جاي نام واقعي اش از نام مهري براي او در اين گزارش استفاده كنم. مهري همزمان با تحصيل در دانشگاه آزاد، در يك كارگاه توليدي لباس نيز كار مي كرد. صاحبان كارگاه دو برادر افغاني بودند. يكي از برادرها كه 28 سال داشت، خياطي را خيلي خوب به او آموخت.

خودش در اين باره مي گويد:" شش ماهه مرا تبديل به يك خياط حرفه اي كرد و خيلي زود تبديل به همكاراني خوب و با پشتكار براي هم شديم. در همين همكاري بود كه كم كم به هم علاقه مند شديم. بيش از هر چيز شيفته صداقتش شدم، صداقت خودش و خانواده اش. خانواده اي كه خيلي زود مرا براي پسرشان خواستگاري كردند." مهري با ترس زياد موضوع اين خواستگاري را با خانواده اش مطرح كرد: "برادر بزرگم همين كه اين موضوع را شنيد، يك قمه بزرگ برداشت و تهديد كرد كه هم مرا مي كشد و هم او را. برادر ديگرم هم چاقوي بزرگي از آشپزخانه برداشت و مي خواست مرا بكشد. پدرم چاقو و قمه برنداشت، اما با فريادي به من گفت كه اگر با يك افغاني ازدواج كنم براي هميشه طردم مي كند و هيچ وقت حاضر نخواهد شد حتي اسمم را بشنود. "

تهديدها موثر نيفتاد و عشق كار خودش را كرد و مهري پنهاني با محمد، جوان اهل هرات، پيمان زناشويي بست: "عقد شرعي كرديم و به افغانستان آمديم. به هرات كه رسيديم، به مادرم تلفن زدم و گفتم دنبالم نگرديد، من ازدواج كرده ام و حالا سر خانه و زندگي خودم هستم. هم زندگي ام خوب است، هم همسرم و خانواده اش." مادرش پشت تلفن به گريه افتاده بود كه: "مهري، تو رو به خدا برگرد ايران. بيشتر از اين لجبازي نكن."
مهري هم با گريه گفته بود:" اگر برگرديم ايران برادرهايم هم مرا مي كشند، هم محمد را."
مهري هنوز هم از اينكه با يك مرد افغاني ازدواج كرده، اصلاً پشيمان نيست. اما همه پشيماني اش از اين است كه به افغانستان آمده اند. به قول خودش از ترس جان شوهرش به اين مهاجرت تن داد:" شايد بهتر بود به جاي مهاجرت به افغانستان به يكي از شهرهاي دور افتاده ايران مي رفتيم. برادرهايم كه نمي توانستند وجب به وجب ايران را براي يافتن ما جستجو كنند. اما من خيلي ترسيده بودم و همين ترس هم من و همسرم را آواره كرد و هم خانواده اش را. آن بيچاره ها بيشتر از ۲۰ سال بود كه در ايران زندگي مي كردند، زندگي و در آمدشان هم بد نبود، اما حالا اينجا خيلي از روزها معطل يك تكه نان هستند. حالا ديگر به خانواده همسرم ويزاي ايران را نمي دهند، يعني به هيچ خانواده افغاني به اين راحتي ها ويزا نمي دهند. مسئولان كنسولگري ايران گفته اند تنها به همسرم آن هم بخاطر من كه ايراني ام، يك ويزاي شش ماهه مي دهند."

هوا رو به تاريكي مي رود و من به سختي مي توانم كاغذم و آنچه را رويش مي‌نويسم ، ببينم. خانه اي كه مهري با شوهر و ۱۱ نفر از اعضاي خانواده او در آن زندگي مي كنند، همچون بسياري از خانه هاي هرات، برق ندارد و تنها روشنايي اتاق، شعله هاي آبي يك چراغ گازي پيك نيكي است، چراغي كه براي خوراك پزي از آن استفاده مي‌كنند.

مادر شوهر مهري كه به سختي مي توانم چهره اش را ببينم، مي گويد: "نفت و يا كپسول اضافي گاز نداريم كه يك چراغ هم براي روشنايي استفاده كنيم. با شعله هاي چراغ مي سازيم. روي همين چراغ هم غذا مي پزيم، هم از گرمايش استفاده مي كنيم و هم از روشنايي اش."

با خودم مي گويم: عجب گرمايي هم! انگار پيرزن مي شنود كه با مهرباني مي گويد: مي دانم! اتاق خيلي سرد است، همه بچه ها سرما خورده اند. مهري هم سرماخورده، نمي بيني چقدر سرفه مي كند." رو به مهري مي گويم: "تو كه هم خودت خياط هستي و هم شوهرت، چرا اينجا، در هرات، مثل اصفهان، يك كارگاه توليدي لباس داير نمي كنيد؟"

مي گويد: " ما با همين رويا به هرات آمده ايم، شوهرم و برادرش هشت چرخ صنعتي داشتند كه به اينجا آورديم. با خودمان مي گفتيم خياطي مي كنيم و زندگي مان را مي گذرانيم. اما همه اش فقط يك خواب و خيال بود كه زود بر باد رفت. اينجا مردم پول ندارند كه غذاي كافي بخورند، چه برسد كه لباس هم بخرند. جسته و گريخته براي همسايه ها خياطي مي كنم اما پولي كه به عنوان مزد به من مي دهند، خيلي ناچيز است، حق هم دارند. وقتي مي بينم در چه فلاكتي زندگي مي كنند، چگونه پول بيشتري از آنها طلب كنم؟"

مهري و خانواده اش در اين هفت - هشت ماهي كه به هرات آمده اند، آنقدر دچار بي پولي هاي شديد شدند كه به ناچار چرخ خياطي هاي شان را يكي پس از ديگري فروختند و حالا از آن هشت چرخ فقط يكي مانده كه مهري گاهي با آن براي اين و آن لباس مي دوزد. مهري مي گويد: زندگي در هرات برايم غير قابل تحمل شده، اما هنوز هم مي ترسم به ايران برگردم، مي ترسم كه برادرهايم، محمد را بكشند.

ادامه داستان

يك هفته بعد دوباره الهه را جلوي كنسولگري ايران مي‌بينم. ذوق زده برگه عبورش را نشانم مي‌دهد و مي‌گويد: "بالاخره گرفتم، همين امروز" دوباره مثل روز اولي كه ديدمش، بغض مي كند و بريده بريده حرف مي زند:" از تلفن كنسولگري به مادرم در مشهد تلفن زدم، بعد از سه سال صدايش را مي شنيدم، اما از زور گريه نمي توانستم حرف بزنم. هم من گريه مي كردم و هم مادرم. يكي از كارمندان كنسولگري كه ديد هق هق گريه نمي گذارد حرف بزنم، گوشي را از دستم گرفت و از مادرم خواست كه مدارك مورد نياز را براي صدور برگه عبور براي آنها فاكس كند تا به من برگه عبور بدهند. مادرم هم خيلي زود مدارك را فرستاد."

مرد جواني كه در كنارش ايستاده، مي گويد: " الهه ! تو كه اين همه صبر كردي، چند روز ديگر هم صبر كن" مي گويد: "شوهرم است، من مي‌خواهم همين امروز به مشهد بازگردم، اما او موافق نيست." رو به شوهرش مي‌گويم: "چرا نمي گذاري همين امروز برود؟ نگاهي به سرتا پاي همسرش مي اندازد و مي‌گويد: "لباس ها و كفش هاي پاره اش را ببينيد، نمي خواهم خانواده اش بعد از چند سال با اين وضع ببينندش، اگر چند روز را هم تحمل كند، پولي قرض مي كنم و با يك لباس آبرو مندانه راهي اش مي كنم."

اول قرار است، الهه به ايران برود، بعد هم همسرش: " مسئولان كنسولگري به من قول داده اند به خاطر همسر ايراني ام به من كمك كنند تا زودتر به ايران بروم." دوباره رو به الهه مي گويد: "خواهش مي كنم سه - چهار روز ديگر هم صبر كن. " الهه كه پهناي صورتش را اشك پوشانده، مي گويد: "لباس نو را مي خواهم چكار؟ من خانه ام را در ايران مي خواهم . فقط همين. " و همان روز مي‌رود ايران.

Dastan e Fingerprint

2005-09-30T15:02:00.000-07:00

OOmadam , neshahstam posht e ein jaabe jadoo va didam e-mail oomadeh ke dobraeh bayad beram baray e fingerprint.Yehoo va raftam. Va raftan be maani vaghee kalameh ke yehoo pahn mishi oon vasat va na kesi hast ke jamet koneh va na khodet mitooni oon dast va pa ro az az oon vasat jam koni.

15 mah gozashteh az dafeh ghabl ke fingerprint kardam, 15 mah e azegar ke man cheshmam be dar dar entezar residan name check az FBI khoshk shodeh. 15 mah pish ke raftam , kheili khoshhal boodam, Ba del shad raftam too oon sakhtemoon ghouz mit va hame chi ham khoob va sari pish raft. Badesh ke oomadim biroon Brandon ro didam, vakilam. Goft bavaresh nemishe ke cheghad case man dareh sari va khoob pish mireh. Nemidoonam bayad ye cheshm ghorbooni ghad abolhol be khodam vasal mikardam ya che ghalati mikardam ke jelooye telesm sang shodan case green card ro begiram.Agha ein case yehoo telesm shod. Digeh azash khabari nasho ke nashod. Man ham hey zang zadam be FBI ke behem began 4.7 million cases in process daran va 4 mah tool mikesheh ke e-mail man ro baz konan age man inquiry konam.

Va hala baad az 15 mah , baz ham manam kathy geda ke neshasteh einja va az dargah FBI gedaee mikoneh.Oon ham chi gedaee esm khodesh ke yeki baragardeh , begeh baba be pir va peighambar ein dokhtareh na criminal, na terrorist , na ghatel, na nemidoonam har chiz digeh hastesh. Yeki migeh: zaboon nadari khodet beheshoon begi?

Man migam: zaboon daram vali goosh e shenava einrooza kameh.

اومدم ، نشستم پشت اين جعبه جادو و ديدم ايميل امده که دو باره بايد برم برای ِ fingerprint.يهو وا رفتم. وا رفتن به مانی واقعی کلمه که يهو پهن ميشی اون وسط و نه کسی هست که جمعت کنه و نه خودت ميتونی اون دست و پا رو از از اون وسط جمع کنی. ۱۵ ماه گذشته از دفعه قبل که fingerprint کردم، ۱۵ ماه ِ ازگار که من چشمام به در در انتظار رسيدن نام چک از FBI خشک شده.

۱۵ ماه پيش که رفتم ، خيلی خوشحال بودم، با دل شاد رفتم تو اون ساختمون قوزميت و همه چی هم خوب و سری پيش رفت. بعدش که اومديم بيرون Brandon رو ديدم، وکيلم. گفت باورش نميشه که چقدر پرونده من داره سريع و خوب پيش ميره. نميدونم بايد يه چشم قربونی قد ابوالهول به خودم وصل ميکردم يا چه غلطی ميکردم که جلوی طلسم سنگ شدن پرونده ام رو بگيرم.آقا اين پرونده طلسم شد. ديگه ازش خبری نشو که نشد. من هم هی زنگ زدم به FBI که بهم بگن ۴.۷ ميليون cases اين پروسه دارن و ۴ ماه طول ميکشه که ِ-ميل من رو باز کنن اگه من inquiry کنم. و حالا بعد از ۱۵ ماه ، باز هم منم kathy گدا که نشسته اينجا و از درگاه FBI گدايی ميکنه.اون هم چی گدايی ا اسم خودش که يکی،برگرده بگه بابا به پير و پيغمبر اين دختره نه criminal، نه terrorist ، نه قاتل، نه نميدونم هر چيز ديگه هستش.

يکی ميگه: زبون نداری خودت بهشون بگی؟ من ميگم: زبون دارم ولی گوش ِ شنوا اينروزا کمه.

Flightplan

2005-09-29T14:05:00.000-07:00

Flightplan is a good thriller movie. The writer sets up a good twist that does not reveal itself till the every end of Act 2 and that makes it powerful. However to me it sounded that the writer has run out of some ideas on how to expand the Act II and may be that was why that Jodie Foster attacked the bearded Moselm guy. That was so cliche in nowadays world and the reaction of the one American guy may be was another outrageous one.
The part that Jodie talked to the therapist and said that her husband was very unhappy and that she seemed delluisonal about her kid was kind of strange to me. I was about to beleieve that may be she has imagined all these and there has been no baby eventhough I saw Julia myself.
I saw on the news that Flight attendants outraged over Jodie Foster film. That is ridiculous ... in any industry, job, function , there is bribery and there are people that go out of their ways when they smell money. If that's the case no body should make any movies fearing that sb. out there might be offended.

The Arba guy really needed an aplogu and Jodie did not offfer one ... that was not v. human ...

Sep 28, 2005 — LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Labor unions representing most of the nation's 90,000 flight attendants have urged their members to boycott a new Jodie Foster film that portrays a flight attendant and a U.S. air marshal as terrorists.

They said that casting cabin crew members as villains in the movie "Flightplan" was irresponsible in light of heightened security concerns since the September 11, 2001 attacks, in which suicide hijackers used airliners as guided missiles.

The Walt Disney Co. film, which was the No. 1 release at the North American box office last weekend, stars Foster as an airline passenger who awakens from an in-flight nap to find her young daughter missing. It turns out that one of the flight attendants aboard is involved in a terrorist plot hatched by the plane's air marshal.

A union statement issued on Tuesday also complained that other flight attendants in the film are shown as being "rude, unhelpful and uncaring."

"This depiction of flight attendants is an outrage," said Association of Flight Attendants (AFA) International President Patricia Friend. "Flight attendants continue to be the first line of defense on an aircraft and put their lives on the line day after day for the safety of passengers."

An AFA spokeswoman in Washington said the unions worry that moviegoers will take away impressions that will make it more difficult for flight attendants to "earn the trust and respect of passengers."

"It's just so irresponsible," the spokeswoman, Corey Caldwell, told Reuters on Wednesday.

She said the portrayal of airline cabin crew members as evil-doers adds further insult to long-standing Hollywood stereotypes that have depicted flight attendants as sexualized bubble heads or as harsh, humorless disciplinarians.

A Disney spokesman said that in making "Flightplan," which grossed nearly $25 million last weekend, "there was absolutely no intention on the part of the studio or filmmakers to create anything but a great action thriller."

Farsi Books

2005-09-28T13:23:00.000-07:00

http://www.farsibooksonline.blogspot.com/

AFI announces Top 25 Film Scores

2005-09-27T16:50:00.000-07:00

SoundtrackNet : News : AFI announces Top 25 Film Scores at Hollywood Bowl: "The full list of the AFI Top 25 Film Scores follows:
25. How the West Was Won (Newman)
24. On Golden Pond (Grusin)
23. The Mission (Morricone)
22. On the Waterfront (Bernstein, L.)
21. Ben Hur (Rozsa)
20. Pink Panther (Mancini)
19. Streetcar Named Desire (North)
18. Planet of the Apes (Goldsmith)
17. To Kill A Mockingbird (Bernstein, E.)
16. Sunset Boulevard (Waxman)
15. Out of Africa (Barry)
14. E.T. (Williams)
13. King Kong (Steiner)
12. Vertigo (Herrmann)
11. Adventures of Robin Hood (Korngold)
10. High Noon (Tiomkin)
9. Chinatown (Goldsmith)
8. Magnificent Seven (Bernstein, E.)
7. Laura (Raksin)
6. Jaws (Williams)
5. Godfather (Rota)
4. Psycho (Herrmann)
3. Lawrence of Arabia (Jarre)
2. Gone With The Wind (Steiner)
1. Star Wars (Williams)"

Some Latin/Spanish Movies ...

2005-09-26T13:04:00.000-07:00

There is Alejandro Amenabar, the exceptionally gifted young director who has helped bring Spain to the forefront of world cinema.

Three of Amenabar’s movies that I love:
“Abre los Ojos” is about rich and handsome Cesar, who wakes up the morning after his 25th birthday to find both his face and his life horribly distorted. This movie inspired the Hollywood remake, “Vanilla Sky.”

“Tesis” is about Angela, a student writing a thesis on violence in the media, who discovers a snuff film during her research. She tracks down the killers and is herself hunted down as she gets closer to uncovering the truth.

“Mar Adentro,” is based on the true story of Spanish quadraplegic Ramon Sampedro,
played by Javier Bardem, and his 30-year battle to be allowed to die with dignity. That was an the case of Eutencia that I felt later about my little ghoori.

Argentina, “El Abrazo Partido,” a charming comedy by Daniel Burman (both writer and director , born in Argentina in 1973)set in a Buenos Aires shopping mall. It tells the story of Ariel, a college dropout who hopes to escape working behind the counter at his mother’s lingerie store. But first, he must agree to a long-overdue reunion with the father he has been running away from all his life.

Chile, features “Subterra,” an epic romance by Marcelo Ferrari. The film is set in the mining town of Lota, Chile, in 1897. It’s about a workers’ uprising that takes place in what was then the largest coal mine in the world.

Mexico, “La Ley de Herodes” by Luis Estrada. A savage satire of political corruption, the film received nine Ariel Awards in 2000, including Best Direction and Screenplay.

“Te Doy Mis Ojos” is about Pilar, who leaves her abusive husband, Antonio, and takes her son, Juan, to live with her uncomprehending sister. Desperate to win his wife back, he sends her presents and undergoes therapy. Directed by Iciar Bollain.She's also the writer.Born in Madrid in 1967, Iciar Bollain has worked as leading actress in selected films like Sur, El (1983) by Victor Erice, Malaventura (1988) by Manuél Gutiérrez Aragón, Paraguas para tres, Un (1992) by Felipe Vega, Land and Freedom (1995) by Ken Loach, Leo (2000) by Jose Luis Borau, nominated for Best Actress by the Spanish Academy Awards,Nos miran (2002), or just to be released Noche del hermano, La (2005). In 1991 she became a partner of film production company La Iguana (Producciones La Iguana S.L. [es])writing and directing since then both documentaries and fiction films. In 1995 she wrote and directed her feature film debut, Hola, ¿estás sola? (1995) awarded among others with Best New Director and Audience Award in Valladolid International Film Festival and was nominated for Best Directorial Debut at Goya Awards Spanish Film Academy. The film became one of Spain's 1996 box office hits. Flores de otro mundo (1999) co-written with award winning novelist Julio Llamazares, was her second feature film and was awarded at Cannes Film Festival 1999, Best Film in the International Critics´ Week. The film was theatrically released in Spain during May 1999 and it became an acclaimed audience's and critics' choice. Te doy mis ojos (2003) (Take my eyes), has been her latest film as writer and director, winner of 7 Spanish Academy Goya Awards, including Best Film, among many other international awards. She is now working on the scrip of her new film with views to go on production by 2006.

And “Extranjeras” is a documentary by Helena Taberna about various immigrant women in Madrid.

The Ciclo Goya is a series of films that have won Spain’s equivalent of the Oscars: “Los Lunes al Sol” with Javier Bardem; “Todo Sobre Mi Madre” by Pedro Almodovar; the heart-wrenching “El Bola by Achero Manaz;” “La Buena Estrella,” “Dias Contados” and “Nadie Hablara de Nosotros Cuando Hayamos Muerto.” and "Sin noticias de Dios"

Le murmure des mots: Pablo Neruda

2005-09-26T11:47:00.000-07:00

Read the poem below ... It affected me deeply... chegooneh ensan be tadrij mimirad ... vaghti gharibeh ha az kenaret rad mishavand va konjkav nemishavu=i ke bebinin posht e an chehreh chist .. vaghti ke fekr mikoni ke safety zone tu haman ast ke mikoni va bas va miharasi az risk .. az tars e az dast dadan e ein routin e hamishegi ke surrounds u and one day will suffocate u ... like this gradual death that Pablo talks about :

Il meurt lentement
Celui qui ne voyage pas,
Celui qui ne lit pas,
Celui qui n'écoute pas de musique,
Celui qui ne sait pas trouver grâce à ses yeux.

Il meurt lentement
Celui qui détruit son amour-propre,
Celui qui ne se laisse jamais aider.

Il meurt lentement
Celui qui devient esclave de l'habitude
Refaisant tous les jours les mêmes chemins,
Celui qui ne change jamais de repère,
Ne se risque jamais à changer la couleur
De ses vêtements
Ou qui ne parle jamais à un inconnu

Il meurt lentement
Celui qui évite la passion
Et son tourbillon d'émotions
Celles qui redonnent la lumière dans les yeux
Et réparent les coeurs blessés

Il meurt lentement
Celui qui ne change pas de cap
Lorsqu'il est malheureux
Au travail ou en amour,
Celui qui ne prend pas de risques
Pour réaliser ses rêves,
Celui qui, pas une seule fois dans sa vie,
N'a fui les conseils sensés.

Vis maintenant !

Risque-toi aujourd'hui !

Agis tout de suite !

Ne te laisse pas mourir lentement !
Ne te prive pas d'être heureux ! "

Rabbi: Katrina punishment to the U.S. for supporting pullout

2005-09-07T15:42:00.000-07:00

Rabbi: Katrina punishment to the U.S. for supporting pullout -
I just can't beleive that any one -religuous/non religous/bigot whatever- can consider Katerina God's paunishment ... what has it all to do with the poor people of Louisiana?!!

Dood az kaleh adam dar meiad age shakh dar neaiad!

Rabbi: Katrina punishment to the U.S. for supporting pullout
9/7/2005 9:00:00 PM GMT

The Israeli rabbi Ovadia Yosef is known for his racist remarks against Muslims and Arabs.

Hurricane Katrina is God punishment to the U.S. for supporting Gaza withdrawal, Israel Rabbi, Ovadia Yosef, said in comments published Wednesday by Ynetnews.

In his weekly sermon, the rabbi said: “There was a tsunami and there are terrible natural disasters, because there isn’t enough Torah study… black people reside there (in New Orleans). Blacks will study the Torah? (God said) let’s bring a tsunami and drown them.”

“Hundreds of thousands remained homeless. Tens of thousands have been killed. All of this because they have no God,” said the rabbi, known for his racist comments against Arabs and Muslims.

“Bush was behind the (evacuation of) Gush Katif (Gaza Strip),” he said.

"He encouraged Sharon to expel Gush Katif…we had 15,000 people expelled here, and there 150,000 (were expelled). It was God’s retribution..God does not short-change anyone.”

The rabbi proceeded to explain in detail why Americans deserved the Hurricane.

“He (Bush) perpetrated the expulsion. Now everyone is mad at him…this is his punishment for what he did to Gush Katif, and everyone else who did as he told them, their time will come, too,” the rabbi said.

"Rubbish"
In a talk with Ynet, Knesset Member Eliezer Cohen (National Union) rejected Ovadia’s comments as “rubbish”.

“I know meteorology well enough not to believe such rubbish,” he said.

Also Knesset Member Ronny Brison said: “What, God is cross-eyed? He metes out punishments at the wrong place? We’re sick and tired of Rabbi Ovadia’s primitive worldview. He already did his part, he can remove himself from public life.”

The rabbi’s remarks echoed what many ultra-Orthodox followers believe, that recent natural disasters in the U.S. are God’s punishment to the U.S. for its support to PM Ariel Sharon’s Gaza pullout.

Something to know about: Freedom Film Society

2005-09-02T12:07:00.000-07:00

Check it out:Freedom Film Society

Independent Online Edition > Interviews : app4

2005-09-02T12:05:00.000-07:00

Independent Online Edition > Interviews : app4

I saw this movie: The Asylum. It's kind of a pointless story about a woman that has nothing to do but smoking and drinking and then all of a sudden is flared up by a mentally ill man and has sex with him in the garden while all the guards and his own son can be watching her. But nothing happens and ironically she does it again and again. It gives a feeling that the rest are blind may be ...

She leaves her family to join the mad man and goes down to the buttom. The police finds her and her husband forgives her! But she has the lust inside her (understandable) but when becuase of losing a great sex partner, she does not notice he own son drowning in front of her eyes ... u just go wowwww!

The only interesting charcter is Peter the new chief of mental hospital and how he handles everone the way he wants ... that's interesting ..

Definitely not worth 10 bucks , dark, pessimist and pointless!

Natasha Richardson: Pursuit of passion
Natasha Richardson tells James Mottram about escaping unwanted attention and finding fulfilment at 42
Published: 02 September 2005
Politely inquiring whether I mind if she smokes, Natasha Richardson slips a long, thin cigarette from an elegant silver case and lights it. With rigid deportment, and pronunciation to match, it's not hard to guess that she belongs to one of England's most revered thespian dynasties. Following her grandfather Sir Michael Redgrave and her mother and aunt, Vanessa and Lynn Redgrave, Richardson - along with her younger sister, Nip/Tuck star Joely - represents the third generation in the family business. With her late father being the revered director Tony Richardson, it's a wonder she wasn't crushed by the weight of expectation.

"I know the pressures of being the daughter of a great actress," Richardson says. "But it's inspiring. You learn so much that other people don't get to learn until later on. My father being a director, I learnt a real work ethic. You think: 'One day, I'd like to be as good as that.' But when I was starting out professionally, I had a level of attention put on me that I didn't deserve or wasn't ready for. And it was hard, particularly in England, to make my way. That's partly why I moved to New York, where you can be who you are for your work and not so much to do with family baggage."

Richardson began her career in earnest after winning a bit-part as a "young whore" in the 1984 TV series Ellis Island - where she first encountered actor Liam Neeson, the man she would eventually marry a decade later. Her breakthrough came two years later, when she played Mary Shelley for Ken Russell in Gothic. "It was in at the deep end," she recalls, describing working with the maverick director as "an insane experience". It led Paul Schrader to cast her as the lead in 1988's Patty Hearst, his story of the infamous kidnap victim. They reunited on his Ian McEwan adaptation The Comfort of Strangers in 1990, the same year Richardson took the lead in a Harold Pinter-adapted version of Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale.

These were fruitful times. But Hollywood being what it is, executives soon sought out fresher faces. While she has appeared in the odd hit (the 1998 remake of The Parent Trap) and the odd arty venture (Ethan Hawke's directorial effort Chelsea Walls), Richardson has found greater success on stage. From her 1993 Tony-nominated title role performance in Eugene O'Neill's Anna Christie to her Tony-winning performance as Sally Bowles in Sam Mendes's Cabaret five years later, Richardson appears happier out of the full glare of the limelight.

Hollywood is not a happy hunting ground for her. While Joely grabs the headlines, Liam the critical acclaim, Natasha has been left to play two-dimensional support parts, such as her lady of leisure in the Jennifer Lopez vehicle Maid in Manhattan.

This might explain why she clung on to Asylum as if it were a life buoy. The adaptation of Patrick McGrath's novel has been some eight years in the making, and Richardson has been there from the beginning. Stars, studios, scripts, directors and financiers have come and gone, but Richardson was determined to get it made.

"I was sent the book when it was pre-US publication," she says. "I couldn't put it down. I just loved the story and I just had to play the part. I couldn't let anyone else do this. It was sheer burning passion and determination. I just couldn't let it go."

Wisely so: the character of Stella is as juicy a role as Richardson has had on screen in years. Set in 1950s England, against the backdrop of an institution for the criminally insane, Asylum sees Stella stray from her repressed psychiatrist husband (Hugh Bonneville) to begin an affair with a violent patient named Edgar (Martin Csokas).

"I was influenced by the fact that this is very much a story of its time," says Richardson. "I don't think this story could happen outside 1950s class-ridden suffocating 'gin-and-tonic and tea-on-the-lawn' England. Here is this woman living in a very constricted society, with no outlet for her intelligence or her unfulfilled sexuality. She has no job - no way out. And then it's like a bomb exploding."

After leaving her family to follow her passions, Stella finds herself trapped with Edgar. "I understand why Stella stays with him, despite his beating her," says Richardson. "I think she loves him and I think women are often in the caretaker role. I think she believes she can help him and make a difference."

Aware that "a couple of more years and I would've been too old for it", the 42-year-old Richardson knew that shepherding the film into production was the only way she'd get the role. "I thought: 'Nobody is going to offer me this.' It's a miracle that they let me do this, a miracle. It's so difficult to get a film financed and I'm not a huge name. I'm not Nicole Kidman. The chances of this coming my way were very slim."

After numerous changes, Richardson eventually managed to rope in Patrick Marber, for whom she had just acted in the Broadway version of his play Closer, to adapt the novel. Then David Mackenzie, the up-and-coming director of Young Adam, was hired. Even then, it wasn't plain sailing. "The film got shut down in the middle, and I nearly fell apart," admits Richardson.

Credited as an executive producer on the film, she denies this allowed her to dictate proceedings - even when it came to the numerous sex scenes. "I'm an actress and I'm working for the director," she sniffs. "David Mackenzie wanted them to be as real as possible. I thought it was really intrinsic to the story; that it shouldn't be glamorised." Stella's first sexual encounter with Edgar is on a greenhouse floor, strewn with broken glass. "What can I tell you?" she shrugs. "It was 90 per cent real, including my back, which was cut to ribbons."

The role of Edgar was originally meant for Neeson, until he dropped out to make Kinsey. Did it cause any friction between them? "I think it's just how it was meant to be," she says, stiffening a little. "You can say it would have been a different film. As it is, this is the movie we made and the past is the past."

For the most part, Richardson paints a rosy picture of life with Neeson. Work is not strictly left in the office, she says. "I'm in bed and he'll say: 'Do you want me to go over your lines with you?' Or he'll say: 'Will you read a script I've been offered?'"

How would she react if he vehemently opposed her taking a role? "If I was absolutely set on something, I don't think he would shake me. But I don't think it would occur to that degree, as we're on the same page. There have been moments when he's read something and said: 'I don't think this is any good. I don't think you should do this.'"

After their brief encounter on Ellis Island, it was Richardson who sought out Neeson to star with her in Anna Christie. Richardson soon left her producer-husband of nine years, Robert Fox, for the actor, something of a cause célèbre at the time. While the press had a field day, Neeson and Richardson had their revenge in October 1998, when they successfully sued two Fleet Street papers for suggesting their marriage was on the rocks - donating the libel damages to the victims of that year's bombing in Omagh, Northern Ireland.

Living outside New York, on a huge ranch, near the town of Millbrook, they have two sons, 10-year-old Michael and eight-year-old Jack. Richardson admits there are "little twinklings" of the acting gene in one of her sons, "but I'll try to stamp it out!" She is dead set against her children being seduced by acting. "They'd be the sons of a great actor," she says. "And that's quite a gorilla to carry on your back. This profession is very tough and not many people make it , and even if you do, then you can still get slapped in the face constantly. So I hope they do something else - but if they're determined, so be it."

Richardson knows what it is like to be an acting hopeful and the offspring of famous parents. Her parents divorced when she was four. When she was 11, she found out that her father was bisexual. At the time, she was upset "because of the social stigma", but it soon ceased to be a problem. Richardson died in 1991 of Aids-related complications, but not without a fight. "My father would get on his tennis court every day and hit balls, come rain or shine, even when he was practically hobbled because his feet were so swollen and so covered in Kaposi's," she says.

As she is now a supporter of Aids charity amfAR, I wonder how her mother's staunch socialist views, campaigning on behalf of the Worker's Revolutionary Party and so on, impacted upon her social conscience. "As I grew up in that world and saw how much it affected her world and how much it affected our childhood, it made me very aware of politics," she says. "Of course, I'm a citizen and I have my own private feelings and thoughts, but I don't care to share them."

Despite living in the US, Richardson remains close to her family. As if to prove it, she recently completed work on The White Countess, the last Merchant/Ivory production to roll before the death of producer Ismail Merchant, alongside her mother and aunt.

The film is set in 1930s Shanghai, and Richardson plays a Russian countess who is drawn towards Ralph Fiennes's blind former US diplomat. "It's a huge, romantic epic, very David Lean-Casablanca-esque," she says. "Basically, it's about two completely dispossessed people, who have lost other things in their lives, and eventually find each other. My mother plays my aunt, confusingly! And my aunt plays my mother-in-law!"

The only previous time Richardson worked with her mother was in a 1986 stage production of The Seagull, where she garnered an award for most promising newcomer. "I was intimidated then," she says, "but doing this movie, it was great to be together."

After years of spending time in the shadows of the Redgrave clan, it seems as if Natasha Richardson is finally staking a claim to be remembered as one of the family's great actresses.

'Asylum' opens on 9 September; 'The White Countess' is released on 25 November

Politely inquiring whether I mind if she smokes, Natasha Richardson slips a long, thin cigarette from an elegant silver case and lights it. With rigid deportment, and pronunciation to match, it's not hard to guess that she belongs to one of England's most revered thespian dynasties. Following her grandfather Sir Michael Redgrave and her mother and aunt, Vanessa and Lynn Redgrave, Richardson - along with her younger sister, Nip/Tuck star Joely - represents the third generation in the family business. With her late father being the revered director Tony Richardson, it's a wonder she wasn't crushed by the weight of expectation.

"I know the pressures of being the daughter of a great actress," Richardson says. "But it's inspiring. You learn so much that other people don't get to learn until later on. My father being a director, I learnt a real work ethic. You think: 'One day, I'd like to be as good as that.' But when I was starting out professionally, I had a level of attention put on me that I didn't deserve or wasn't ready for. And it was hard, particularly in England, to make my way. That's partly why I moved to New York, where you can be who you are for your work and not so much to do with family baggage."

Richardson began her career in earnest after winning a bit-part as a "young whore" in the 1984 TV series Ellis Island - where she first encountered actor Liam Neeson, the man she would eventually marry a decade later. Her breakthrough came two years later, when she played Mary Shelley for Ken Russell in Gothic. "It was in at the deep end," she recalls, describing working with the maverick director as "an insane experience". It led Paul Schrader to cast her as the lead in 1988's Patty Hearst, his story of the infamous kidnap victim. They reunited on his Ian McEwan adaptation The Comfort of Strangers in 1990, the same year Richardson took the lead in a Harold Pinter-adapted version of Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale.

These were fruitful times. But Hollywood being what it is, executives soon sought out fresher faces. While she has appeared in the odd hit (the 1998 remake of The Parent Trap) and the odd arty venture (Ethan Hawke's directorial effort Chelsea Walls), Richardson has found greater success on stage. From her 1993 Tony-nominated title role performance in Eugene O'Neill's Anna Christie to her Tony-winning performance as Sally Bowles in Sam Mendes's Cabaret five years later, Richardson appears happier out of the full glare of the limelight.

Hollywood is not a happy hunting ground for her. While Joely grabs the headlines, Liam the critical acclaim, Natasha has been left to play two-dimensional support parts, such as her lady of leisure in the Jennifer Lopez vehicle Maid in Manhattan.

This might explain why she clung on to Asylum as if it were a life buoy. The adaptation of Patrick McGrath's novel has been some eight years in the making, and Richardson has been there from the beginning. Stars, studios, scripts, directors and financiers have come and gone, but Richardson was determined to get it made.

"I was sent the book when it was pre-US publication," she says. "I couldn't put it down. I just loved the story and I just had to play the part. I couldn't let anyone else do this. It was sheer burning passion and determination. I just couldn't let it go."

Wisely so: the character of Stella is as juicy a role as Richardson has had on screen in years. Set in 1950s England, against the backdrop of an institution for the criminally insane, Asylum sees Stella stray from her repressed psychiatrist husband (Hugh Bonneville) to begin an affair with a violent patient named Edgar (Martin Csokas).

"I was influenced by the fact that this is very much a story of its time," says Richardson. "I don't think this story could happen outside 1950s class-ridden suffocating 'gin-and-tonic and tea-on-the-lawn' England. Here is this woman living in a very constricted society, with no outlet for her intelligence or her unfulfilled sexuality. She has no job - no way out. And then it's like a bomb exploding."

After leaving her family to follow her passions, Stella finds herself trapped with Edgar. "I understand why Stella stays with him, despite his beating her," says Richardson. "I think she loves him and I think women are often in the caretaker role. I think she believes she can help him and make a difference."

Aware that "a couple of more years and I would've been too old for it", the 42-year-old Richardson knew that shepherding the film into production was the only way she'd get the role. "I thought: 'Nobody is going to offer me this.' It's a miracle that they let me do this, a miracle. It's so difficult to get a film financed and I'm not a huge name. I'm not Nicole Kidman. The chances of this coming my way were very slim."

After numerous changes, Richardson eventually managed to rope in Patrick Marber, for whom she had just acted in the Broadway version of his play Closer, to adapt the novel. Then David Mackenzie, the up-and-coming director of Young Adam, was hired. Even then, it wasn't plain sailing. "The film got shut down in the middle, and I nearly fell apart," admits Richardson.
Credited as an executive producer on the film, she denies this allowed her to dictate proceedings - even when it came to the numerous sex scenes. "I'm an actress and I'm working for the director," she sniffs. "David Mackenzie wanted them to be as real as possible. I thought it was really intrinsic to the story; that it shouldn't be glamorised." Stella's first sexual encounter with Edgar is on a greenhouse floor, strewn with broken glass. "What can I tell you?" she shrugs. "It was 90 per cent real, including my back, which was cut to ribbons."

The role of Edgar was originally meant for Neeson, until he dropped out to make Kinsey. Did it cause any friction between them? "I think it's just how it was meant to be," she says, stiffening a little. "You can say it would have been a different film. As it is, this is the movie we made and the past is the past."

For the most part, Richardson paints a rosy picture of life with Neeson. Work is not strictly left in the office, she says. "I'm in bed and he'll say: 'Do you want me to go over your lines with you?' Or he'll say: 'Will you read a script I've been offered?'"

How would she react if he vehemently opposed her taking a role? "If I was absolutely set on something, I don't think he would shake me. But I don't think it would occur to that degree, as we're on the same page. There have been moments when he's read something and said: 'I don't think this is any good. I don't think you should do this.'"

After their brief encounter on Ellis Island, it was Richardson who sought out Neeson to star with her in Anna Christie. Richardson soon left her producer-husband of nine years, Robert Fox, for the actor, something of a cause célèbre at the time. While the press had a field day, Neeson and Richardson had their revenge in October 1998, when they successfully sued two Fleet Street papers for suggesting their marriage was on the rocks - donating the libel damages to the victims of that year's bombing in Omagh, Northern Ireland.

Living outside New York, on a huge ranch, near the town of Millbrook, they have two sons, 10-year-old Michael and eight-year-old Jack. Richardson admits there are "little twinklings" of the acting gene in one of her sons, "but I'll try to stamp it out!" She is dead set against her children being seduced by acting. "They'd be the sons of a great actor," she says. "And that's quite a gorilla to carry on your back. This profession is very tough and not many people make it , and even if you do, then you can still get slapped in the face constantly. So I hope they do something else - but if they're determined, so be it."

Richardson knows what it is like to be an acting hopeful and the offspring of famous parents. Her parents divorced when she was four. When she was 11, she found out that her father was bisexual. At the time, she was upset "because of the social stigma", but it soon ceased to be a problem. Richardson died in 1991 of Aids-related complications, but not without a fight. "My father would get on his tennis court every day and hit balls, come rain or shine, even when he was practically hobbled because his feet were so swollen and so covered in Kaposi's," she says.

As she is now a supporter of Aids charity amfAR, I wonder how her mother's staunch socialist views, campaigning on behalf of the Worker's Revolutionary Party and so on, impacted upon her social conscience. "As I grew up in that world and saw how much it affected her world and how much it affected our childhood, it made me very aware of politics," she says. "Of course, I'm a citizen and I have my own private feelings and thoughts, but I don't care to share them."

Despite living in the US, Richardson remains close to her family. As if to prove it, she recently completed work on The White Countess, the last Merchant/Ivory production to roll before the death of producer Ismail Merchant, alongside her mother and aunt.

The film is set in 1930s Shanghai, and Richardson plays a Russian countess who is drawn towards Ralph Fiennes's blind former US diplomat. "It's a huge, romantic epic, very David Lean-Casablanca-esque," she says. "Basically, it's about two completely dispossessed people, who have lost other things in their lives, and eventually find each other. My mother plays my aunt, confusingly! And my aunt plays my mother-in-law!"

The only previous time Richardson worked with her mother was in a 1986 stage production of The Seagull, where she garnered an award for most promising newcomer. "I was intimidated then," she says, "but doing this movie, it was great to be together."

After years of spending time in the shadows of the Redgrave clan, it seems as if Natasha Richardson is finally staking a claim to be remembered as one of the family's great actresses.

'Asylum' opens on 9 September; 'The White Countess' is released on 25 November

Venice Film Festival Films

2005-09-02T11:58:00.000-07:00

Independent Online Edition > Europe : app3

Constant Gradener by John Le Carre'

2005-09-02T11:53:00.000-07:00

Guardian Unlimited | The Guardian | Le Carr� film wins critical acclaim

Le Carré film wins critical acclaim

Patrick Barkham and Sophie Kirkham
Friday September 2, 2005
The Guardian

Cinematic success has not come easily to John le Carré since Richard Burton won an Oscar nomination for The Spy Who Came in From the Cold. From The Russia House to The Little Drummer Girl, few of the 74-year-old author's bestselling thrillers have made an acclaimed transition to the screen, although Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy became a BBC television classic.
But 40 years after his biggest film hit, Le Carré is savouring the prospect of a commercial and critical triumph with his five-year-old novel The Constant Gardener, which has been made into a film starring Ralph Fiennes and Rachel Weisz.

An excoriating account of the corrupt practices of pharmaceutical companies and complicit western governments in modern-day Africa, the film was directed by the Brazilian Fernando Meirelles, nominated for an Oscar for City of God, his account of street life in the slums of Rio de Janeiro.
Opening in the US this week, it has met with a rapturous reception.

"This is a supremely well-executed piece of popular entertainment that is likely to linger in your mind and may even trouble your conscience," said AO Scott in the New York Times.

"A blistering drama that is positively electrifying," said the New York Observer.

Ain't It Cool News, the influential online film site, has made it its film of the year.

Le Carré has never written the screenplays of his novels and some critics have suggested his intricate thrillers do not transfer easily to cinema screens.

The Constant Gardener has been tackled by Jeffrey Caine, whose screenwriting career began with Bergerac and Dempsey & Makepeace before he became a co-writer on one of the more successful films in the Bond franchise, GoldenEye. Last year he wrote the screenplay for Inside I'm Dancing.

Le Carré's novel tells the story of Justin Quayle, a British diplomat in Nairobi, who unravels a pharmaceuticals company conspiracy while investigating the murder of his wife, Tessa, a political activist.

Told through a series of flashbacks, what emerges is the love story between the couple set against an international drugs scandal.

There is already talk of Oscar nominations for Fiennes and Weisz, who lead a cast which includes Bill Nighy and Pete Postlethwaite.

The British producer, Simon Channing Williams, a longtime collaborator of Mike Leigh, wrote to Le Carré before the novel was published in 2001 to ask for the film rights.

He believes one of the keys to making the film work was to not try to remain slavishly faithful to the book, but to make a film in its own right.

"I felt it was an immensely important book and wonderfully angry, and I was determined that it should be done by a British producer rather than a US studio," he said.

He also paid tribute to Caine, whose wife died shortly before he began work on the screenplay: "There was this amazing empathy from this man who had lost his wife who was writing a story about a man who had lost his wife, and he did a fantastic job."

Le Carré has praised the end result and told American journalists this week: "Unusually in anything of mine that I've watched being made, [The Constant Gardener] acquired its own heart and its own truth.

"It's pretty rare with a movie where you suddenly, just for a moment, feel you're putting your hand on somebody's heart, and I had that feeling ... I really couldn't put a cigarette paper between my imagining of the Ralph Fiennes part and the way Ralph played it."

The Constant Gardener, which has been tipped to win the Golden Lion prize at the Venice film festival, opens in the UK on October 7 and will open this year's London Film Festival on October 19.

William Goldman, Paul Haggis, David Koepp Topline 'Screenwriting Expo 4,' Nov. 11-13 at L.A. Convention Center

2005-09-02T11:51:00.000-07:00

William Goldman, Paul Haggis, David Koepp Topline 'Screenwriting Expo 4,' Nov. 11-13 at L.A. Convention Center: "William Goldman, Paul Haggis, David Koepp Topline 'Screenwriting Expo 4,' Nov. 11-13 at L.A. Convention Center

This is really important . If you are an aspiring writer anywhere on this globe, try to make to this one. I atteneded it last year and it was FABULOUS! It's a must if u are dead serious!

Nearly 4,000 Convene for World's Largest Screenwriting Conference
LOS ANGELES, Sept. 1 /PRNewswire/ -- The Los Angeles Convention Center will serve as a temporary home to the largest gathering of screenwriters in the world this fall when the annual Hollywood seminar, 'Screenwriting Expo 4,' gets under way the weekend of November 11-13.

The fourth annual Screenwriting Expo, presented by Creative Screenwriting Magazine, attracts nearly 4,000 screenwriters -- novice amateur to seasoned professional -- from around the globe, and as far away as Croatia and New Zealand. Over 320 seminar sessions and panels are offered, consisting of 'A List' screenwriting talent, and world renowned instructors, in addition to story pitch meetings, script analysis, high-powered networking parties, cash prizes, and much more.
Headlining the event will be two-time Academy Award(TM) winner William Goldman ('Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,' 'All the President's Men'), who will make two appearances: once speaking solo, and another with reining champion of blockbuster movie writing David Koepp ('War of the Worlds,' 'Spiderman,' 'Jurassic Park') as they discuss the art, craft, and business of writing for the silver screen. Goldman, the author of such iconic quotes as 'Follow the money,' and 'Nobody knows anything,' is also renowned as an entertaining, and always candid commentator on the world of Hollywood. Additional writers appearing as Guests of Honor include Academy Award(TM) nom"

William Goldman, Paul Haggis, David Koepp Topline 'Screenwriting Expo 4,' Nov. 11-13 at L.A. Convention Center
Thursday September 1, 2:00 pm ET
Nearly 4,000 Convene for World's Largest Screenwriting Conference

LOS ANGELES, Sept. 1 /PRNewswire/ -- The Los Angeles Convention Center will serve as a temporary home to the largest gathering of screenwriters in the world this fall when the annual Hollywood seminar, "Screenwriting Expo 4," gets under way the weekend of November 11-13.
ADVERTISEMENT

The fourth annual Screenwriting Expo, presented by Creative Screenwriting Magazine, attracts nearly 4,000 screenwriters -- novice amateur to seasoned professional -- from around the globe, and as far away as Croatia and New Zealand. Over 320 seminar sessions and panels are offered, consisting of "A List" screenwriting talent, and world renowned instructors, in addition to story pitch meetings, script analysis, high-powered networking parties, cash prizes, and much more.

Headlining the event will be two-time Academy Award(TM) winner William Goldman ("Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," "All the President's Men"), who will make two appearances: once speaking solo, and another with reining champion of blockbuster movie writing David Koepp ("War of the Worlds," "Spiderman," "Jurassic Park") as they discuss the art, craft, and business of writing for the silver screen. Goldman, the author of such iconic quotes as "Follow the money," and "Nobody knows anything," is also renowned as an entertaining, and always candid commentator on the world of Hollywood. Additional writers appearing as Guests of Honor include Academy Award(TM) nominee Paul Haggis ("Crash," "Million Dollar Baby"), Academy Award(TM) nominee Susannah Grant ("Erin Brockovich," "28 Days"), John August ("Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," "Go"), Ehren Kruger ("The Brothers Grimm," "The Ring"), Don Roos ("The Opposite of Sex," "Single White Female") and Joss Whedon ("Buffy the Vampire Slayer," "Toy Story").

Supplementing the featured Guests of Honor will be dozens of the most respected writers, professors, producers, consultants, and academics, including UCLA Screenwriting Dept. Chairman Richard Walter, "Top Gun" co-writer and USC professor, Jack Epps, Jr., author/consultant John Truby, screenwriter William Martell and many, many others.

A returning feature at this year's Expo is the very popular "Creative Screenwriting Open," an actual on-site, weekend-long, adjudicated writing tournament, which concludes with the top ranked scripts performed live at the Expo's closing ceremonies on Sunday, Nov. 13. Over $50,000 in cash and prizes will be awarded for all the contests at the Expo.

To better accommodate the varied skill level of attendees, speaker sessions are categorized accordingly at Beginner, Advanced, or Professional level. Last year the Expo was pleased to have one writer receive a nearly immediate offer on his reality TV.

Only three years old, with annual attendance 4,000 strong, a major reason cited for the Expo's growth has been the affordable admission fee -- $74.95 -- arguably the lowest charge anywhere for a conference of its caliber and magnitude.

Updated speakers, information, registration forms or purchases can be confirmed at www.screenwritingexpo.com, or by calling 1-800-727-6978. Checks and credit cards are accepted.

Available Topic Expert(s): For information on the listed expert(s), click
appropriate link.
Erik Bauer
http://www.profnet.com/ud_public.jsp?userid=10001608

UnderClassMan Review

2005-09-02T11:46:00.000-07:00

Entertainment: Reviews Article | Reuters.com

By Sheri Linden

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Nick Cannon, playing an L.A. cop who goes undercover as a prep school student, provides the few sparks this wan action-comedy can muster.

Scripters David T. Wagner and Brent Goldberg of the dumb "National Lampoon's Van Wilder" and the smart "The Girl Next Door" concoct an implausible, anemic romp in "Underclassman," which might initially entice matriculating crowds before it gets left back.

"Underclassman" would have been music-video director Marcos Siega's feature debut, but when Miramax, in the throes of its end-of-an-era onrush of releases, pushed it back from an early August date, his "Pretty Persuasion" hit theaters first. Through the prism of high school, both films explore -- or at least look at -- moral corruption in Los Angeles' affluent Westside. But where "Persuasion" is a nasty pit bull of an intended satire, "Underclassman" is a goofy puppy that just wants to be loved -- and knows only how to make an unimaginative mess.

Cannon stars as Tracy "Tre" Stokes, a baby-faced bike cop who longs to be a detective like his deceased dad (the family-tradition angle is pounded home, to little effect). His undercover efforts all backfire, to the endless irritation of Capt. Victor Delgado (Cheech Marin), who was just as frustrated with Stokes senior's "all passion, no procedure" approach to policing. The case of a murdered high school student gives Tre a chance to prove himself: He's enlisted to enroll at the kid's ultra-exclusive school and infiltrate the campus movers and shakers.

Something is indeed rotten at the tony Westbury School -- beyond the fact that the students drive Hummers and play rugby. The murdered boy was the school paper's investigative reporter and hot on the trails of a gang of car thieves. As the film limps out the usual cliches to chart Tre's supposedly side-splitting culture clash with wealthy white classmates, he zeros in on campus hotshot Rob Donovan (Shawn Ashmore, of the "X-Men" franchise), who warms to Tre after the newcomer saves his butt on the basketball court.

Detectives Brooks (Lisa Hu) and Gallecki (Ian Gomez) provide hapless support (and, in the latter case, unfortunate bathroom humor) while Tre uncovers the campus' deadly, ridiculous secret. There's also time for romance for the reluctant student, whose pretty Spanish teacher (Roselyn Sanchez) inspires and encourages him -- to put the moves on her. One can only assume she has a way of knowing that he's not really 16.

Cannon ("Drumline") helped to develop the story and serves as an executive producer, but the film feels less like a showcase for the affable performer than a waste of his talents, not to mention those of the rest of the cast. The Vancouver/Los Angeles-shot production has a polished but generic SoCal look, with all tech contributions serviceable.

Cast: Tracy "Tre" Stokes: Nick Cannon; Rob Donovan: Shawn Ashmore; Karen Lopez: Roselyn Sanchez; Lisa Brooks: Kelly Hu; Detective Gallecki: Ian Gomez; Headmaster Powers: Hugh Bonneville; Captain Victor Delgado: Cheech Marin; David Boscoe: Angelo Spizzirri; Alexander: Johnny K. Lewis.

Director: Marcos Siega; Screenwriters: David T. Wagner, Brent Goldberg; Story by: David T. Wagner, Brent Goldberg, Nick Cannon; Producers: Peter Abrams, Robert Levy, Andrew Panay; Executive producers: Nick Cannon, Michael Goldman, Bob Weinstein, Harvey Weinstein, Bob Osher, James Dyer; Director of photography: David Hennings; Production designer: Gary Frutkoff; Music: BT; Co-executive producer: Doug Johnson; Costume designer: Tish Monaghan; Editor: Nicholas C. Smith.

Reuters/Hollywood Reporter

Guardian Unlimited Film | News | Film shoots fall victim to Katrina

2005-09-02T11:44:00.000-07:00

Guardian Unlimited Film | News | Film shoots fall victim to Katrina

Poor Louisiana ... This is another bad news that a major source of their icome might not be that willing to go back after Katerina ...

But I am wondering will LA really go for some tax shortcuts to bring in more local shooting?!

Film shoots fall victim to Katrina

Staff and agencies
Friday September 2, 2005

Louisiana film officials are scrambling to put on a brave face in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, amid claims from Hollywood-based rivals that New Orleans faces years in the wilderness.
At least three high-profile local shoots have been put on hold following the natural disaster, namely Disney's time-travel thriller Deja Vu starring Denzel Washington, Kevin Costner vehicle The Guardian, and Warner Bros' horror picture The Reaping, which stars Hilary Swank and David Morrissey.

Studios ordered all their casts and crews to evacuate the state last Saturday and there is mounting speculation that they will relocate to safer locales rather than return to the ravaged southern region.
Until Katrina struck Louisiana was a booming film centre buoyed by tax incentives that raised local production revenues from $20m (£11m) in 2002 to a projected $425m (£231m) this year.

The state's film overlords have stressed that only 20% of Louisiana was seriously hit by Katrina. "The national media make it seem like the entire state is under water," Chris Stelly of the Louisiana Governor's office of film and television development said.

However, the prognosis from Jack Kyser, chief economist at the Los Angeles Economic Development Corp, was not so rosy. "Louisiana had been on a roll, but they literally came to a crashing halt. New Orleans is not going to be a good location for filming, probably for several years."

Kyser's comments were not surprising. In recent months California has become increasingly vocal in its efforts to lure business back to the Golden State following years of 'runaway' productions to more financially attractive sites like Louisiana, New York, New Mexico, Canada and Eastern Europe.

Californian lawmakers are debating a bill designed to encourage inward investment in the state through subsidised shoots.

Bjork uses festival to launch film

2005-09-02T11:38:00.000-07:00

Scotsman.com News - Latest News - Bjork uses festival to launch film: "Bjork uses festival to launch film

Bjork's latest project has been launched at the Venice Film Festival and it is typically eccentric - a film which sees humans turn into whales.

Bjork's conceptual artist boyfriend Matthew Barney created the film, while the Icelandic-born singer stars with him in it, and has composed the soundtrack.
Drawing Restraint 9 was shot in Nagasaki Bay on board the Japanese ship Nisshin Maru, the mother ship of the Japanese whaling fleet.

And this is crazy that I want see how I look like when I turno into a whale ... that should be fun and I won't need to worry about my big belly anymore ...never saw anything on abs for whales !!! Good news ... but how can I eat that much chocalte and ice cream in water? Ah .. bummer!!!

IOL: Gay cowboy film likely to upset conservative US

2005-09-02T11:32:00.000-07:00

Ah that this is amazing that the filming of the one of the most possible scenarios would outrage the people ... I wonder always why that seeing the naked truth is so difficult? In a 100 years I could not imagine that the people of US can be so narrow minded when it comes to the realities of lives ... well, I just mean some ... there is never a rule for all in my mind ... in any abstract shape or form.

Anyhow, I'm happy Mr. Lee dared to being up this taboo!

The Cave, Red Eye, .. and Miami films!

2005-09-01T10:22:00.000-07:00

While on vacation, I saw a couple of movies:

The cave: An amazing cave indeed . I don't know where they found such an amazing masterpiece of nature. But the story line sucks big time. The story is the famous repitition that this group into this cave and they get eaten by some creatures that have a parasite in their blood. And it just so happens that these creatures are so very much like Alien and that is odd. Made me feel like a rip-off sort of. The writer has tried to write it in a way that you need to see the sequel to understand why these creatures have those numbers on their skins and what has happened to the people at the begining of the movie. I think that's a mistake to hide the vital info. from viewers and hink oh. well .. pay another 10 bucks and I'll show u what I meant!

Don't waste your money on it!

Red eye: Wes craven is good at giving u the thrill and kind of the feel of what happens next ... if u like that thriller feeling even in its most Hollywood fashin , it's a good catch . It just puts you on a roller coaster that u ride on eventhough u know what the end of the road looks like! I think Rachel McAdams has been indeed great!! It was certainly a more challenging role than her role in Wedding crashers playing as a dumb girl indeed that needed a third party to warn her not to marry a selfish jerk!
As for the script, this seems to be the first feature of Carl Ellsworth and seemed a pretty tight script ...it was shorter than normal , I guess. Worth watching!

Liar, liar: Abrilliant example of exgerration of a charcater flaw and therefore brilliant character arch, pretty amusing. I think the scene at the begining that he bounds with the kid but never plays with him is a great setup as makes us passionate for him yet shows his character.

Me, Myself, and Irene: I hated it .. Jim carey made me sick!

Paprazzi: So, so ... just a glimpse of what happens to celebs ..darn frighteneing to lose privacy

Unfaithful:Good setup but unrealistic .... what was the point again?

House Arrest: brilliant .. I loved Jaime lee curtis and the idea of the movie for kids to do such a trick ...

MSG : A slow poison

2005-09-01T10:19:00.000-07:00

From a friend:
Food additive "MSG" is a Slow Poison. Slow Poisoning MSG hides behind 25 or more names, such as "Natural Flavouring". MSG is also in your favourite Tim Horton's and other brand coffee shops! Pass this on to those who still may be unaware or disbelieving of the dangers of MSG. I wondered if there could be an actual chemical causing the massive obesity epidemic, so did a friend of mine, John Erb. He was a research assistant at the University of Waterloo in Ontario, Canada, and spent years working for the government. He made an amazing discovery while going through scientific journals for a book he was writing called "The Slow Poisoning of America". In hundreds of studies around the world, scientists were creating obese mice and rats to use in diet or diabetes test studies. No strain of rat or mice is naturally obese, so the scientists have to create them. They make these morbidly obese creatures by injecting them with MSG when they are first born. The MSG triples the amount of insulin the pancreas creates; causing rats (and humans?) to become obese. They even have a title for the fat rodents they create: "MSG-Treated Rats". I was shocked too. I went to my kitchen, checking the cupboards and the fridge. MSG was in everything! The Campbell's soups, the Hostess Doritos, the Lays flavoured potato chips, Top Ramen, Betty Crocker Hamburger Helper, Heinz canned gravy, Swanson frozen prepared meals, Kraft salad dressings, especially the 'healthy low fat' ones. The items that didn't have MSG marked on the product label had something called ''Hydrolyzed Vegetable Protein'', which is just another name for Monosodium Glutamate. It was shocking to see just how many of the foods we feed our children everyday are filled with this stuff. They hide MSG under many different names in order to fool those who carefully read the ingredient list, so they don't catch on. (Other names for MSG: 'Accent' - 'Aginomoto' - 'Natural Meet Tenderiser' etc) But it didn't stop there. When our family went out to eat, we started asking at the restaurants what menu items had MSG. Many employees, even the managers, swore they didn't use MSG. But when we ask for the ingredient list, which they grudgingly provided, sure enough MSG and Hydrolyzed Vegetable Protein were everywhere. Burger King, McDonalds, Wendy's, Taco Bell, every restaurant, even the sit down ones like TGIF, Chilis', Applebees and Denny's use MSG in abundance. Kentucky Fried Chicken seemed to be the WORST offender: MSG was in every chicken dish, salad dressing and gravy. No wonder I loved to eat that coating on the skin, their secret spice was MSG! So why is MSG in so may of the foods we eat?.. Is it a preservative or a vitamin?? Not according to my friend John. In the book he wrote, an expose of the food additive industry called "The Slow Poisoning of America" he said that MSG is added to food for the addictive effect it has on the human body. http://www.spofamerica.com Even the propaganda website sponsored by the food manufacturers lobby group supporting MSG at: http://www.msgfacts.com/facts/msgfact12.html explains that the reason they add it to food is to make people eat more. A study of the elderly showed that people eat more of the foods that it is added to. The Glutamate Association lobby group says eating more benefits the elderly, but what does it do to the rest of us? 'Betcha can't eat just one', takes on a whole new meaning where MSG is concerned! And we wonder why the nation is overweight? The MSG manufacturers themselves admit that it addicts people to their products. It makes people choose their product over others, and makes people eat more of it than they would if MSG wasn't added. Not only is MSG scientifically proven to cause obesity, it is an addictive substance! Since its introduction into the American food supply fifty years ago, MSG has been added in larger and larger doses to the pre-packaged meals, soups, snacks and fast foods we are tempted to eat everyday. The FDA has set no limits on how much of it can be added to food. They claim it's safe to eat in any amount. How can they claim it safe when there are hundreds of scientific studies with titles like these? :- . 'The monosodium glutamate (MSG) obese rat as a model for the study of exercise in obesity'. Gobatto CA, Mello MA, Souza CT, Ribeiro IA. Res Commun Mol Pathol Pharmacol. 2002. . 'Adrenalectomy abolishes the food-induced hypothalamic serotonin release in both normal and monosodium glutamate-obese rats'. Guimaraes RB, Telles MM, Coelho VB, Mori C, Nascimento CM, Ribeiro Brain Res Bull. 2002 Aug. . 'Obesity induced by neonatal monosodium glutamate treatment in spontaneously hypertensive rats: an animal model of multiple risk factors'. Iwase M, Yamamoto M, Iino K, Ichikawa K, Shinohara N, Yoshinari Fujishima Hypertens Res. 1998 Mar. . 'Hypothalamic lesion induced by injection of monosodium glutamate in suckling period and subsequent development of obesity'. Tanaka K, Shimada M, Nakao K, Kusunoki Exp Neurol. 1978 Oct. Yes, that last study was not a typo, it WAS written in 1978. Both the "medical research community" and "food manufacturers" have known about MSG's side effects for decades! Many more studies mentioned in John Erb's book link MSG to Diabetes, Migraines and headaches, Autism, ADHD and even Alzheimer's. But what can we do to stop the food manufactures from dumping fattening and addictive MSG into our food supply and causing the obesity epidemic we now see? Even as you read this, G. W. Bush and his corporate supporters are pushing a Bill through Congress called the "Personal Responsibility in Food Consumption Act" also known as the "Cheeseburger Bill", this sweeping law bans anyone from suing food manufacturers, sellers and distributors. Even if it comes out that they purposely added an addictive chemical to their foods. Read about it for yourself at: http://www.yahoo.com. The Bill has already been rushed through the House of Representatives, and is due for the same rubber stamp at Senate level. It is important that Bush and his corporate supporters get it through before the media lets everyone know about 'MSG, the intentional Nicotine for food'. Several months ago, John Erb took his book and his concerns to one of the highest government health officials in Canada. While sitting in the Government office, the official told him "Sure I know how bad MSG is, I wouldn't touch the stuff!" But this top level government official refused to tell the public what he knew. The big media doesn't want to tell the public either, fearing legal issues with their advertisers. It seems that the fallout on fast food industry may hurt their profit margin. The food producers and restaurants have been addicting us to their products for years, and now we are paying the price for it. Our children should not be cursed with obesity caused by an addictive food additive. But what can I do about it?... I'm just one voice! What can I do to stop the poisoning of our children, while our governments are insuring financial protection for the industry that is poisoning us! This e-mail is going out to everyone I know in an attempt to tell you the truth that the corporate owned politicians and media won't tell you. The best way you can help to save yourself and your children from this drug-induced epidemic, is to forward this email to everyone. With any luck, it will circle the globe before politicians can pass the legislation protecting those who are poisoning us. The food industry learned a lot from the tobacco industry. Imagine if big tobacco had a bill like this in place before someone blew the whistle on Nicotine? If you are one of the few who can still believe that MSG is good for us, and you don't believe what John Erb has to say, see for yourself. Go to the National Library of Medicine, at http://www.pubmed.com. Type in the words "MSG Obese" and read a few of the 115 medical studies that appear. We the public, do not want to be rats in one giant experiment and we do not approve of food that makes us into a nation of obese, lethargic, addicted sheep, feeding the food industry's bottom line, while waiting for the heart transplant, diabetic induced amputation, blindness or other obesity induced, life threatening disorders. With your help we can put an end to this poison. Do your part in sending this message out by word of mouth, e-mail or by distribution of this print-out to all your friends all over the world and stop this 'Slow Poisoning of Mankind' by the packaged food industry.

Blowing the whistle on MSG is our responsibility, get the word out.

We met lady of horror: Katerina!

2005-08-30T21:32:00.000-07:00

Katerina ... meeting you was not certainly nice but it was fun for us as it was advanturous ...I am sure that no sane person in the globe books a rather expensive vacation to go and meet a hurricane but it happened that you came while we were wondering around Miami and figuring out how to shake our butts faster and faster to Salsa and Merengue ...
You were strong ... boy ...category one?! You already were going 75 miles an hour , surely above the speed limit ... and you could lift the chairs in balcony making us feel: oh .. these chairs are made of feather ...
Your bowls were so, so full that I can't imagine how many gallons of water you could've possibly drunk ...Do you have a drinking problem by any chance!? And it rained and rained nonstop for days and nights , for hours and hours
And dear, worst of all you were not thaught the right manners so you turned out so destructive and annoying ... You uprooted the trees , caused the power outage and just out of jelousy ruined cars by crushing trees on them ...

Katerina, I just saw u in Florida ... while you were at your best behavior, a category one ...can not even imagine what happens when you go so wild ... as category 5 ...

Just God(or whoever caused our being and the mess) bless us ...

And may you learn the right manners ...

Amen

Mummy superceds script

2005-08-30T21:23:00.000-07:00

I wanted to work on my script when I turned on the computer but then I felt I needed to talk to my mum and my script can wait ... No matter how much I love my script and writing .. that is one thing for sure that I love my mum more than anything else ... The amazing feeling of the worrying eyes ... the warm feeling of missing sb... they all raidate from you to me , my dear mummy. You might never know what your voice does through the phone line to my life, my heart and my feelings ...
I talked to her ... lots of jokes and stories as always ... we've always had this notion of imaginary characters and names surrounding us ... we always had names other than those names bestowed upon each of us at the time we are born ... and the names stay with me ... with her ... with us all ... may be it was these imaginary world and creatures that made me the creature I am now ... living in a dream land and lunatic for writing ... The living ghost that sleeps at 1:00 am and wakes up at 5:00 am to crawl into other room and write before the clock ticks the 8:00 am when she has to leave for work and forget about all those dancing caharacters on the page ...Mes peuvres amis ... je suis desolee .. vraiment desolee .. but I have to leave you all and go to work ... to survive and nourish in the dreamland ... It is this dreamland that lets me nourish and without the job , I'm expelled from heaven ... so no nags please .. whatsover ... are we clear my little fairy creature?:)

Naghab

2005-08-08T20:21:00.000-07:00

Naghb
Zamin ra naghb khaham zad
Rahi khaham kand
Be derazai e shab
Vali dar emtedad e rooz
Rahi ke tanha neshaniash ra
Khaham dad be Shab tab ha…
Tanha Anha khahand bood
Shahad e deidar e ma
Dar noor e eshgh e dastahi e ma
Dar zolamat e ein naghbe ghare peima!

Sabr dashte bash Shab tab zendegiam
Sabr …..Sabr .. Sabr….

Kathy Hadizadeh
LA 08/07/02

New Ones @ AryanMyth

2005-08-08T19:24:00.000-07:00

Ok .. ok . I've some new stuff .. one of them came iup because of my love for sunflowers and maybe this coricancha.. don't know .. anyway.. it led 2 the dear SunShine design .. it's happy and I think it can be nice for the kid stuff but of course I ordered myself this bag ... I like the color and the combination with the design thingie ..

The other one was beacause of dear Mateo, Diana's son being born as a lion that led to Mateo, The Leo .. And I called it The Giggling Leo

And the third one is used 2 show love and passion called : The Gentle-horse .. it's a symbol of a horse teaching men and women wanting to turn into gentlemen and gentlewomen on how they can go through transformation by becoming kind and giving out thoughtful, passionate gifts!!!! wow .. let me breathe ..

Remarakable Facts on Immigration

2005-08-05T14:21:00.000-07:00

Today we met with Brdon , the famous attorney of all times .. Obviously I was the veteran in the room .. waiting for the FBI name check for more than a year .. v. beautiful!!!!
Couple of useful points he mentioned that I write in case it helps any one else as well:
*After 180 days in I-485 pending cas e, one becomes a Free Agent and can change jobs but it should be the same function
*If u have a GC and need 2 stay out of US for some time, before u go , u get a RE-ENTRY permit which allows one 2 be outside US for 2 years and can be extended for another 2 years and can be renewed every year
* If u have been more than 6 months and the INS guy wants 2 revoke ur GC, simply say that u want 2 see the immigration judge
*Make sure u file ur taxes as Resident during this time
*For residency u need 2 be in US consecutively for 2 and a half years plus a day!
*Adjstment of Status is preferred over consular one because it's easier to challenge intelligence over meanness

Useful life points:
If u want a GC and are on visa, marry a citizen ... that's the best way! Constitution of marriage can save ur a** , pocket and nerves a lot of trouble!

Try 2 have as many nationalities as u can .. how? Don't know .. May be get reborn .. If any solutions .. let me know that !:)

Good luck with any body reading this and enjoying(da!) a pending case .... pls. throw a dime in water and pray for me too ...

How to Break In and Succeed as a Screenwriter

2005-07-19T17:18:00.000-07:00

How to Break In and Succeed as a Screenwriter Ok .. Now another one .. Tom Lazarus talks about his method! :)

IBM: A Work in Progress

2005-07-19T15:33:00.000-07:00

IBM: A Work in Progress Well, the stock is high but what happens 2 all those people whose jobs went to India?

Dastane Bebe va Happy cow

2005-07-19T11:40:00.000-07:00

Agha ma raftim le Pain Quotidiene ba Omid ke ye brunch mashti e asasi bekhorim va man ham dastanhai e esmesho nabar ro baraye Omid tarif konim .. Aghaye Bebe ham baad az 100 sal baraye avalin bar Tshirt happy cow e mohtaram ro eftetah kardeh boodan .. Agha the lady server comes:
Lady Server: Wowww.. I love ur shirt .. ur cow
Bebe: Tnx!
Lady: I'm a cow 2!
Bebe: Wow.. v. cool
Lady: I know the perfect cow joke for u shirt !
Bebe: So, tell us the joke

The girk takes a look at me and says: No, I'll tell u later.
Then she leaves ve hame ma too khomari ke dastan e joke chi bood .. Kholase eina hei migan : Kathy boro dastat ro beshoor ke man raftam va shostam vali khabari nashod az ein ke dastan chi bood

Baadesh rafyim Rodeo Drive gham bezanim .. Man ke too ein shahr zendegi mikonam .. sal be sal nemiram einja .. AAgha ghadam be ghadam dokhtarai e celeb jaan einakashoon ro varmidashtan ke neveshte t-shirt bebe jaan ro bekoonaan ye joke e kamel bood ta oonja ke omid goft: baba farbod ein t-shirtet ro bede man bepooosham!!!:)

Koli az dast e ein aghaye happy cow khandidim!

The Machinist ,El Maquinista

2005-07-18T22:11:00.000-07:00

Thriller/Drama/Mystery
Christian Bale .... Trevor Reznik
Jennifer Jason Leigh .... Stevie
Written by Scott Kosar who wrote Chainsaw masacre(2003) and Amityville horror. Graduated from SC and MFA from UCLA.Directed by Brad Anderson.

Brad Anderson is a refreshingly normal kind of genius. But the movies he makes are anything but. His last film, the much-neglected Session 9, offered an unforgettable blend of atmosphere, horror and metaphysics. His new film The Machinist features an astonishing performance from one of film’s most respected actors, Christian Bale who brings his considerable skills and a shocking 63 pound weight loss to a paranoid story about guilt, identity and the power of the conscience to enact payment.

I sat down with Anderson as he was in Chicago to promote his film, which played to 2 sold out screenings at CIFF 2004.

D: I’ve seen the Machinist compared to Fight Club but I’m surprised that noone has compared it to Insomnia or Memento or Vanilla Sky. It seems to me that both films are morality plays in a way that makes the very different from Fight Club.

B: …in the sense that characters in those films are on this inward journey where they learn something very vital about themselves? Well. Scott Kosar wrote the script about four years ago. His main references were the Dostoevsky novels he was reading.

When I make a movie of course I’m influenced by other filmmakers I admire but I try to stay away from doing things as an homage. I certainly borrow stylistically if I think it will help the story. As far as comparisons to other films The Machinist would definitely fit into that sort of sub genre where characters have some sort of epiphany in the last act. In our film we start with a character who is literally dying, for some unknown reason, from a lack of sleep which I hope sets the audience off into asking why?

D: It’s interesting to see the psychological thriller making a comeback but it seems like even the good films in that vein are having a hard time at the box office. And critics have also seemed to go after them as well. The Village, Identity, and The Forgotten, would be examples.

B: Well, I think this film is quite a bit different. First there’s really no supernatural, Twilight Zone twist. In the end what the audience learns is what Trevor Reznick learns about himself. I do think you’re right though, audiences have seemed to have grown tired of watching a movie only to find out that the character is dead, or he’s crazy, or the village is just a trick.

We didn’t treat Trevor’s problem like a gimmick. Sure our movie reveals something important at the end; the story is about recovering a memory, but it’s also about guilt and the way that guilt can eat you alive. We telegraph that pretty clearly from the very first scene, and I think the movie hinges on watching Trevor go through this emotional torment.

D: Guilt is something you’ve really mined well in your last two films. And you also ask your audiences to invest a lot of empathy, even sympathy for difficult characters. Why is it you’re drawn to that kind of story and storytelling?

B: Session 9 was my first foray into that kind of darker territory. I’d done two romantic comedies prior to that. Session 9 was really our attempt to make a very character driven horror movie but by horror I mean something different than what most people think of. People, especially critics, seem to associate horror with cheese ball shock tactics. We wanted to make a movie that slowly got under your skin, that was about building, inescapable dread. Obviously guilt plays a heavy part in that for characters in both Session 9 and The Machinist. They realize something horrible about themselves.

The funny thing is that I didn’t write The Machinist so I didn’t realize the similarity of the two films until we were done filming. But I was definitely drawn to it for the same reasons I was drawn into making Session 9. Let’s face it: stories about guilty people are fascinating. What’s more profound than people wrestling with their conscience? We all have our hidden secrets, our skeletons in the closet, our feelings of guilt; these things weigh on everyone to a degree.

D: That seems to be at the heart of what makes your darker movies tic. You attempt to generate a lot empathy, even sympathy, for characters that do horrible things. You’re not satisfied to cast them as psychotic monsters.

B: That’s why, to me, these movies are hard to leave in that category we think of when we think of the horror film. Because we defy people’s impressions of what a horror movie is supposed to deliver. The films definitely have a lot of the genre’s whistles and bells but ultimately they’re character studies. In Session 9 I deliberately cast Peter Mullen as Gordon because I thought the audience would be able to relate to him as a hard working blue-collar man with a new family. I think if you can’t generate sympathy for the monster then you’re not making something that will resonate. Look at Frankenstein. The power of that film is the empathy and the sympathy it generates for the creature.

D: Of course dread, guilt, sympathy, all of this presupposes loss and the need for some type of base level salvation.

B: In Scott’s original script there was no real redemption at the end and I did go back and ask him to help make Trevor a more sympathetic character. I guess I feel that, especially when working with material this dark, I want there to be some light as well, to not lose sight of that balance. Even at the end of Session 9, which leaves Gordon alone and weeping, maybe there’s a sense that he’s aware of his monstrousness even if he hasn’t paid the price for it yet.

D: But yet we get the almost oddly reassuring voice of Simon telling us how evil works.

B: Yeah, the weak and wounded. That’s what makes these kinds of movies so interesting for me. Getting in the head of the villain is a lot more interesting because so often you find that they’re broken, they can’t just be dismissed as the ‘evil other’,

D: Well, and when you’re creating something it’s often much better to let the characters do whatever seems most honest and true to who they are. Otherwise they stop being real. Our society seems so bent on forming itself around the idea that the police and the courts and the psychiatrists can solve everything but really the problems are much more complex than that and have to do with the universality of evil.

B: It’s intuitive. The best creative decisions I’ve ever made spring from that, not from trying to please some audience demographic. The Machinist was such a good experience because I was given essentially free reign to make the movie that way. Making the movie in Spain helped too. European producers seem more trusting; I really didn’t have any interference at all.

D: Do you see yourself going that financing route again or would you like to work with the larger American studios?

B: I’d be interested in trying my hand at a bigger picture. Whether it’s a studio film or not I would like to have more money because it allows you a broader vision. I mean, I know some directors who work on bigger projects and in the end it means more compromises but every movie is a series of compromises in some way. You never get exactly what you wanted; reality never jibes with what was in your head. But being able to make compromises on your own terms means you can live with them. If you’re being told by the studio marketing department that you have to change the ending because fifty three percent of the test audience doesn’t get it, well… more and more that’s how films are being made and not just studio films but even smaller independent films. The assumption is that you can sell a movie like you sell a stick of gum.

D: Unfortunately… you can.

B: And this is where the audiences are just as culpable as the studios. We buy into this crap. We make movies like, I don’t know…name any movie….

D: Go ahead…make some friends…

B: I’m guilty too. I go to these movies myself because I know they’re gonna suck. I guess in some weird gleeful way it’s satisfying to see something bad sometimes.

D: I’m impressed the words Aliens Vs. Predators did not come out of your mouth once…

B: It was just about to.

D: As far as filmmaking itself how do you deal with the tension between the script and the camera?

B: That’s an interesting question. I mean this is why films need directors. It’s a translation process. The Machinist is the first script I didn’t write or co write. For the scripts I write, I tend to think very visually. They’re almost a blueprint for how to shoot the movie. With Scott’s script the thing that drew me to it was it’s simplicity. It was very uncluttered. There was a lot of beautifully stark, evocative imagery but it was in between the words. I saw the possibility to visually, cinematically translate his story.

It’s not a calculation. The tone is the hardest thing to capture and maintain for any film. It’s intangible; it’s made up of all the different elements that make up the film. A different person would have made an entirely different movie here than I did. I could have seen a hipster, fast cutting graphic novelly thing with some industrial band doing the soundtrack and lots of Matrix style freeze frame… I wanted to consciously do something that had a more languid old-fashioned sense of timelessness about it. By taking out the contemporary gloss, I think the movie becomes more of a parable because, and it starts with Scott’s script, The Machinist isn’t like a story that actually happened, it’s a more of a cautionary sort of fable.

I knew I wanted the film to unspool more like a nightmare, to not be in your face, but those are choices I made as a director that seemed apparent to me the first time I read the script.

D: It’s interesting that we seem to be getting better at adapting works to the screen. More and more people walk out of theaters saying, “That’s exactly what was in my head.”

B: Yeah, we’re thinking cinematically more and more. Not only that but the arbitrary stories of life are being packaged more and more like movies. Look at the current political campaign, it has a first act, and a second act and now we’re moving into the big climactic third act. Of course life doesn’t fit that cinematic structure at all. Life isn’t that….smart.

D: But that’s what you’re movies are about. Finding that indefinable something, in this case, horror in the everyday, vs. finding it in Count Dracula or…

B: That’s why Polanski and Hitchcock is so influential to me. They were masters of paranoia. Polanski would always shoot through doorways and hide part of the action and the entire audience would be trying to look around the doorframe. If I can imbue something as seemingly mundane as a post it note with menace then I’m doing my job as a filmmaker.

D: Even your environments invite paranoia. The white industrial noise of a machine shop or the stark irrational decrepitude of Danvers Asylum…. They’re man-made environments but they’re also man-unmade.

B: When I first saw the building we used for Session 9, I was struck by how beautifully ugly it was. Decrepit building on a hillside covered with overgrown meadows…stuff that’s falling apart is so much more interesting. The locations can do so much to help you tell a story. In The Machinist we wound up shooting in Barcelona Spain so when we took out all those cultural markers I think we created a real sense of dislocation. … we don’t know where Trevor is, and even Trevor himself doesn’t seem to be sure of where he is. I don’t know if you noticed but there are also no laptops, or cellphones or name brands onscreen. That nondescript quality creates a sense of unease but it’s very subtle.

D: Let’s talk about your use of the theremin. It certainly bridges the gap between the characters mental state and the Twilight Zone situations and geographies they find themselves in. But were you ever concerned that a certain level of kitsch would work itself onscreen?

B: The theremin brought a real originality to the mix. It’s grim and haunting but it’s also sort of funny. It’s an instrument that people associate with bad sci-fi and horror films from the fifties and sixties but for me I thought that resonance would actually serve the picture well because there is a lot of perverse humor in the film. I mean essentially The Machinist is the story of a man chasing his own tail. And whatever else you want to say about the instrument, theremin is also highly emotional and after hearing the score from The Day the Earth Stood Still I knew immediately we had to have it in the film. It sets the tone in a way no other instrument could.

D: Speaking of original choices did you and Christian talk ahead of time about losing the enormous amount of weight he did for the role?

B: We never did. The script described Trevor as a walking skeleton, and I knew he would lose some weight because Chris is a dedicated actor. I assumed he’d lose maybe fifteen or twenty pounds, we’d put him in some baggy clothes, but… when he showed for the shoot it was shocking…he literally looked like he’d stepped off the train at Dachau. I think the total weight loss was something like 63 pounds. But of course the minute I saw it I realized it was perfect because Trevor needed to wear his torment, we needed to be able to see it eating him alive. It lent this marvelous weight to the central questions of the film, “Who am I?” “Who are You?” To see our character stripped down to his most basic essentials and still asking that question, wow! I’ve worked with some terrific actors and that’s something they all have in common. The ability to immerse themselves into whatever was required to tell a great story.

D: What’s next?

B: Well I have a dark “Don’t Look Now” type thriller called Lucid that I’m developing at Warner Brothers and that would be my first studio film if I got that going. And then I have a Brazilian Bossanova musical set in Rio during the sixties. It would be another genre hop which I like doing but ultimately I really do love these dark psychological films.

A Review:
Review by Carlo Cavagna

he script by Scott Alan Kosar (Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Amityville Horror) calls for a protagonist who looks like a “walking skeleton.” That's exactly what you get. With his every tendon, joint, and bone outlined against skin stretched taut, Trevor Reznik looks less like a human being and more like an anatomy class visual aid. Director Brad Anderson spends so much screen time lingering over Trevor's body as he stretches and moves that The Machinist sometimes resembles a yoga video for the undead. A hooker named Stevie (Jennifer Jason Leigh) observes that if Trevor were any skinnier, he wouldn't exist. His boss is more succinct. “I think you look like toasted shit.”

The actor who portrays Trevor is so dangerously underweight that it takes a while to recognize Christian Bale. Even in a time when weight gains and losses in the service of a role have become commonplace, Bale has accomplished an astonishing change, dropping a full sixty pounds to portray the 120-pound Trevor. And, clearly, he has gained the weight right back again, because he just finished shooting Batman Begins, which no doubt required a more heroic physique. How did Bale do it? “I didn't eat; that was it.”

The point is that Trevor, who claims not to have slept in a year, is a man so consumed by Something that he is wasting away to nothingness. Had Bale simply slimmed down a bit, you wouldn't have believed that he literally could be wasting away. By shedding such a drastic amount of weight, Bale physically manifests Trevor's internal torture, and therefore, whatever is haunting or pursuing Trevor a ppears all the more dangerous and horrifying.

Christian Bale looks like "toasted shit" in The Machinist.
Trevor is, as the title suggests, a machinist. His lonely existence consists of repetitive work at a local factory (where he irritates his boss by quoting labor regulations chapter and verse), late-night suppers at the airport diner where he flirts with the amiable waitress (Aitan Sánchez-Gijón), and occasional paid liaisons with Stevie, who has a soft spot for him.

All is not well, however. Trevor can't sleep. Mysterious Post-It notes appear on his refrigerator, taunting him with games of Hangman and questions like, “Who are you?” When a bizarre big-toothed stranger named Ivan (John Sharian) shows up at the factory, Trevor's downward spiral accelerates, resulting in a gruesome workplace accident involving professional screen villain Michael Ironside (Highlander 2, Starship Troopers). Little inconsistencies begin to add up to big questions. It is not giving away too much to say that Trevor begins finding it difficult to separate reality from hallucination.

Thanks to Bale's remarkable dedication and immersion, Trevor is a consistently compelling protagonist, even when he's not particularly likeable. Director Brad Anderson, who seems to make only romantic comedies (Next Stop Wonderland, Happy Accidents) and psychological horror (Session 9), has something to do with the film's success as well. Narratively and thematically, The Machinist is a logical extension of Anderson 's work in Session 9. It's even more psychological and introspective, so much so that Anderson failed to find a U.S. source of financing, and instead made the film in Spain. Unlike his previous films, Anderson didn't write or edit The Machinist, but it is unquestionably his work. As in Session 9, Anderson plays with bizarre sounds, which often provide scene transitions. It always seems to be 1:30 am. The film appears to have all color sucked out of it, except for Ivan's electric red 1969 Pontiac Firebird. An old-fashioned Bernard Hermann-style soundtrack by Roque Baños heightens the haunted, noir mood.

In some respects The Machinist is a stronger film than Session 9. The Machinist coheres better as a story, and seems a more assured and sophisticated film, relying on the audience to pay close attention rather than engaging in scare tactics. However, it is less of an edge-of-your-seat movie than Session 9. Rather than gripping, The Machinist is just creepy and disturbing. Obviously, the setting of Session 9—an actual abandoned insane asylum that cast members have called the scariest place on earth—has something to do with Session 9's thrills. But the main difference is that Session 9 keeps you guessing, while The Machinist does not. Because it's patently obvious that much of the film is in Trevor's head, your suspense may occasionally be replaced by irritation—“Okay, get on with the explanation already!”

Ivan is a character straight out of David Lynch, or a half-dozen other recent films. He's not particularly effective, because there isn't much doubt about who or what he is. Anderson borrows rather obviously from his own Session 9 and other films like Memento, the original Norwegian Insomnia, and Secret Window. If you've seen even one or two of these films, where The Machinist is going won't be difficult to figure out, and you may find yourself occasionally impatient to get there. However, The Machinist remains a sublimely crafted film, so if you can forget about the destination and lose yourself in the sensory experience, you're in for quite a treat.

Plan of week 07/18/05

2005-07-18T22:01:00.000-07:00

Read Janna book on formatting before starting(07/19)
Read Justine script and write notes (07/20)+screening of the Island so I have 2 wake up early in the morning
Rewrite first 4 pages on 07/19
See machinist
Send my pages 2 Chantale group
Email her 2 follow up
Call Al

Plan of attack for 07-18/05

2005-07-18T21:27:00.000-07:00

* Remember each character should have their own way of speaking. This way you can give them distinct personalites.One way of doing this is thinking about what that person write in their blog on a daily basis.

*U have promised 2 write 4 pages a week.

*Some movies to see:

LA Story:Harris Telemacher is the "Wacky Weather" presenter for a Los Angeles television station. He finds himself battling the insane conditions and people caused by the manic chaos that is Los Angeles. Striving to achieve happiness (or at least a date), he finds a helping hand from the last person he expected: the city of Los Angeles itself.
Actors: Steve martin/Sarah Jessica !/Directed by Mick Jackson is British and is the same guy who did: Bodygaurd.

Should watch as Janna thinks are similar to my story. It's good to see how I feel after watching them as that feeling is the "tone" of the movie that I'm looking for.

An affair to remember: Handsome playboy Nicky Ferrante and beautiful night club singer Terry McKay have a romance while on a cruise from Europe to New York. Despite being engaged to other people, both agree to reunite at the top of the Empire State Building in six months. However, an unfortunate accident keeps Terry from the reunion, and Nicky fears that she has married or does not love him anymore. Will he discover the truth behind her absence and reunite with his one true love, or has fate and destiny passed them by?
It has Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr.

A fond kiss:In Glasgow, Scotland, the Pakistani parents of Casim Khan have decided that he is going to marry his cousin Jasmine. Unfortunately, Casim has just fallen in love with his younger sister's music teacher Roisin. Not only is she 'goree', a white woman, she is also Irish and catholic, things that may not go down well with Casim's parents. They start a relationship but Casim is torn between following his heart and being a good son.
Keywords on Imdb: Interracial-relationship and Marriage of convinience
This is directed by Ken Loach. He has a big list of interesting films. Should check him out more. British.
Also Known As:
Bacio appassionato, Un (Italy)
Beso cariñoso, Un (Spain)
Just a Kiss (Europe: English title)
Produced by Rebbeca O'brien
It is written by Paul Laverty : An awesome guy.. I should see all his movies:
Biography for
Paul Laverty

Mini biography
Paul Laverty was born in Calcutta, India, to an Irish mother and Scottish father. He obtained a Philosophy degree at the Gregorian University in Rome. Thereafter he obtained a law degree in Glasgow, Scotland, and went on to do an apprenticeship with two of Scotland's most celebrated lawyers. He became a fully qualified practicing lawyer concentrating on civil and criminal law. (Miscellaneous case-load, from homelessness to preparation of murder trials.) In the mid eighties he travelled to Nicaragua, Central America, and lived there for almost three years. He worked for a Nicaraguan domestic human rights organisation which provided hard evidence of human rights abuses during the war between the Nicaraguan Government (The Sandinistas) and the United States backed "Contras" in which the subject of human rights became highly contested. He travelled to the war-zones and obtained corroborated eye witness accounts which were past on to international human rights organisations. He also travelled widely in El Salvador, during its civil war, and Guatemala too. (His interests in Latin America affairs continued much later with long research trips to Chiapas in Mexico, and along the US - Mexican border concentrating on the city of Juarez.)

After his time in Central America Paul made contact with British director Ken Loach as a result of which he wrote Carla's Song, his first screenplay, starring Bobby Carlyle, followed by My Name is Joe in which Peter Mullan won best actor in the Cannes Film Festival of 2000, followed by Bread and Roses, shot in Los Angeles, starring Adrien Brodie. Paul's next script, Sweet Sixteen won best screenplay award in the Cannes film festival of 2002. Paul and Ken have a very close working relationship now spanning over ten years. Paul has written five full length feature scripts and one short directed by Ken Loach and they have several other projects in development. Both work closely with producer Rebecca O'Brien.

Before writing he likes to immerse himself in the world of the film and carries out detailed research before writing the first draft. While he continues to work with Ken Loach he has other feature projects in development with other directors.

*Shower:Shenzhen businessman, Da Ming, goes home to Beijing when he thinks his father has died. He finds his father hard at work at the family's bathhouse (the false message was a ruse of Da's mentally-handicapped, exuberant brother, Er Ming, to get Da home). Da stays a couple days, observing his father being social director, marriage counselor, and dispute mediator for his customers and a boon companion to Er. Da is caught between worlds: the decaying district of his childhood and the booming south where he now lives with a wife who's not met his family. When Da realizes his father's health is failing and the district is slated for razing, he must take stock of family and future.

*Maria full of grace written by Joshua Marston

Biography for
Joshua Marston

Mini biography
Joshua Marston was born in California. His way to film direction has been atypical. Indeed, he first worked in Paris as a journalist for Life, then for ABC News during the Gulf War. He later turned to teaching in Prague where he was an English teacher for a year. Back in the USA he gaduated in Chicago, becoming a master of political sciences before getting a film direction degree from the University of New York. He made his first short in 1999.

Tonight show with Jay Leno

2005-07-18T20:35:00.000-07:00

OK.. Jay Leno for the first time at NBC studios ..tickets were thanks to Pezhman.. After a lot of hassle of not eating lunch and all that we showed up sharp at 3:30 PM 2 be the last people in line .. So, my advice if u want 2 go 2 these shows,show up latest by 3:00!
The guests were Senator John McCaine and Gary Busey
Well.. Senator .. OK ..it gave me some insight .. in my opinion he seemed 2 be a true follower of Mr. George W .. No wonder he was competing with him from the Republican party and for me there is no doubt he'll be the one running next time .. yeap .. Mrs. Hillary Clinton .. if u go , he'll be the one on the road of election with u ..
Here is just one example from him I remember:
IMMIGRATION REFORM “A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH”
For Immediate Release
Wednesday, Jan 07, 2004

Washington, D.C. - U.S. Senator John McCain (R-AZ) issued the following statement today in response to the President’s immigration proposal:

“I applaud President Bush for his leadership on this critical issue and urge Congress to take action now on immigration reform. Immigration is a national security issue for all Americans and a matter of life and death for many living along our borders. The urgency of this issue should not be ignored and Congressional action this year is an imperative.”

For God's sake u better understand there are people who die in an instant because of these immigration stock situation and there are people who die little by little .. they will not fall and collapse in a second but the roller coaster of immigration gives them such stress and distress that affects their fertility,maternity and in genral life span .. May be I go and study some anthropology or demography stuff just 2 prove my point ..
Anyhow .. He said that he prays for US troops to win every night and I pictured him kneeling on the ground on the stripped pijamas and praying .. but to WIN WHAT? Win the killing of people who don't like them 2 be at their land ? That's an interesting WIN .. the Applause sign went on and some people clapped but give me a break ..can any one here tell me win what?
Then Jay showed a pic of his rather mansion in Phoenix and he said:" Clinton wanted every American 2 have a house and I want each American 2 have one of these!!" Yeah , right! They way I see it now .. Even a mouse hole is so freaking expnesive and has soared but my salary ... tnx 2 GOD .. flat till annual raise stuff!
That Gary Debussy was fun .. kind of deformed and a TV guy so did not know him much ..
This Wicked cast performed .. marvulous green .. I guess it's the witch of Emerlad city story ..I loved that story and this Green attracts so might go for it .. on August 6th?!

Spielberg's film moves to Rabat

2005-07-06T16:49:00.000-07:00

Spielberg's film moves to Rabat This is cool .. I'm trying 2 imagine how the city would look like esp. with all those little fitti khanooms going here and there !!
The subject of the film .. that's OK for me ...though .. I like to see this new guy though who might become the next 007 .. Eric Bana!! And the best it happens in my lovely 70's!

Design for Tina: Color Genius

2005-07-05T15:11:00.000-07:00

Tina is my super dooper cool hairdresser .. with a great taste of movies and music .. It was some time I was wondering what can give her as a gift that I came up with this idea: Color Genius ... She's indeed a color genius with all the miracles she does on my head with colors and such .. so, with the help of guru Farbod .. Khepeleh has a new design : COLOR GENIUS!

We made her a T-shirt and I'm hoping 2 give it 2 her on Friday this week when I see her ...

If your are a graphist .. stylist .. painter .. or have a way with colors .. check out this design .. color genius is what u are!!

I'm back from Peru

2005-07-05T14:42:00.000-07:00

Yeah I'm back from Peru ... Great country .. wonderful people and lots of culture and colorful stuff everwhere .. I'll write about it one day when I have more time but for now .. I want to say that I can't talk about Peru ..

My Peru thing in my mind and heart has turned into a taboo subject .. all the beautiful journey .. the hardship of MacchuPicchu hike is hidden inside my chest and it's going 2 remain there ...

Why? Have I gone mad? Have I lost my talkative bully bully nature?! No .. not yet .. but I can't talk about Peru as my baby was here and we couldn't travel 2gether .. I went on this trip 2 break that barrier of imprisonment by INS rules for 5 years in my heart .. It was good .. Alas ..when u're a couple .. one can play only so much and enjoy .. u feel lost and u want him 2 be with u .. the cruel round of ame check and the crap stuff has stopped it ..

I don't tell any one about Peru except my work people .. at the buttom of my heart and somewhere down my belly .. I will consider the real freedom from this US imprisonment when baby and I can fly 2gether ....

I hope that day comes soon may be tomorrow?!! :)

How did Khepeleh like Crash(2005)?

2005-05-17T13:27:00.000-07:00

I saw Crash.. what a powerfull movie .. This Paul Haggis .. He's awesome .. the way he crafted the Persian guy and the Farsi words .. surely got the help of sb .. but this man is sth!
What I liked:
*Low budget: All happens in LA .. People conflicts basically zero cost yet not boring because of the way they confront each other
*Putting that middle finger right on the hard spots : When Sanra Bullock calls up her friend and wants 2 talk about her problem .. Her pal is not willing 2 listen 2 here .. People are good for each other for parties and such .. when it comes 2 needing help .. the world changes .. how he showed it
* That statue was such an awesome prop that he played so well with it .. u introduce it in one scene and use it in another scene as pushing the plot 4ward
* The Persian guy /The Korean and the immigrant fear of being cheated and not really listetning 2 others
* Bahar Soomekh , she's good looking .. Shaun Toub was good ... but in my mind that going 2 kill the man was too much of a reaction for a Persian .. I don't see them that hostile.. wel,, that 's juts me .. may be behind the ivory wall!

What I disliked:
* The points on that detective were confusing esp. at the begining
* Her mom's love for that other brother?!!

In general it was a great movie for me ...

I-485 Joooooon Beia .. Beia!

2005-05-17T13:15:00.000-07:00

Emrooz yanni hamin ye saat pish be ein naijeh residam ke khoda bayad harf e man ro beshnaveh .. khoda hatman dare hame chi ro mibineh va ein rooz tavalodam bayad ye kadoo be man boodeh .. age migam bayad be man nakhandin .. akhe khoda man ro afaraideh .. man be ein eteghad daram va khob khoda mehrabooneh .. pas che kadooee behtar az khoshahala kardan ein bandeh koochik dar roozi ke eraeh shode be jahan e faani?

Nemidoonam vali motmaenam ke khodaya komak mikoni ke man ta rooz e 20 May .. yanni 30 ordibesht yanni rooz e tavalod e mobarakam .. khabar khoob beshnavam .. yanni I-485 e kazaee tekoon bekhoreh va approve beshe .. Tu ro khoda approve sho .. joon e ame at .. joon e har kei doost dari tekoon bekhoor.. az July 2004 ta hala khabidi .. baset nist? Tu ro khoda tekoon bekhor .. Migan neirooy e maghz e adam baes mishe ke chiza dar jahan anjam beshan .. Man be tu fekr mikonam I-485 aziz e napeida ke tu ta se rooz e digeh sar va kaleh at peida beshe .. bebin 3 rooz ham behet vaght midam ke khoda nakaradeh tekoon nakhori .. aab too oon shikam gonde at tekoon bekhore .. tu roo joon e har kesi doost dari beia .. beia .. man tamoom e rooz a hadeghala ye bar ehet fekr mikonam va kheili rooza ye chizi hoodood e 5 ta ah az dastet mikesham .. dar mavared digeh ham 2 bar hafteh boghz mikonam ,, Hala az ashk va ah va ein chizam chizi nemigam chon ghalbam dard migireh

I-485 joon man montazeretam ba tamam e vojood .. rooh .. ghalb ..del .. roodeh and all ke beiaee .. beia va delam ro shad kon baray e tavalodam .. na tanha del e man ke baby .. mummy va kholase hame ro shad kon .. beia .. khahesh mikonam .. nemidoonam mantra ye oomadana5t chie ke 1000000 bar tekraresh konam .. faghat mitoonam daa konam va bas ...

Pas beshno ..
Beshno va beia .....

Khepeleh dar astaneh 32!

My passport revives after 5 bloody years!

2005-04-15T11:28:00.000-07:00

The big day has come for me.. the big day to celebrate the renaisance of my passport. I open the drawer and bring out the burgundy colored, little passport with golden letters engraved on it : Isalmic Republic of Iran. It's dusty and empty at the same time. Dusty as it has been retired for 5 consecutive years, since the time my snickers touched the soil of United States of America on 26th december 1999 till now. The pages are empty and blank, no visa, nada. I go over the pages, nothing written in them but are they really empty? On each page I've written a million words of sighs, tears and feelings by turning the pages all these years and wishing that I could use this passport, that I could go to all those unknown places that my heart craves for, that I could go back home for Norooz and spend a proper Eid with my parents afterall in my brain the time has stopped in 1378, the last real sal tahvil of my life .. well, so far . See, I'm hopeful!

Today my passport and I traveled to Consulate General de Peru in Los Anegels. A very simple office, small with I guess less than 10 employees in total(at least as far as I saw). They were friendly, very friendly and liked the fact that I could hablar espanol. They willingly repeated their sentences for me instead of trying to speak English which made me feel real good. Well , it was my first encounter in an " OFFICIAL CAPACITY " with the Lationamericanos!

My work permit expiring in less than 2 weeks after my return date on the itinerary made them raise their eyebrows and made me look out of the window and think: Even for travelling to Peru,where needs tourism for capital buget reasons , I have to hold my breath. Will ever this game end? Will the golden letters on that burgundi give me more self confidence sometime down the road?

My pals give me hope: Oh, you can apply for the green passport after you become a citizen. They give it to you in a year.And when will that be from now , 7-8 or 9 years from now? And we're talking years not weeks or even months and we're talking about a 30 years old girl not a new born baby .. yeah, that makes a difference . I certainly do not hope to see amazon river on crouches!

Anyhow, in less than 2 hours , I have a Peru visa valid for 15 days in my little passport.When we leave, my passport feels more important. I hear its heartbeat in my sweaty hands pressing it so hard.

And my heart , it beats faster for sure but not as fast as it should've. Why? Why? Because the game is not complete bacuse my other half is not there yet. Because I still have to check USIC site 3 times a day and each time hope for the final message, beacuse the processing time promise of 90 days has gone on for 8 months now without any reason , beacuse an INS officer made a mistake on stamping his I-94 when entering US , because the INS officers are protected by law against their mistakes and the innocent person like my buddy and I should suffer the consequences of their not knowing their job, irresponsibility or whatever you want call it , do you want any more reasons?

Promotion on Aryanmyth

2005-03-28T13:36:00.000-08:00

I am testing this promotion banner 2 see how it works!!

Gijam!

2005-01-27T12:03:00.000-08:00

دلم گرفته .. اون هم يه کم زياد .. نميدونم شايد چون يه کم گيجم که بلاخره چه کاری دلم می خواهد بکنم يا عين که چون گير عين adamai bei orzoo افتادم .. نميدونم که کدوم eina من رو اذر ميده .. شايد corporate آمريکا برای ِ من طراحی نشده ولی چه جوری ميشه بعد از عين همه سال زحمت و درس خوندن و عين dastana يهو رفت دنبال چيز ديگه که معلوم هم نيست behse ازش پولی darovord و زنده موند؟

Khepeleh, no cantas!

2004-12-20T13:27:00.000-08:00

Khepeleh Joon puedes cantar?
En una noche bastante fabulosa de esta noche.

No, cantas para mi , no, por favor!

Tengo un amante , un amante real qui canta para mi
Toda la noche hasta manana

Duermo en sus brazos y pienso en ti
En tu voz, en tu visage y en tus canciones

Y manana dejo mi amante para ti
Cantamos hasta noche
Quando te preguntas de no cantar
Porque me gusta regressar a mi amante ..

Es ma vida , Khepeleh , tu sabes ..
Tu sabes perfectamente
Ye ancora tu me quieres

Es l'amore de verdad .

Achete moi un filter!

2004-12-20T13:18:00.000-08:00

One of these days ...
Very soon, actually pretty soon

This body of mine will go to the market
That old market at the corner of neverland crossing dreamland
To buy that simple soul of mine a gift

A gift so simple, so primitive
Yet so precious and so unique

It is a FILTER
A magic filter that scans the unique souls around me
Matches the DNA flowing down the stream of my blood
And lets me choose the perfect companions of all
Among the big,flooded crowd of all tastes and ages ...

I will wear the FILTER
And will dance all night
In All parties thrown by each of the memebers of the crowd
Will close my eyes and throw myself in the hands of this one and that
Knowing that my filter will give me the right signal when comes the match

LA vida e bella , Dios!
No more worries , no more hardship , no more right and wrong
Here I am the creature of Amore e Amore
Enjoying the selection of the best and purest pour moi , seulemnt pour moi!

Until then , the time that comes back my body from market
I sit here at the corner
Corner of eternity of an immortal soul
And watch and watch the parties of those dreadful humans
Mingling, dancing, singing without the FILTER on

Only until then ...

Then .. I will join and rejoice!

Aaadamaaa

2004-12-20T13:14:00.000-08:00

Baazi adama ba safaand va zendegi dareshoon jarieh .. vaghti mibinishoon ehsas khoobi mikoni, ye modelaii khon e zir poostet ghieli vili mikone

Baazi adama az jense tu nistand .. fagha mibinishoon ke gosheshoon koni, dahanet ta banagosh baz beshe va ba khodet fekr koni .. mage mishe?!!!

Baazi adama faghat khoobe ke az door bebinishoon va bas .. faghat tamasha . ta ghar e khodet va ba safaha ro bedooni

Va emma ye seri ham hastan heif e noon .. yanni ke nabashan behtare ,, hata tamashashoon sakht khatarnake ...!!

Man ke ashegh e hamoon avaliam .. :)

Man va Namakdoon

2004-12-20T13:09:00.000-08:00

Namakdoon ro bardashtam va shoroo kardam namak pashidan .. rooy e khodam , baadesh ham bala paridam , paeen davidam .. einghad va einghad ke az nafas oftadam va neshastam kenare namakdoon sar e hamoon jaye avalam

Ye nigahi kardam be namakdoon va ba khodam fekr kardam chera ein karoo kardam? Baadesh yadam oomad ke har rooz karam hamine

Hakayet kheili az zendegi hast ... yekish ham mal e mane .. delam mikhad beshinam va banivesam .. harchi delam mikhad va az har kei be delam mishine .. vali baz ham mesle i, robot pa misham va shoroo mikonam be lebas pooshidan sar e saat e 8 .. va hamintoor halghe zendegi e machini man ro ba klhodesh mikeshe ..

Baz ham namakdoon ro barmidaram va shoroo ...

Ein Zendegi

2004-12-20T13:07:00.000-08:00

Dastam ro tooy e dastesh mizaram va ravaneh misham
Ahesteh va araam
Chera? Chera tondtar na?
Nemidoonam

Miram va miram
Ba khod mibaradam va man tanha ravaneh va nezarehgaram
va hamchenan saboor , minegaram
Ta be koja mibaradam ein chenin
Ein zendegi ...

Footsteps ....

2004-11-24T10:08:00.000-08:00

"As Clark Gable once remarked, there’s nothing more important than approaching your own doorstep and knowing that someone on the other side is listening for the sound of your footsteps."

Ronald Reagan

Ein ro man az Orkut profile Farbod dozdidam!!!!:)

First Inquiry Over

2004-11-11T09:46:00.000-08:00

Ok .. today is the 11th of Nov .. Veteran's day here in US and time is up ! I mean the time for th 1st inquiry on that gorgeous I-485 that I am awaiting it impateintly and nothing has come up .. Nothing .. did they ever get my inquiry ? No sais ! Nobody ever told me or sent an e-mail on that ... They go 4 the 2nd one on 15th ,,,, Will that solve anything finally khoady e bozorggggg :(

The Will of the People Was NOT Expressed In This Election from Revolutionary Worker

2004-11-11T09:24:00.000-08:00

Revolutionary Worker Online Special Page

The Will of the People Was NOT Expressed In This Election

Stunned anguish . . . bitter disgust . . . even despair. We try to find the words
and we can't.

And yes, it is as bad as you think. Almost certainly, it is worse.

On November 3rd, George Bush called up the newly elected Republican senators who
believe in such things as the death penalty for abortion providers and banning gays
from teaching and said: "Its time to get the job done." Capitalism personified,
Bush told the press "Let me put it to you this way: I earned political capital in
the campaign and now I intend to spend it". He is full of himself – on a mission
to take this whole nightmare to an even more intense, more repressive level.

If ever there was a leader who should be thoroughly rejected, if ever there was a
time for a country to become politically ungovernable, if ever there was an empire
that should be stopped dead in its tracks and prevented from shaping the future of
the planet – that leader, that country, that empire is right before us. If ever
there was a time when millions need to act on their nagging, deep-gut feeling that
something is terribly and radically wrong – that time is NOW.

Bush crows that he is backed by the will of the people. Bull! What will of the
people – when there was an entire campaign of disenfranchisement and intimidation
directed against Black people and immigrants from Ohio to Arizona, from Florida to
Mississippi?! What will of the people – when we may never be able to say what the
easily-rigged electronic voting machines really recorded? What will of the people –
when people were never given the chance to even hear (let alone vote on) a clear
strong voice against the war, against the repression, and against the Dark Ages
mind-set taking over this country? And where were the voices of people from Gaza
to Falluja, Kathmandu to Korea who are the most victimized by this Bush madness?
Where were the voices of the people of the majority of the planet who bitterly
oppose the war on Iraq? The fact is that the will of the people was NOT expressed
in this election!

True, Bush did get tens of millions of people to support him with eyes wide shut.
That was and is scary – and we'll speak to what's behind that later. But Kerry
never really went after Bush, and the whole way that things got confined to the
terms of "who would be the better commander-in-chief" was loaded against the people
from the gitgo. And now Kerry talks to us about "letting the healing begin?" We
don't think so.

Yes, people who hate what Bush stands for have to ask ourselves a hard question, but
that question is this: how did we get to this place where the choices, the limits
and the framework we are supposed to accept are marked, on one end by the
"Republi-fascists" who are clearly fascist and openly imperialist – and on the other
by the "Republi-crats", who confine themselves to a few petty amendments and even to
outrageous talk of healing?

And now what? Do we just accept this as the will of the people and try to find our
place somewhere within these new norms?

No, no, NO! This has proven disastrous and we have to change course NOW. We have
to build a fierce resistance based on what is truly just.

Two Different Moralities

Oh, but they tell us, Bush won because of his "superior morality."

Well, what kind of morality plays on fear and the desire for a false and illusory
safety to carry out relentless bombing and killing in Iraq, where it is now
estimated that over 100,000 people have died as a result of the war?

What kind of morality is expressed in the brazenly snapped photos of prisoners dead
and wrapped in plastic, or stripped naked and tortured, all sanctioned and
systematized by the chain of command and the legal opinions written by Bush's top
counsels?

Who can find moral salvation in whipping up fear and hatred of gay people, in
preaching the "loving submission" of women to their husbands and in resurrecting the
era of back-alley abortions?

What kind of morality accepts and excuses casting all immigrants under sinister,
police-state suspicion, and equates dissent and critical thinking with "treason"?

What kind of morality puts over 2 million in people in jail, the majority of whom
are Black, Latino and other people of color?

This is a fascist morality, one based on a fundamentalist and extremely vicious
version of Christianity. In the face of a rapidly changing world, this Christian
Fascism offers people order, certainty and vengeance. Millions of people are
severely addicted to Armageddon fantasies which are preparing them to mindlessly
kill and die for this empire.

And no, we cannot either hope this will go away or seek "common ground" with this
poison – we must "stage an intervention" with these people and directly take on this
hurtful and lunatic mindset they have gotten caught up in and are trying to force on
all of society. And if we do sharply take on this madness, we can "peel off" some
of these people from the Bush bunch. Many of them have sons and daughters killing
and dying in Iraq; many of them are victims of the "lean and mean" capitalism
represented by Bush (and Kerry for that matter); many, especially women, are still
trapped in social relations that scar their spirit and their lives; and whatever
solace they find in this Christian fascism cannot ultimately transcend all that.
This program of Bush's is not ending – he is immediately going to try to escalate
the war in Iraq in a terribly bloody way, and plan for further aggression. He is
going to try to pass a heavier version of the Patriot Act. He is going to further !
cut the
programs people desperately depend on and drive them to the "charity" of the
churches.

We cannot afford to either ignore, run away from, or to lose hope in the face of
this ignorant fanaticism and the hurtling momentum behind it. We can and must
remember the lessons of 9/11 – when Bush started out with the vast majority of the
country united around his "War on Terror", and when people were able to reverse that
polarization by exposing the true nature of it and mounting forceful resistance in
the streets. Yes, there is no denying, that Bush has just won the last round – and
that this will have devastating consequences. But it is an even greater truth that
the basis exists to puncture this atmosphere and actually reverse this dynamic and
get a different dynamic going – resistance based on the real interests of the
people, resistance based on aiming not just to dissent from or oppose this agenda,
but to actually STOP IT.

And yes, we do need morality – but a different morality. Our morality cannot be a
rationale for oppression and plunder, but must be an ethic based on the
understanding that the lives of people born around the world are no less precious
than our own. On the belief that the needs and interests of people should determine
the economic and political order, not be subjugated to a drive for ever greater
concentrations of wealth and power. On our refusal to stuff women and gays back
into the brutal box of traditional biblical notions. On our profound rejection of
racism and all its "modern, enlightened" coded language and policies. On a powerful
vision of human potential and the idea that all people should be brought into
thinking critically and scientifically and enabled to take part in determining the
goals and policies of our societies on an ever-deepening and expanding basis. On
our resistance to inhumanity and our willingness to put it all on the line to stop
it.

This morality reflects the interests of 90% of the people – not only around the
world but yes, here in the U.S. – and is something that a movement of resistance
should hammer out together and propagate. These are heavy times. The Christian
Fascist morality is preparing people to fight and die for exploitation, oppression
and ignorance. What are WE going to do? What kind of person is it worth being in
these days? These are the questions that together we will develop the morality to
answer and found our movement on.

Revolution, Resistance and What We Gotta Do Right NOW

Three years ago, shortly after 9/11, our Chairman, Bob Avakian, said that, "things
are bound to be vastly different . . . the America we have known will not exist in
the same way anymore." This is profoundly true and borne out by the events of the
past few years.

Even beyond the immediate grotesque inhumanity of the Bush agenda, there is an utter
absurdity that in the year 2004, with all the tremendous resources and technological
advances, with the unparalleled wealth of knowledge and communications, and with the
creativity of billions on our planet, that we sit perched on the edge of being
plunged into darkness. But these very conditions also hold the possibility of an
entirely new era based on revolutionary transformation. The Revolutionary Communist
Party, USA has a programme and an eminently sane and necessarily bold plan for
revolution. And it has the leadership of Bob Avakian, who has led in looking at
the whole experience of socialist society – upholding the great achievements while
critically examining the shortcomings – and has re-envisioned a radically new
"model" that not only eliminates the terrible inequalities of capitalism but brings
forth a vibrancy and flourishing of the critical spirit never before seen in any s!
ociety.
And as part of that whole vision, we see the urgent need right now to join with
others to build a movement founded both on our common opposition to the Bush
juggernaut and an ethos where we discuss and wrangle over what should replace that
and how we get there.

And as for the elections? Okay, we took a hit, a bad hit. But it ain't time to
leave the country or to put your head down and figure out how to live under fascism.
For the past few years the people in this country have been taking our place as a
part of a global humanity, filling the streets and letting the world know about the
opposition to the whole Bush agenda of war, repression and enforced ignorance right
here in its homeland. It was only two months ago that half a million converged to
protest the Republican National Convention. That half a million folks – and the
millions more who put their hopes in Kerry only to find them crushed yet again –
have to act and act NOW.

Right now Bush & Co. are getting ready to carry out a horrific massacre in Falluja.
They are preparing a disgusting coronation of their blood-soaked arrogant champion.
They are moving quickly to bring down the hammer and beyond that to set the terms
for the next generation. Is the Bush crew gonna face resistance to this? Will
people all over the world see Americans marching in the streets, refusing to be
bottled up – or will they be left with an image of a sheep-like populace rolling
over for Bush, reinforcing the image of America as a monolithic evil? Will people
walk the streets of America, not even daring to think about the future and fearing
for the present, or will they take heart when they see windows full of "NO" posters,
whole towns declaring themselves "fascist-free zones", and a rebirth of the
traditions of the Sanctuary movement of the 1980's and the Underground Railroad of
slavery times? Will we have each other's backs – the librarians, the professors,
the!
artists,
the everyday folks who dare to step out and say NO? Will we discuss and debate
even as – and as part of – solidifying our own unity, while we boldly step to and
try to win over people still under the sway of the Bushian mentality of fear and
ignorance?